Oh so low ..

[mamalou]

Don't really know why I am writing this as nothing changes.

Today I am sooooo low. But then I think to myself, I always feel low !? I am so utterly depressed that I am suffocated by isolation and urgent persistant thoughts.  I am taking my medication and getting fatter and fatter and fatter and feeling no benefit.

Very very very low. Detatched. Isolated. Desperate. Hopeless.

Sorry everyone - I can't really talk to anyone at home so am here just having a splurge.............   Â£*$

[DarylR]

i know u probly have thought of this but have u considered going to your doctor and explaining the situation? maybe there is another form of medication u can have?

[Zaf]

having a splurge sometimes is what this place is all about &*(

[mamalou]

DarylR - Thanks for your reply. I am currently receiving intensive support from the community mental health team. I see my psychiatrist really regularly and I also see my GP twice a week. I have a care co-ordinator and am also undergoing a therapy formulation. All that said, I am not always very good at telling them how things are, according to my psychiatrist, there is nothing more that can be done for me as far as medication is concerned - I am taking "the best combination" !

This episode of depression has been going on for more than 2 years with no respite  

[Micky]

Splurge away! I think this place is great to vent. I think my friends must be sick of me by now so I come here.

[mamalou]

My friends and family must be bored too !  But to be fair probably not as bored as I am .......................... yawn !

I cannot believe how this illness saps away at everything within me.

[DarylR]

mamalou
you must have a better mental health team where u live than i do, do you have to pay for your counselling and care?
 basically all i was referred to was CBT group therapy but i feel i require something else like one on one counselling which there is no such service on the nhs in my area so i would have to pay out for it.

i hope things pick up for u soon anyhow

[mamalou]

I do have a good mental health team but they only really showed up when I needed continuous crisis care due to my suicidal thoughts and behaviours. Then it all seemed to kick in. I certainly don't pay for any of it and the level of care and support I receive is fairly high.  Sorry you don't seem to be able to access the care you need. Maybe you could ask your GP about the different levels of care in the mental health sector and ask to be referred accordingly ? Sorry, not sure what else to suggest. x