some times I just want someone to talk to

[vix]

Hi im new to all this and have joined because i have very lonely times when i need someone to talk to and I feel no one around me understands. I have suffered from anxiety and depression for about 13 years off and on but it got alot worse over the past few years. I also developed OCD and along with  this and veriouse other problems my depression causes me, i felt it necessary to brake up my marriage to set my husband free as i felt I was making his life misserable. I bitterly regret this action now and although Im happy he is happy I lost my best friend my life support and now find my self terribly lonely. Ive only finally admitted I had a problem after we had split as then I felt I had a reason to go to the doctors and say I was depressed. Befor this i used to think i was just weird and people would say "what has she got to be depressed about" I now wish i had got help sooner and feel constant guilt and regret for the way things have turned out. ive not found meds that help yet and am feeling very low at the min.
vx

[Sweetpea]

Welcome to the forum vix,

We understand depression here and everyone is helpful and understanding. 

Its quite normal to feel guilty when our illness affects our loved ones, I am so sorry it caused the break up of your marriage.  Depression is not choosy and can hit anyone. 

Hopefully you will find the forum helpful, I know it has helped me a great deal.

Take care

S x

[vix]

Thank you i hope so too. i get times  when im alone in my house especially after dark when I just need somone to talk to. I think I will find this helpful as this is when i think some of the worst things possible ive found myself searching the internet for suicide methods and ways to harm myself but just thoughts at the min.
somtimes i wish i could switch off my brain coz the thoughts are somtimes too painfull to bare.
Im glad there are people who understand.
xx

[Sweetpea]

You really should also tell you gp that you are having these thoughts.  So that he/she is aware of how bad you are feeling.  My dr referred me to our local Mental Health Team, they were very good as they deal with this all of the time.  Maybe you could also ask about referall to have counselling and CBT.

S x

[vix]

I am seeing a councelling and at the moment but am currently doin week plans i am finding it diffucult to stick to these tho as have very low motivation a cronic tiredness. I will deffinatly discuss my thoughts with her tho as I think overcoming thoughts is on my next session. somtimes i think i need my own personal councelor with me 24/7 just to help me day to day i wish this was possible lol.
thanks for the advice and the support
xx

[Got]

Hello.

Firsty, I am very sorry to hear about what has happened.

Secondly, I am particularly interested/concerned about your OCD. Especially after reading what you posted on the OCD thread.

Considering the severity of your OCD you need CBT specifically designed for OCD without any shadow of a doubt. Have you received this? Are you on a waiting list for CBT?

What is your knowldge of OCD and CBT? Knowledge is the key to over coming this disorder, and I promise you that you can get over this using the appropriate techniques.

Unfortunatly OCD is very misunderstood, even among GPs and often so called CBT therapists. For this reason sufferers often don't get the appropriate treatment.

If you need any information regarding CBT or exposure therapy please let me know, as I am able and willing to help. I know what you are going through and I also know what I am talking about.

Love Steve XX

[vix]

Hi stevie thanks for replying. i actually thort i was just weird with my ocd and kept it hidden from everyone except for my husband for a long time and he was actually a saint to put up with it allthought alot of people wouldnt have.
i was ashamed at first until i realised it was more comman than i had 1st thought and it was also connected to my depression which i knew i had suffered from for many years.
I told the doctor and they put me on sertaline which actually made me feel my ocd was a little better but i have fallen back in to my old ways once they changed me on to venlifaine. i wud be totally happy if i could live in a germ free bubble but sadly thats not posdible.

I am receiving talking therapy with a councelor but have not yet really descussed my ocd. They have mainly so far just tried to deal with my depression and low mood. Im not sure if the therapist im seeing offers cbt i will ask. I have heard or it but dont really know that much about it any information you could oass on would be great.
another point after reading about bipolar on the forum i am now wondering weather I might have that. I dont want to complicated things but for me it would explain alot infact it sounds just like my life massive highs ans extreme lows with not very much normal inbetween. I dont know if im just looking for excuses now for things ive done wrong in the past :/

thanks again xx

[Got]

Right. This is exactly as I expected. Yet another example how a sufferer of severe OCD has been compeltly let down by the medical system.

Please pay attention very carefully to what I am saying. I know what I am talking about.

You have OCD, and it is also quite severe. Talking to your councellor will do you no good whatsoever OCD wise. Infact, I wouldnt be suprised if he/she has the faintest clue how to treat it. Taking sertraline will not make your OCD disapear. You ABSOLUTLY MUST go back to your GP, explain that your OCD is wrecking your life. You spend a serious quantity of time engaging in rituals. Insist that you need CBT for OCD specifically. Not general CBT, not CBT for depression, CBT specifically for OCD. You absolutly must go onto the waiting list as soon as possible. If your GP does not agree, then tell me so, and I can put you in touch with people who can help you, as it is their job to offer free adviceand support for OCD suffers such as yourself.

Please, please, please, follow my advice as soon as possible. I've lost count of the amount of times I have told this to people, only for them to come back a few months later complaining that their OCD is no better, because they stuck with a counsellor instead of geting CBT for OCD.

So YOU MUST do this as this will enable to to get your life back. Currently you are not receiving adequate treatment, and without this you will not get better. Your depression and anxiety will not improve much until you start treating your OCD. Your won't think your way out of OCD, you need CBT for that I assure you.

Secondly, get the book 'brain lock.' Its on amazon. Buy it and read it. It should help you alot.

Also, you need to learn about the four steps. This is something you can do to help you break the destructive cyclical pattern of obsession, compulsions and anxiety. You should have been told about these four steps all ready. I am guessing that you havn't. Here is a video that will help you:

http://www.ocduk.org/four-steps-video

I urge you to follow my advice, you can conquer this and get your life back, but you will not unless you get CBT for OCD.

Also, whilst I am busy lablasting you GP. You have complained of depression...why on earth has your doctor not enquired as to whether or not you experience heighs? If this is a concern for you then you need to disccuss this with your GP....but first...demand your OCD CBT.

Any questions please ask.

Steve XXXX

[Buttercup]

Welcome to the forum

We are all here whenever you need to talk.

I have no personal experience of OCD, but agree with Steve that you need treatment that are specific rather than general.

Xxx

[Zaf]

Hi and welcome, everyone will help as much as they can.

Z xx

[vix]

Thanks everyone i have made an appointment to see my gp on wed so ill keep you posted xx

[Zaf]

I hope it goes well for you

Z xx

[Got]

Hi,

remember your need CBT specifically for OCD, dont let the GP fob you off with anything else, it must be a CBT programme designed especially to treat your OCD. I keep repeating this because often people end up receiving inadequate treatment, thinking that if they just stick at it thing will get better. Unfortuantly, they do not.

Your GP has already let you down by prescribing you with setraline without putting you on a CBT waiting list, so dont take any nonsense from him/her.

Steve X

[Sweetpea]

Glad you have an appointment, hope its goes ok and you get some help that you deserve.

S x

[KateG]

Hi Vix and welcome, hope your appointment goes ok

Kate x