Stigmas....?

[Ezel]

I got thinking about the subject of stigmas when responding to another thread as there is a stigma attached to depression.  For example I have a niece who has suffered with OCD for many years which eased when she had her sons but it is getting bad again.  She takes about 2 hours to showers and when she washes she makes either her husband or one of her sons make sure she washes her hands 36 times.  There is a lot more that she does but you get the picture.  It has taken about 15 years for her parents to finally admit that she has a problem but her husband is doing nothing to help her or get her to see a doctor.  It's got so bad her eldest son is copying by doing such things as wiping his hands with baby wipes before he picks up a clean towel.  She has even been known to tell the staff in MacDonald's to wash their hands before touching the food for the family.

I have also had to deal with stigma in another part of my life and that's with adoption.  Over the years I have dealt with abuse because I 'chose' adoption simply because people either don't believe in coerced adoption or they believe that ended back in the 1970's.  I have lost count of the times I have been accused of blaming others for my son being adopted. 

Have you encountered other types of stigma?

[Zaf]

So far only with deprssion Pip

Z xx

[Munchroom]

I've come across it working with old people... we have one doctor at our surgery who has a bit of a reputation of being a bit useless with elderly people as he tends to just write them off because they are 'old'!   We also have residents without dementia who dislike being around those that do have it, understandable to a point, but its unfair to penalise those with a serious mental health concern.

I also found it when I was younger. My parents moved from our normal terraced house into a church when I was about four or five.... children of school age can be very cruel and I dealt with a lot of bullying and teasing because I lived in a church building where my parents were caretakers - even to the point where after we had actually moved out (I was around 14 at this point) there were comments made about the manufacturer of our lock on our front door, it was 'Hollymade'... cue lots of 'Holy' comments and being wound up about how we were snobs and would only buy things that had been made by the hands of a 'holy person'. It seems silly things looking back on it now.

[Buttercup]

I don't tell many people about my bipolar because of the stigma.

As I teacher I see a few different stigmas. Statements of educational needs has a lot of stigmas but strangely you also get some parents who are desperate to get their children a statement.

Autism and like also attracts people and on my experience even other teachers to say they are just naughty children. Actually there's a difference in the behaviour of children who are being naughty and those that are autistic etc.

[Catbrian]

This got me thinking about when I ‘came out’ as gay in the early 80’s in Scotland.  At the time, I was doing my Youth Work training with the Church of Scotland and was on a placement with a parish church in Dundee, which was very Pentecostal orientated.  Their readiness to judge infuriated me.  They seem to forget (as many still do today) one of Jesus’ most fundamental teachings was ''do not judge''.  He famously says, ''why should you concern yourself with the speckle in your brothers eye, when you have a log in your own''.   I decided to put them to the test and expected nothing less than stigmatisation from a bunch of narrow-minded, very ignorant people.  However, nothing could prepare me for the full force of their wrath.

At the time, being a practising gay was still illegal for under 21’s in Scotland and many men were still being imprisoned.  Gay venues were virtually non-existent.  If you were lucky, a monthly gay disco was held in a far out secret location and organised much like illegal raves are today.  We too were often subject to police raids and the most unbelievable harassment.

Of course, we now live in some of the most tolerant societies man has ever known.  But, sometimes the stigma associated with homosexuality is still very much alive today in the hearts of many, it’s just they choose carefully when to vent those prejudices, for fear of being stigmatised themselves! 

Yes, it’s true, whether we wish to admit it or not, I believe there’s a core to human nature that seems to carry varying degrees of the ability to stigmatise that which we cannot understand.

Thanks Pip, that was very thought provoking

[Sweetpea]

I have only experienced it with depression. S x x x x

[Ezel]

Munchroom ~ your post reminded me when I was nurse training and did a stint in a Jewish nursing home.  There was a lady that the staff avoided as much as possible as she was 'demanding and miserable'.  I started talking to her properly on my second day there and it turned out she was actually lonely.  She had been there for years and her friends had slowly died.  After that day I made a point of having a chat with her even if it was after my shift ended.  The staff noticed a change in her so started talking to her more often.

Catb ~ attitudes towards gays and lesbians infuriate me.  As a Christian I feel ashamed at times particularly when fellow Christians start on the subject. Whatever church I have belonged if the subject has arisen I have made my views very clear that it's the person that is important not their sexuality.

[Rumple]

   For me, it's the stigma of being being considered a loser by my family. I am the only one in the family who isn't successful. If I attend weddings or other events, I feel humiliated and marginalised.

[Got]

I keep my issues out of work. At some point is seems as though I am going to tell them.

In terms of your niece, she has severe OCD. By performing the rituals she is making it worse and worse, and people helping her to perform them are not helping her at all. She needs CBT and I can think of no logical reason why she should not seek help immediately. In the case of OCD, it could be less of the fear of stigma and much more the fear of facing up to having to fight her OCD fears which is stopping her from seeking treatment. It is a shame her husband is not encouraging her because this is what she clearly needs.