Looking for advice

[wolfinexile]

Hi everyone, first time post from a new member. I am here for advice on what to do really. I am unsure as to whether I have depression or not - I have done all the online tests (including NHS), which all point to some sort of depression. I've done plenty of research into it and I seem to match the majority of symptoms. I've never spoken to anyone really about this, as I live alone in a city where I don't know anyone except for few workmates.

I have been getting worse the last few weeks - moving from feeling down, guilty and bad about myself - to actually physically harming myself for some sort of relief - this has become a daily thing now. I'm losing sleep, lost over half a stone in just two weeks while eating very well, causing me to exclude friends and family from any form of contact, affecting my work, turning to alcohol just to get a break - just generally feeling pretty awful about everything

I thought I had depression a few years ago but my former doctor dismissed it and told me to leave - which has delayed my response in talking to a doctor now about it. I don't want to feel like I am wasting their time etc.

I just wanted to talk to someone about it and wondered what the next step is best for me - what would you recommend?

Thanks for reading and thanks for listening.

[Zaf]

What a shame a previous doctor treated you like that, I can understand your reluctance to seek help in that direction again but I would suggest getting an appointment with a GP and being very honest about your symptoms, especially the self harm

Z xx

[Sweetpea]

Hello and welcome, I agree, I think it is the best thing to make an appointment with your dr. If it helps jot down how you have been feeling, including the self harm, this way you will remember all you have to tell him/her.  I always go to pieces in the dr's room. 

S x x x x

[Beetzart]

Hi Wolf, nice to meet you, welcome to the forum!

First of all your former doctor is a disgrace to his profession treating you like that.  Did you make a complaint?  But thankfully ones like that are rare these days so please don't be put off as it seems you seriously need medical attention.  Can you get an appointment tomorrow maybe.  Please don't think you will be wasting their time because you are not well and if you tell them everything that will do something. 

All the best

Beet

[wolfinexile]

Hi guys.

Thanks for the replies, really appreciate it. I think I've just been scared about going to the GP after last time - he was my doctor for my university years and that was the only time I ever saw him. I do hope my new GP will be more understanding - the last thing I want is to be shunned again. I didn't make a complaint at the time, looking back I probably should've done.

I do hope to get an appointment ASAP - have only just registered with a new doc down here so I do hope they give me the time of day.

Didn't mention in my original message, I'm 23 and male- don't know if that effects severity/likeliness of depression at all?

Thanks for the kind words X

[Beetzart]

Hi, the chances are you will get an understanding doctor.  I know it is hard when depressed but it is easy to fall into a trap with GPs where they try to tell you it's probably nothing especially the first time you see them, so you have to try and be persistent.  I was severely depressed and anxious at about your age (I'm 34 now) I went to my very nice GP and we had a chat and he referred me for counselling which could take over 6 weeks to begin.  But I was in a state and needed help now, so I went back in a soon after and assertively asked for medication, I even told him what I would like, paroxetine.  He did prescribe it eventually.

I hope you get to see someone soon.

Beet

PS I went to my GP just before xmas last year, because I was feeling bad, couldn't sleep etc and he said I had mild depression and ADs wouldn't be necessary.  I told him I was already on 4 different meds.  He hadn't read my notes and just went 'oh yeah, what would you like me to do then?'. 

[Zaf]

I hope your GP listens properly and gives you the treatment you need, I know it can be difficult to be assertive when depressed but its really necessary if you feel you're not being taken seriously

Z x

[Ducky]

"my former doctor dismissed it and told me to leave" - good grief, you really should file a complaint and attempt to get him/her struck off, these kind of so-called GPs are a disgrace to the profession. Sadly there are quite a few about, and it can take a while to find a caring and understanding one, but they do exist. I tend to find female GPs far more understanding about depression and related illnesses, as SOME male ones will still tell you to pull yourself together. This also holds true for grief/bereavement as I found out after I lost my son.

So try and find a good female GP and go and see her - remember you can change doctors as often as you like until you find one you feel comfortable with and never be afraid to complain.

Good luck

Ducky

[CharleysAngel']

I'm really sorry to hear about your past experience with your doctor, its understandable that you are finding it difficult to see help now after that. I do hope your new GP is more understanding and gets you the help you need xx

[wolfinexile]

Thanks again for the advice guys, my registration at the GP is taking longer than expected so won't get booked in until at least tomorrow. The sooner the better as work was just horrible today.

I don't know if there is any connection, but I developed an unbearable migraine at work today - last time this happened was also at a time I was feeling pretty low. Do you think there is a connection here? My only other thought is I may have brought it on myself with the self-harming - either way, it made my day absolute hell - I couldn't concentrate, read or even see properly. I didn't dream of asking to go home as 1) my boss doesn't understand/appreciate it and 2) I don't want to tell anyone about it (last thing I want is people asking if I'm OK every 5 minutes etc)

Thanks again, really appreciate it.

X

[Zaf]

I'm sure migraines can be brought on by stress

Z xx

[Sweetpea]

I agree I think so too, I suffered from terrible headaches when I had my breakdown  .

Hope you manage to get registered with the dr tomorrow.

S x x x x

[wolfinexile]

Hey guys. Just to let you know, I've managed to get myself sorted with a doctor later today. Going to be a bit hard to talk about everything for the first time with a brand new doctor - any advice on how I should approach it?

Thanks again X

[Sweetpea]

Thats good to hear.  I would just tell him/her exactly how you have been feeling and your thoughts.  Maybe jot a few main points down so you can refer to these.  I always seem to get into the room and my ind goes blank with worry/fear. 

Hope it goes well.

S x x x x

[Zaf]

I agree with shaz, definitely write a few things down, its so easy to become dstressed and forget half the things you want to say.

Z xx