Hello everyone.
over the last few days ive been feeling very low, just as if I can feel depression just slowly floodimg back into my life. Ive been fine for weeks, months-ive been on fluoxetine for over a year now, amd am receivimg therapy from a great therapist. But just the last few days,.ive felt like making myself sick and cutting myself. I have not cut myself since last july and swore on my mums life that I wouldnt do it again.
fifteen minutes ago, I tried to make myself sick but failed. Ive got a knife beside me on the table but keep thinking about my mum if I did cut myself. My housemates are dowmstairs,drinking and generally having a good laugh. They didnt notice I hadnt said a word for half an hour, and I just feel very alone.
i just want someone to listen but I dont want to call my family and cause an uproar. Unfortunately I dont see my therapist until monday so I cant sort things out that way.
i just want to be happy and fine and am sick of getting these relapses because im meant to be getting better and eventualy want to come off my tablets but how can I if I keep getting like this? Im not sure what im asking for, just need to vent to people that can understand. Thank you for anything you have to say or advice. Sorry this is a long post.
