When its more than depression...

[Lil Miss Lost]

Well... i so wish id worked out my life pattern a long time ago! Have always known theres been something wrong and it wasnt until i sat down and worked out when id been happy/sad and when i have irritable mood swings and what i do in that time that i noticed a pattern, the doctor upped my sertraline antidepressant to 150mg and i went hypomanic! By that time i was completely convinced that either the antidepressants had worked but if i crashed then id know they hadnt, so i had a bloody fun 5 days until i woke up sunday morning an irritable moody cow.

Havent been able to drive lately coz of the diazepam so sat there trawling articles of depression, mood swings, excessive happiness, got books from the library i was manicly reading and was so convinced i had bipolar 2, a friend had mentioned it to me before and when i read the books it was like reading my life story, so today i go off expecting my first councillor meeting, instead it was a properly trained psychologist, i had already worked out my highs and lows and i didnt say anything about bipolar, just about my life, it was somewhat of a relief when he said i have bipolar 2, all my family havent believed me so im still somewhat on my own with just a name and some medication but at least now i know im not crazy, good luck to you all ill still keep coming back to see how your getting on and if you feel its more than just depression then do some self research and keep insisting on help take care all and thankyou for your help and advice :)

[lightenup]

Hi Lil miss lost, at last you have got someone to listen to you.  As you say you had worked it out yourself.  Everything get so frustrating, and I am have been told my anger which comes in the forms of terrible nightmare on occassions is really disturbing.  I am so glad for you that you been diagnosed and you can be helped now good luck onwards and upwards. xx

[Lil Miss Lost]

Thanks lightenup, i know it makes you cross that you pretty much have to work everything out for yourself and then go in with examples! my doctor pretty much laughed me out of her office when i mentioned bipolar 2, there really needs to be an awful lot more help out there for people, if i hadnt trusted my own instincts and worked it out im not sure i ever wouldve been diagnosed, they need clear proof it seems, well my head was all over the place so its definetly worth keeping a mood diary tracking, moods, anxiety level of depression, excessive happiness, confidence, sleep patterns and energy.

Im going to pretty much have to give up smoking, alcohol the lot so got alot of changes to be made over next few months, bit of a shame really as i quite like my highs, i really hope they help all of you, where are you at at the moment lightenup has your gp been anymore help, you can always message me if you need to chat im on other social sites too, so grateful for you all for helping me when i had no one else to talk to that if i can do anything to help or just listen i will :) still feel fairly lonely even now iv got a diagnosis, depression is the worst thing ever and i hope you all find your answers x

[lightenup]

Hi Lil Miss Lost

Feeling quite well today, had to go out last nights with hubbys past work mates and wives, I have been so traumatised all week, and didn't want to go unfortunately the alcohol helped  (this makes me quite fearful).  I know its only one night but I can understand how one could get addicted.

Visit to Dr last week in tears again, over the nightmares, so have to take sleeping tablets to get the rest.  He has also upped the meds to 20mg Cipralex.  Had a bit of a calamity on Weds, Phychiatrist rang to change my appointment, hubby wasn't happy my computer locked me out and I had some  important work to do.   The panic was just awful, my brain just fully blocked.  Anyway 4 hours after I settled i just went in and fixed the problem in 5 mins..................how can you explain why this happens.

Anyway feeling quite well today, but hubby has to come shopping with me as the brain fog means I forget the important things I need.  My best friend is coming over tonight for dinner (getting M&S dine in menu) plus a little extra as I very tired don't think the alcohol and drugs mix at all.  Will keep you posted how are you keeping.  You can e-mail me directly.  Thankyou for all your support it means a lot.

[Lil Miss Lost]

Hiya Lighten up 
Glad you are feeling good today! I know what you mean about not wanting to go out, and the alcohol definetly helps!! Im having my last night of drinking tonight as im not on any medication until next week, iv stopped taking the diazepam too for the time being, as ever since i stopped the antidepressants, iv been having awful real life nightmares!! I really feel for you, these were so vivid i could have sworn they were true and so dark and bad aswell! Am glad they have given you sleeping tablets now, hopefully the nightmares will stop! Am trying to take each day at a time and be positive and try not to think too much about things which is quite hard, it hadnt really hit me about the bipolar but it did the other day and i just cried! I still dont know what im going to do with my life once im on the right medication, so for now iv just decided to try and keep busy and alternating between things so i dont get bored and then think too much and lose hope again!

Haha i know what you mean about the shopping aswell, i went today and was just stood there staring at things, other people seemed so loud and i couldnt concentrate on anything, really not with it, luckily my boyfriend was there as i did start to panic!! Sometimes i can think clearer than others, i am trying to learn to walk away from things if they annoy me and a bit later they dont seem as bad! Annoying when you have lots to get done though or if you are in the middle of a supermarket! Hope you have a good night with your friend tonight, sounds like fun :) Ill email you directly aswell after today, hope you carry on feeling better than you have been, thankyou and speak soon :)