Could really do with some advice?

[Holykimura]

How did it go with the crisis team Holykimura? Did you contact CAB too?

I actually didn't call the CAB as I talked to the crisis team. They were helpful and said that I needed to rest and get better before I start thinking of a Tribunual. I agreed I'm probably not in the best mental states to be taking my employers to court over issues that have led me to feel this way. Thanks for asking KateG

[Holykimura]

it's something worth remembering that a previous employer cannot .. or should not .. actually do that (if they are writing a reference, even if you weren't particularly good at your job,  they still have to write it in a positive way and pick out a persons strengths .. I know because I used to have to write them!)

I've just done a quick google to check that, and I think that might have been specific to the company I worked for, because even though they may not have been up to the job in that company we still wanted them to be able to get another job, so we always gave good references.  I think the legal standpoint is that they have to give a true representation, i.e. if you have actually worked to a satisfactory or high standard, they can't then say you weren't doing your job properly .. if they did that, then if you took them to court they would have to prove that they advised you in performance reviews that you weren't doing your job properly, and that would have to have been recorded.  I think the head would be foolish to give a false bad references because there is always the chance he could be taken to court over it.

Thanks for your advice JAE, I have also been told the same by others so that makes me feel better. My performance reviews have always been good and have moved up the pay spine as a result, so they could not use that against me. I'm contemplating going back and carrying on asking for support where needed with a view that if nothing gets done it plays into my hands as evidence against them, or they act on my concerns and something is done to help me, in a way it's a win win situation.

[Holykimura]

Hi guys,

I know I havnt been on here for a while, just been feeling better. I have had good break in France with my OH and kids. Anyway to cut a long story short I have phoned in sick today with a view to not go back to work. I am so confused right now because I don't know if I've done the right thing. My OH is really struggling with the fact that my health is up and down like a yo yo. Last night we were talking about me not going to work today and she started crying and that made me feel really guilty. I tried to explain that if I was going to quit work then I would be at my most vulnerable and that I would really need her support more than ever. She said that she was finding things really hard and that she felt all alone and had nobody to turn to. I tried to explain how much of an effort it is to do even the smallest things and that at times I would probably not be able to do as much as she expected. I am so scared that she will leave me, I know it sounds selfish but its my biggest fear. She always reassures me that I don't have to worry about her leaving me but I feel that it would only be a matter of time before she did. I want to just curl up in my blanket and wish all the worries away. I feel I am capable of hurting my family if I get angry and frustrated by this sickening illness. Even trying to talk to my children seems like a struggle, I just don't feel like being around them. I feel like throwing the towel in and even though I wouldn't kill my self at times it feels like the only option.
Quitting work seems like the only option for me to get better, but it also feels I'm walking away from a means of comfort and security for my family. I'm scared for my future, will I be able to find work elsewhere, what money will be available, will my children have to make do with second or third best ? I hope I'm making sense just really confused and feel alone

[Zaf]

You need to get your health sorted out Holykimura then you will be able to get, and keep, another job; you wouldnt be able tosupport your family at all if you ended up in hospital

Z xxx

[Holykimura]

Thanks Zaf, I know your right it's just the future seems really daunting right now, I hope that I can look back at some of my posts and wonder what all my worries were about.

[Zaf]

Its a huge decision as you have a lot of responsibilities but I think you need to get better so you have a good future to look forward to

Z xx

[Buttercup]

I feel exactly the same as you.  I love my children to bits and it really hurts me that I struggle to be around them.

I gave up my job at Christmas, I didn't really have a choice, I was so ill and have no idea how long it will take before I'm well enough to work again.  I worry about money constantly, but my husband keeps reassuring me.

Take care xxx

[KateG]

Don't make any snap decisions, concentrate on getting better first and then you can reassess what you should do about your job &*(

[Holykimura]

Thanks for the support guys xx

[Sweetpea]

I agree with above posts, you need to get well but try not to make any rash decisions.

S x x

[Beetzart]

I agree with everyone else.  Your health is much more important than a job.

[Holykimura]

Just tried to spend some time with my family, failed miserably

[Zaf]

Can we help somehow?

Z xx

[Sweetpea]

 &*(  for you.  We are here for you.

S x x