Now just brave enough to post

[boo2012]

Hi Guys

I joined a while ago, but only just been brave enough to post...

I have had depression on and off since I was 18, i am now 31, have had really black periods of up to 18months then seem to bounce back to some sort of normality, then only to be swamped again. i have had so much time off from various jobs due to this. I have been diagnosed with social anxiety and PTSD in the past.

I have been on so many different tablets none seem to really help, so far, have had counselling twice, CBT for nearly 17 months and EMDR therapy.

Currently I have been diagnosed with PND, as I have a 20 week old little baby, I am sertraline and zopiclone (sp) to help me sleep.

I am really strugglying right now, we have had some "issues" with hubbies family and that has just about flattened me.

I feel so incredibly guilty for feeling like this, i have the most wonderful hubby in the world, a hansom baby boy and loving supportive parents, I know I am incredibly lucky to have people around me for support.

But yet everyday I seem to have to fight with myself over everything, worrying about everything, sleeping, eating, if to go out.

I guess I am just reaching out and its nice to be around like minded people cause although i have support none of them have had depression, except my dad so it can be hard for them to understand, especially when i am not always very good at explaining cause its all muddled up.

[Sweetpea]

Hi Boo and welcome to the forum, we all understand here.

S x x x x

[Zaf]

 Boo, we definitely do understand here and will help as much as we can xxx

[weldalot]

Hi, ive just posted myself on here being new. I just read your post and know exactly where you are coming from. I to get that stupid bloody guilt thing about feeling like this and im guessing thats because loads of people who haven't had depression  think you are coming it and I must admit before I had it I was one of those people. I used to say "oh give yourself a shake and get on with it". If only it were that easy.
    I find this forum good to download problems on to.. it helps a bit knowing you are talking to like minded people

All the best to you

[KateG]

Hi Boo and welcome to the forum

Just a word of advice about zopiclone - don't let them leave you on it for too long, or only take it once in a while, try and get them to give you an AD which makes you sleep too, rather than a specific sleeping pill  %^%

Kate x

[boo2012]

Thank you all for replying  %^% i have been floating around all the boards, on and off all morning while trying to entertain little one, who is now fast asleep.

Not that i want anyone to feel rubbish, but its good to be around people who feel the same-ish

Hi Kate, Thanks xxxx zoplcloine I can only really take at the weekend when hubby looks after LO during the night, as we are up for several night-bottle feeds- 4 last night ,  i have been on it a while ago and it was a total nightmare to get off, but i have tried various other tablets and none knock me out! I take 1 7.5 and If i am lucky get 6 hours sleep. Hubby is trying to get a days annual leave at the end of the month,  and I am going to try and book an appointment with my GP ( who is lovely and understanding) and will ask her if there is another one I can try.

Take care everyone xxxx

[Ezel]

 +_+ and $£$

[Ducky]

Zopiclone can be addictive or, rather, your body becomes dependent on it and you need to take more and more and shouldn't be used for more than 2 or 3 weeks at a time, try alternatives - herbal remedies, relaxation tapes, exercise, warm drinks (non alcoholic), etc. Good luck.

[Buttercup]

Really feel for you Boo, it's hard to cope with a young baby and no sleep at the best of times  %^%

Glad you've got an understanding and supportive GP, it really makes all the difference.

[plumb]

Hi. Also new here. Having children is soooooooo difficult and anone who says its easy is a liar. We have 3 and the youngest is nearly 3. My wife has has post natal depression with all 3 and it was a massive strain on our relationship each time. Nothing can prepare you for having children and the loss of sleep make things even harder. All i can say is try and meet up with other first time mums and hopefull you will make some good new friends with whom you can share your thoughts.

[boo2012]

Thank you guys for all taking the time to reply xxxxx

i am lucky to have a good GP-they are rear I think! She herself has had PND, even though it was a long time ago.

Plumb- I am sorry your wife has suffered with PND, I am lucky 3 of my friends also have babies under 6 months- although they don't have PND, they are a great support to get me out to different groups with there little ones, as I am not great at going to new things on my own.

take care everyone  *)* xxxx

[plumb]

hi. so glad you have friends with similar age little ones. it really does help but dont think you are the only one struggling even though they may put on a brave face. do they know you have pnd or are going through a bad time?

[sad sack]

Welcome along...

 *()

[whiteadder]

Welcome - glad you felt ready to post and hope you find it as helpful here as I have :)