didnt go to work today, couldnt be bothered to get out of bed and face the world. hate it when i feel this way but i cant stop it, so another day wasted stuck in a rut of miserable thoughts and the question of WHY? people say think positive...........whats to think positive about the fact your own father raped your younger sister. i suppose the people who say think positive dont see the reason why i feel this way written on my face but it still frustrates me. everyday i go back and retrace the steps of that night and cant help but blame myself of the thought that if i had of just got out my bed to go and get a drink of water maybe i could of stopped what was happening down those stairs, but i fell back to sleep because i couldnt be bothered and go and get that drink. he was my dad, i was his daughter why would he do such a thing to my sister. my sister is not his daughter she has a different dad but we share the same mum, this happend in 2005 yes that may seem a long time ago and people probaly think i should move on and forget about it but i cant ive tried and it just keeps pulling me back!!
