Hello everyone
I often hammer away at my keyboard in a Word file about workplace frustrations.
Back when I had to make decisions about education (~20 years ago now), I went in the direction my family thought I should go (Life Sciences), rather than the direction I wanted to go (become an engineer). I don't hold this against my family - I just should have done what my heart told me to do in the first place, but I just didn't have the guts. So, I've gotten myself in a stinker of a career situation.
I work in a big manufacturing facility where I run a pilot facility and there is a huge expansion underway. We are in our busy time and it's total chaos. I have tried to keep it together, knowing that it's only for 7 or so more weeks. But the whole year has been incredibly busy. Most of the staff I have in the pilot facility is negative and ungrateful, and always trying to game the system. It has been one personnel issue after the other. I can't focus 100% there because I got tasked with a lot of other stuff around the expansion.
My whole career has been one frustration after another, usually dealing with peoples' negative attitudes. The more responsibility I get, the more time I spend dealing with this crap than doing anything meaningful. There is nothing positive or rewarding about this. But I figure it's either this or having to report to some self-entitled Gen Y punk with multiple degrees and no world experience.
I walked out today. Had it. I've since talked with a few people and hopefully smoothed things over, but I think the damage I might have done today won't totally be repaired, ever.
I've seen counsellors over the years, and read a bunch of the "do what you love" guru stuff (but if that ain't a bunch of crooks selling vulnerable people a bill of goods I don't know what is), but none of it helps.
If I could start all over again, I would become a robotics engineer and dedicate myself to getting small businesses around the world working at the same efficiency (and costs) as the large behemoths that dominate pretty much any industry, thus giving them some (a lot of?) much needed competition - this applies to pretty much anything being made. But, I am pushing 40 and I have an upside-down mortgage, so I'm pretty screwed, helpless and clueless about what to do next.
I try and move and it's like there is a big hand pushing against me as I try and move forward (like to even go get a drink of water). I've had to get professional help since grad school, but it never really works. And a 45-minute session every two weeks isn't going to help much of anything.
I don't necessarily expect help here but maybe if I post this here instead of my hard drive somebody will at least read it.
If you've made it this far I appreciate it. Peace.
