My misses has post natel depression

[Chrisjefc]

Well hello forum. I really don't know where to start with this there is so much involved. Me and my finance of 5 years had a little boy 8 months ago, one of the best days of my life I was with the women I loved and had just had an amazing little boy. Unfortunately it's went all down hill from there the little man was prem and was in special care for 10 days. So I never got to see much of him and even less when I went back to work. So it was 10 days till I got to take him home. Once home my fiancé insisted on doing pretty much everything for the baby (we will get to that later) and she breast feed him so I never got a look in there. Until all of a sudden she decided I wasn't doing anything and I should do night feeds and she would express.

So that's how it went me doing the last feed of the night so she could get to bed early, she was so over protective of the him it was unreal, things like asking me to go check he was breathing and stuff. So anyway she was diagnosed with post natel anxiety and things went ok for a while for her. Unfortunately I then think I hit the road to ruin I started getting bad chest pains to the point I thought I either had cancer or was having heart attacks. I really worked myself up but kept it to myself but all I could think about was that I was going to die and leave my kids I finally plucked up the courage to go to my Gp and get sorted. After X-rays and ecg's and full going over I was found to be fit as a fiddle  since I got the all clear I have felt fine (all in my head) but during this time my misses was suffering too leading up to 3 weeks ago where she left me we have been arguing almost constantly since, I know not good but I'm at the point where I'm just a wreak and think I might be having a breakdown or something.

I don't sleep at night and the odd time I fall asleep I wake at 5-6 and can't get back to sleep. I cry almost at the drop of an hat also. I broke down uncontrolaby at my mothers, the first time she has seen me cry. She has spoken to me today and tells me now she has been diagnoised with post natel depression and is going on a 6 week intensive course of counciling.

I really don't know what to do and I'm feeling very guilty now as well for not being there for her all I want to do is help but feel I also need to help myself.

Sorry to go on but has anyone been though this stuff before ? I have always been really strong and never suffered any sort of stress or anything before I just feel so alone right now not a good place to be.

Any reply appritiated

[Sweetpea]

The birth of a baby is a stressful time for both parents, I can understand your partner being over protective, I was the same when mine were born, I was aways checking that they were breathing.  Hormones go haywire etc.

Saying that people tend to forget the father sometimes, you have been through an emotional time with your partner, first becoming a father and then her dealing with post natal depression.

I am not a dr but it does sound by what you are saying that you may be dealing with depression.  Maybe the best thing would be to make an appointment with your gp and tell him/her how you have been feeling and explain what you have been going through.  Depression can affect men and women alike.

Hope this helps a bit.

I am sure others will help and advise where they can.

S x

[Chrisjefc]

hi thanks for the reply :)

after reading a few threads on the forum lastnight i decided i really needed to talk to someone. so this morning i made a very tearful phone call to my doctor after getting off the phone i broke down uncontrolably. Really cant go on like this

i am booked in to see somone @ 5pm tonight so hopefully on the long road to better things :)

[Sweetpea]

 &*( for you.  Glad you have made an appointment with your dr.  Try and be as honest as you can about how you have been feeling.  If its easier write a few things down to take with you so you do not forget.

If you can post and let us know how you get on.

Take care

S x

[KateG]

Hi Chris and welcome to the forum.

I agree with Shaz, from what you've said, it does sound like you're dealing with depression too. Well done for ringing your GP and I hope your appointment goes OK today. Be honest with your GP about how bad you feel, or write it down beforehand if you're worried that you won't be able to say what's wrong.

&*(

[gem]

Hi Chris,

Welcome to the forum :) I hope your Drs appointment went well -let us know

gem x

[Chrisjefc]

Hi all thanks for the reply. I'm unsure really if the doctor thinks I'm suffering but she has been great for me we had a talk which lasted an hour on the first visit and then a follow up vist on Monday. She really has been a massive help just to talk to someone has lifted a massive weight of my shoulders.

She seems to think I have stress and for the time being I have refused any drugs so I have another follow up appointment with her on tuesday next week. I have also found the number of a local counciler to maybe book in for a couple of sessions.

Hope you are all well and thanks for looking

Chris

[Sweetpea]

That sounds really positive, Hope things improve for you.

Take care

S x

[Rycing]

Hello.... &*( for you.
I know all about PND, having been there myself, big time. When you are in it, you just can't see. I thought my life was over. (my journal tells more)
My husband also suffered, but never sought help.....I'm convinced he was depressed as well. I just think it's harder for a man to acknowledge. I'm sort of surprised we are still together really, when I look at the storms we've weathered. I think it's amazing anyone does....it's a really difficult time. My son was early and in SCBU as well. It's very stressful and anxiety provoking.
Well done on taking those first steps and I'm glad you got an understanding G.P.

 :) x

[Ezel]

Sorry for coming late onto this thread.  Your partner has probably been protective of your son because he was premature as well as suffering with PND.  Naturally this will have affected you as well so little wonder you have been stressed  &*( .  It's okay for you to be honest with her about how you have been feeling as well.

[gem]

Glad things more positive :) You've been through a lot so take it easy and be nice to yourself x

[Chrisjefc]

Hi all. Well I decided to book into see a councillor and had my first session on Tuesday. And I have to say its one of the best things I ever decided to do. I had an hour free session and it lasted almost two hours!! I had a lot to say.. I found once I started I couldn't stop myself.

She was really nice, she didn't say much but things she did say hit home hard. I came out feeling like a different person an as mad as it seems carnt wait for next Tuesday!!!

I realised I had a few more issues that I let on and I'm looking forward to turning a fresh page of my life. 

[Pablo]

Good luck blue!!