Grief v Depression

[Ducky]

Is there a definite way of differentiating between the two? Yesterday was the 18th month anniversary of my son's passing. I still cry every day and miss him desperately. I went out book hunting and in one shop over the radio came "Think Twice" by Celine Dion, one of his favourite songs and I started crying quietly to myself.

I have read so much about grief, that there is no set period for it, some people can stop grieving quite quickly, others grieve for the rest of their lives. And yet the symptoms of grief and depression overlap in so many ways. I have always suffered from depression to varying degrees, but have on the whole been able to control it with medication and other means; but grief seems so much worse. I suppose when one is depressed, you know that you MIGHT have good times at some stage, but when you are bereaved, you know you will NEVER see your loved again. (That, of course, depends on your religious views; I converted to Buddhism so believe there is no heaven and I still haven't made up my mind about rebirth, though my son was convinced that he would come back as a dog!).

Has anyone on here experienced both? If so, were you able to differentiate between the two and how did they affect you in their own ways?

Many thanks in advance,

Ducky

[Zaf]

I wish I could answer that, there seems to me to be a period where grief and depression blur into one and cant really be separated, I think we are all different but in my experience they gradually move apart so its easier to tell one from the other.

Z xxx

[Sweetpea]

Sorry I can't answer that one either. My belief is that our loved ones look over us and guide us. But that's just my view on death. As you said we are all different. X x

[Zaf]

My belief is that of reincarnation and we are bound to people from past lives so meet up with them again xx

[Ducky]

I wish I could answer that, there seems to me to be a period where grief and depression blur into one and cant really be separated, I think we are all different but in my experience they gradually move apart so its easier to tell one from the other.

Z xxx

Mine don't seem to be moving apart, they seem to have merged into one. %$£

[Zaf]

It may take a lot longer I think Ducky, again we are all different xxx

[Ducky]

How can one's own GP then differentiate between the two regarding prescribing medication if the two are so similar?

[Zaf]

That I dont know, the same medication may be appropriate for both.  I'd have thought a counsellor would be more likely to tell the difference

Z xx

[Ducky]

I had 4 sessions with a bereavement counsellor but found it a waste of time - she was Greek and wasn't fluent in English (which didn't help) but I've had enough of seeing various counsellors, psychiatrists and the rest. "£"

[Zaf]

That certainly would be difficult - I think counselling is a very personal thing, if you find someone you gel with you can get very good results, otherwise it can be disappointing

Z xx

[Sweetpea]

I totally agree with Zaf about the counselling, I tried it when I had my first breakdown and got no-where.  But this time is was so different, I got on so well with my counsellor and she helped me so much by helping me see why I am like I am.  We are all different and different councelling approaches help different people.

S x x x x

[Ducky]

The problem with counselling is that, suffering from chronic anxiety, I get so worried about the appointment that by the time I get there I am a nervous wreck which is totally counter-productive.

[Sweetpea]

That is awful for you, anxiety is a very hard thing to deal with. S x x x x

[mrmoody]

Dear Ducky, I am so sorry to hear your terrible loss, I cant imagine what you are going through. I myself am grieving for the loss of my relationship last year, we also had two small children together who I havent seen in over ten months now and my ex partner doesnt want me to see them. She moved on from me quickly apparently found a new partner four months after splitting with me. I feel I am going through grief rather than depression, I have had depression on and off since I was 17. This feels so much worse and no idea when I will get better even though I am on medication. I just wanted you to know your in my thoughts and I do understand to a degree what your going through although not as severe as your situation. Alex

[Catbrian]

Thinking of you, ((((((((((((Ducky)))))))))))