Making excuses

[willows]

I have just sent another email to my mum with lots of rubbish reasons why I can't come and visit her in her new home that she moved to in March. She now lives 120 miles away but I can't tell her I can't even make it 2 miles in to the town centre without feeling panicky let alone 120 miles. The only time I can cope with leaving the house and feel reasonably ok is to drive to work. I don't have a particularly close relationship with my mum....I suppose if I did, it might not seem so difficult. What worries me is that I seem to be making more and more excuses not to see people....I am pushing people away. I live in hope that this depression will go away one day but I am worried that I won't have any friends left by then.

[Zaf]

I know exactly what you mean, could you tell your mum you're ill and cant travel that far?  My mum doesnt believe in depression so the only way I could get through her to make her understand I couldnt do things was to tell her I had nervous exhaustion

[willows]

 

[Sweetpea]

I am glad that by putting it down in writing you can see some reasons for why you feel like you do, writing things down often helps.

By the way I love your avatar  ()_.

S x x x x

[willows]

Hi Shaz, I just removed my last post because I didn't like what I had written....it sounded like I was bitter towards my mum when really I should be more understanding about her depression.....

[Sweetpea]

I understand, but you have your issues too, I have to say when I read it it didn't sound too me like you were bitter about it  !+_.

S x x x x

[willows]

Maybe 'bitter' was the wrong word. I thought it sounded like I was blaming my problems on my mum when, in reality, my problems are of my own making....I can't blame other people for my inability to cope with life and my own failings.

[Sweetpea]

I know what you are saying, its this awful illness thats called depression that makes us feel as we do.  I am sure its not your own making Willows.

S x x x x