I Have the perfect man who would do anything for me, we have a flat together we both work what more could i want i feel down today actually suppose thats why i havent done anything with myself, need to let go of the past thats my problem i think. it hurts me to think of things ive gone through it really does, sometimes i wonder how the hell i can keep going. sometimes i wanna go back to my old friends and take amphetimine and forget everything, walk the streets without a care in the world at least then my mind would be blank! my mums doing a dinner on sunday (why) i am not looking forward to it, she wants her kids round no partners, playing the happy family (what for) i cant stand to be in the same room as her for to long let alone spend a whole afternoon with her she is opionated and it annoys the hell out of me. i would rather just stay at home and spend my sunday in the comfort of my own home, i feel there is at hugh wedge in the family and its always been the same so sitting round a table isnt going to make it better. if only i could take my partner he breaks the atmosphere that way i would maybe manage an hour with her! sometimes i wished we had a good relationship seen as though i ant got my dad but then i remember bits from my childhood and my head just fills back up with resentment again. i feel angry at her she has failed me and my siblings, if it werent for me bringing my brother and sister up god knows what would of happend, i had no teenage life and then she got back with my dad and that happend and that messed my head up all over again. failed school, couldnt hold a job down, dosed up on anti-depressants at 24, what kind of a life is this! he listen to my friends moan about their parents and i just wanna tell to shut their mouth and open their eyes, it could of been worse!
