Night out, waste of time and money

[mrmoody]

I went out last night with a friend on Broad Street in Birmingham which is the local bar/club/pub circuit(circus). I dont go out at all, not much anyways. I didnt really enjoy it, I found it an alienating and expensive waste of time. I dont think I even enjoy alcohol anymore to be honest, even though my drinking has always been about self-medicating and sitting on my own drinking. Last night was loud, alienating and I felt an outsider in it all. I am 39 and I didnt enjoy it much when I was 20 yrs younger so doing it now just felt that bit worse. I am £40 worse off and have a hangover which makes my depression much worse. I just dont see the point in it anymore. I dont enjoy alcohol as much and nights out like that never interested me that much. I start on antabuse next Friday, I cant wait. No more hangovers and feeling depressed feeling next day

[Zaf]

I think we all get to the stage where we realise we dont still enjoy the things we did when younger and, in my case not physically able    goat wrestling (trimming their feet), cow taming, breaking horses, "just help lift this" (top off a 6 cylinder diesel lorry engine) etc etc

Z xxx

[Catbrian]

Mr Moody &*(

I can totally relate to what you're saying.  I do like a drink indoors but cannot be bothered with the expensive city socialising.  It's been a long time since I had a drink indoors due to the yucky feelings the next day.  Depression is bad enough without an additional hang over.

I take it antabuse is anti-alcohol.  I'm sure it's only half the battle but I wish you well with this

[mrmoody]

yeah antabuse is a medication that makes you ill if you drink while on it. I plan to take it for a year or so. I have already started alcohol counselling as well

[Happywanabee]

Good luck with this. Hope you are feeling better by now? Know what you mean about it being a waste of money as I would far rather stay in too, dread going out in that way and avoid it as much as I can.

[mrmoody]

Me too Happy, hate it and only did as I went down to Birmingham to see a mate and he suggested it. I did it and I didnt like it and knew I wouldnt. Just an extra incentive now to give up the booxe. Thankfully he suggested if I go down and visit again that we do non alcohol related activities in future which suits me. I still feel rough as in down and last night before bed I felt suicidal and had a terrible time getting to sleep also.

[Catbrian]

Whenever I've been drinking, I never sleep.  It seems to be like a stimulant to me and usually lasts until the day after hangover ends.

Good luck mr moody

[mrmoody]

oh well its done and over with now. Was a waste of money as far as I am concerned and I could have spent the money on some hobby. I have to stay sober now for 4 more days anyways before I go on antabuse.

[Catbrian]

I have had addiction problems.  I dunno how i'd cope with something that made me ill if I touch my 'addictive pleasure'......Mmmm not even sure it would be enough to stop me

[mrmoody]

alcohol has never really been my friend like I think it has, has always lead to big problems in my life plus these horrible two day depression hangovers are more of an incentive than ever before to stop. Money, health, mental wellbeing all of it comes in to it. Not saying its going to be easy hence why the antabuse. But it will help and I can do it

[Catbrian]

You can do it Mr moody, you sound motivated enough. 

I gave up alcohol, fags, cocaine, amphetamines and diazepam.  I still enjoy a wee puff of hash through a pipe but I now only use a little at night, rather than all day long - I have been a very greedy substance abuser.  I still very occasionally drink a little alcohol as it never did feel an addiction like the other stuff.  It's my 49th birthday tomorrow, so I might well have a wee glass or two!!

When I first gave up all this stuff, it was very difficult.  Life felt so empty and boring.  I was always a "high performance substance abuser".  However, I plodded through my days doing the same things I would've done had I been off my face.  Before too long, I was able to do everything without thinking much about the substances.

It can be a tedious journey, but stick with it and, before long, you'll be bouncing with enthusiasm &(*

[mrmoody]

I am doing it so as I can see my kids again as well as my ex brought up all my past alcohol abuse the first time a solicitor of mine wrote to her, in fact anything and everything she could including self harm which hasnt happened since 1998. Thanks for the support Cat, you gave up a hell of alot yourself so you know about the emptiness it can bring. Can I ask what you did to fill your time? Also what is a high perfomance substance abuse user? Does that mean you held down a job and was active as in going out alot? Did you give up purely by decision and willpower alone or with help and support groups?

[Sweetpea]

You will do it. Good for you Mr Moody. S x x x x

[Zaf]

I know you can too xxx

[mrmoody]

thanks guys it wont be easy but it can be done