Family with no support

[Catbrian]

Well, I've had a rubbish day....stress, stress and more hellish stress.  I wanna hide   ()(  I think I've already said that I want to return to live in Glasgow.  I came to live in London 15yrs ago and, in many ways, it has become my home.  I've never settled in the one place for so long.     :tv:

Really, I want to be back around my very small family unit, as they are all getting on a bit....my parents and an elderly aunt are needing a little support.  To be truthful, if it weren't for them, I'm not altogether certain I would wish to actually live in Glasgow again.  In some ways, it almost feels like a step backwards.  Something hasn't been feeling good about it, but this could just be down to the state of my mental health at the moment.

I've been looking at a property near my parents and yesterday they went to view it for me.  Unfortunately that plan didn't go well.....we were all totally stressed.  I refused the property and somehow the whole business feels so cumbersome....I feel I could really do without this.  Perhaps it's just a dream and nothing more.  Maybe I shouldn't be making such life changing decisions while the depression is at an all time low

I'm asking myself how I'll manage to go and view properties when I am having problems travelling on public transport?  Where will all the money come from? What if I make the wrong move?  Will I be strong enough to take on the upheaval?

I feel very alone with all this.  Family don't like the idea of me being mentally unwell and never want to discuss it or even let me voice it.  Everyone seems to focus on me just getting there.  Somehow, if I'm serious enough, I'll just make it all happen....pull myself together....all that kind of self centered rubbish.  Yes....and pink pigs will fly...or dance   :ele:

The bottom line is, I am uneasy and I think I might put everything on hold until at least I start to feel better.  I've got some medication problems which I hope to be sorting over the next few weeks with my new Psychiatrist.  Until then I have decided... while writing this.....I will take a bit of a back seat.

It hurts a lot that none of the family are in the least bit supportive with my mental health issues but there is nothing I can do to change that. I have tried talking to them.  Today I wrote an email to my sister voicing my disappointment.  Ever since I spoke to her 2 weeks ago about the full extent of my "issues" she ran in the opposite direction....stopped calling, no emails or texts........silence.   I am slowly concluding that we are a family who cannot support one another through our difficult times....we are indeed an odd bunch   :haiL:

Sorry, I am rambling here   *(*  off loading a very stressful couple of days!  Thanks all for listening

[Sweetpea]

 _+_ for you Cat. Some people find mental illness scarey and normally I think its because they don't understand it.  I feel you are doing the right thing in waiting until you feel more stable before making any decisions about moving.

S x x x x

[Zaf]

Some people find it very difficult to cope with other's mental illness let alone help Cat, I know that doesnt help you but it seems to happen over and over again with all types and ages of people

It would seem sensible to put things on hold or at least slow them down till you can get up there yourself to view some properties and cope with the hassle of sorting out the finance and the actual logistics of moving imo but life has a habit of something happening that triggers an action or reaction so you may find at some time in the future the decision will almost be made for you.

I too am following a course of action that I would rather not because I feel I ought to because of family ties, it makes me feel trapped at times which doesnt help my depression but I do understand why you feel you ought to go back to Glasgow even though you feel its a step backwards

Z xxx

[Catbrian]

Thank you shaz and zaf.....what you both say is very true.  It feels nice to have understanding

[Sweetpea]

Thats the joy of this forum, we do understand  !+_.

S x x x x

[Zaf]

I was just going to say the same thing  _+_

[tharidler]

hi catb
i'm so sorry you are having such a hard time at the moment the illness is bad enough without family not wanting to accept it or understand it i realise it is hard for people who have never suffered to understand how bad it can be but that doesn't help when you are suffering take your time at the moment to make your choices i hope things get a bit easier for you

[KateG]

Thinking of you Cat  !+_