Hi everyone… At last, I have the time to introduce myself. Every time I sign onto the website, I find myself poking around other peoples entries and have little time left to write something myself.
My name is Cat. I’m a 49yr old Scotsman, living in London. I have personal experience with depression ever since secondary school days. Twelve years ago, my Psychiatrist gave me a diagnosis of ‘Depression secondary to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder’. Unfortunately, over the years, I neglected both my mental and physical health. There is always a price to pay.
My PTSD diagnosis came because of a very bad experience I had at the hands of an individual who is now a well known serial murderer in Scotland. A book of my experiences with this psychopath was published a couple of years ago. Perhaps it is something I will explore in greater depth at a later date, probably under the “journals†section.
In recent years, my issues have evolved into something more complicated. In addition to long bouts of suicidal depression, accompanied by severe exhaustion, I also experience voices, hallucinations, paranoia and agoraphobia. Lately I have been disagreeing with my Psychiatrist. Thankfully, he agrees with my request to review my mental health with a new Psychiatrist. I am looking forward to meeting her and developing an understanding of a new diagnosis.
One of my biggest friends in life has also been my most fearsome foe. Regular binges on drugs and alcohol have contributed to my precarious mental state. Long term use of anti-depressants was having little benefit. Recently I came off Citalopram and started Quetiapine as a mood stabiliser. Now I actually miss the Citalopram as a sleeping aid and hope to be back on it next week. It probably has more of a positive effect on my mood than I originally gave it credit.
I am now clean from all drugs, except a little cannabis each night. I seldom drink alcohol AND I gave up smoking cigarettes 10 months ago. No longer experiencing the drug induced depressions and hangovers are having a positive effect on my mental health. The Quetiapine has also contributed a great deal to reigning in my ‘mentalness’. It has quietened my mind to the point of feeling a little bit unnerved…. it feels like something is missing!
I am still on a low dose of Quetiapine, 375mg, and probably need it increased. The voices and hallucinations are starting to stir again and paranoia is never far away. I prefer to stay indoors in the safety of my own company with my two cats and Jack Russell. I force myself to go out with the dog twice a day, but I always have to go at the same time every day to a choice of only three routes. Anything else causes too much paranoia and stress and defeats the reason why I force myself get out in the first place.
I hope this gives an idea of who I am. I love to write and look forward to future sharing. Please introduce yourself – it will help to know who I am speaking too!!
