Author Topic: It's time  (Read 7093 times)

pinkcasi

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Re: It's time
« Reply #30 on: May 25, 2012, 09:39:17 AM »
well i did the last time and my dr got the receptionist to call me to ensure i got an appt with the same dr, but that's 2 weeks away, and that dr is off till next week, i should be stronger really and tell the receptionist that it's urgent but i just feel like im being a drama queen, plus i cant be the only person at that surgery struggling, they cant have all of us flagged can they.

Zaf

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Re: It's time
« Reply #31 on: May 25, 2012, 01:00:57 PM »
Tell them you're suicidal and if you ont get an appointment today you'll call 999

Z xx
Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture your heart.

staralfur

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Re: It's time
« Reply #32 on: May 25, 2012, 10:42:39 PM »
Hi how are you?

I've been reading this with great interest as it struck quite a chord with me. It wasn't that long ago I was suicidal myself.
I just felt I needed to tell you that I too had completely given up on life, and had a number of failed attempts under my belt and increasing paranoia.

When I was brought before my gp though.....not my choice....even though I was completely honest with her that I wanted to die, I wasn't sectioned.
I was told that I was a danger to myself...mainly due to the paranoia, so she told me to go voluntarily to the hospital. I have to say, it was the best move I ever made. I had a complete break away from everything and everyone and my brain could go on shutdown knowing no one could get to me and I could just be alone....no pretence of being happy.

I just wanted to say that even though I had failed attempts and a plan of what I was going to do that afternoon, I was not sectioned....but I did go voluntarily.

Please take care

Beetzart

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Re: It's time
« Reply #33 on: May 25, 2012, 11:34:11 PM »
When I have felt severely suicidal and lost all hope I always imagine I would get fobbed off at hospital.  What happens? 

staralfur

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Re: It's time
« Reply #34 on: May 26, 2012, 07:46:16 AM »
Ok, it was a mental health unit....which was the bit that freaked me out initially. I'm sure we all feel the sane that its everyone else that is wrong and not us. But after the consultation with the crisis team which happened within a couple of hours of seeing the gp, I was told which hospital would accommodate me.
I don't remember much about arriving there.....but you are assigned a nurse who is with you 24hours a day. Wherever you go, they go. You don't have to speak to them, they don't talk to you, but its just to monitor the 'threat' level you are to yourself.

Having them there was great though, it was like talking to a wall that could listen. I told them everything, and it felt great to finally shed years of problems.

After an initial period, the one on one watch over you is stepped down till eventually a mutual trust is achieved and you can really have alone space.

There is daily sessions with a counsellor.....this is also to try and recognise the help you need when you leave. So they monitor the meds to make sure you are on the right ones, and they try and get the required help for you when you leave.

I know I have gone on a bit there....but I hope it has been of some use. I was petrified of a mental health ward, but it was nothing like my imagination was making out.

It's not a magic cure, but its the start of real help. I'm not better, which is why I'm on here! But the suicidal tendencies are now just passing thoughts that I'm confident I couldn't act upon. And should it get really bad, I have a phone number for the crisis team who will always be there to help.

I really hope that helps you all who are as scared and paranoid as I was.

staralfur

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Re: It's time
« Reply #35 on: May 26, 2012, 07:57:10 AM »
Oh, sorry, I meant to also say that the doctor explained that going voluntarily meant that it doesn't stay on your medical records, where as being sectioned does.

So it was a relief finding that out too.

pinkcasi

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Re: It's time
« Reply #36 on: May 27, 2012, 12:38:59 PM »
Well it's Sunday and im still here, my plan was to do the deed last night but i had a good day yesterday i dont know how i feel aboutit to be honest, even when i feel good i still want to go that's how i know it's right when im thinking clearly and calmly and it still feels like a good idea.
Im petrified that i'll end up in hospital either by force or being convinced to go by choice, how would i explain that away, it feels like my only choices are to just go and be done with it or to keep it to myself and battle on.

Zaf

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Re: It's time
« Reply #37 on: May 27, 2012, 12:47:19 PM »
It sounds as though you've kept your depression to yourself  for the most part, isnt it time to admit you are ill and get the help you need from family and friends?

Z xx
Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture your heart.

pinkcasi

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Re: It's time
« Reply #38 on: May 27, 2012, 06:43:08 PM »
Well my family and friend know ive suffered in the past they just dont know im suffering just now, my mum thinkis i came through it all and im 'normal' now i dont want to ruin that for her, plus if they knew they would think it's my boyfriends fault because of the timeing but i stupidly came off of my meds at the same time he moved in that's why.
I really dont know what to do, do i go to work tomorrow? I just tried to call the dr's my Dr is fully booked for Tuesday, so do i see someone else or do i wait for my dr, do i go to work tomorrow? i feel ok at the moment but the thought of going to work makes me feel sick.

Zaf

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Re: It's time
« Reply #39 on: May 27, 2012, 06:51:40 PM »
It might be time to start to tell them, perhaps not the full whammy but that you're not 100% at the moment.

If work makes yoy feel like thst I wouldnt go in and get an an emergency appointment with whatever doctor is available

Z xx
Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture your heart.

whiteadder

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Re: It's time
« Reply #40 on: May 27, 2012, 07:17:41 PM »
You have to be comfortable with what you reveal to others but personally I found that hiding the truth from loved ones was neither positive nor sustainable.

If you feel you need help, you really should get that help. Work is of course important but your health is more important :)

:)
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti

Sweetpea

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Re: It's time
« Reply #41 on: May 27, 2012, 08:52:39 PM »
I personally think you should take the day off work and see the emergency dr tomorrow.  If necessary you can always make a further appointment to see your own dr afterwards.

S x x x x
No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

pinkcasi

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Re: It's time
« Reply #42 on: May 27, 2012, 10:00:14 PM »
to be honest i think youre right the thought of going back makes me feel sick and know ive bitten the bullet and have been off (thurs afternoon and fri) i dont really want to go back just to go off again, i feel better after being off but i know it's short lived i think the sensible thing to do is to see someone tomorrow if i can and get them to sign me off and up my dosage, i'll probably keep the whole suicide plan to myself until i see my own dr.  that's ok isn't it it's not skiving is it?


CharleysAngel'

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Re: It's time
« Reply #43 on: May 27, 2012, 10:05:09 PM »
Of course its not skiving pinkcasi, your ill so your taking time off. Really feel for you, hope you manage to see a doctor tomorrow and get some help xx
Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough I don't know why;'
Lana Del Rey

Sweetpea

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Re: It's time
« Reply #44 on: May 27, 2012, 10:51:55 PM »
It certainly isn't, you need to see a dr to help you get well.  If you don't feel happy telling the dr tomorrow about you suicidal thoughts please make an appointment to see your own dr as soon as you can.

Let us know how you get on tomorrow.

Take care

S x x x x
No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.