Really scared and struggling

[MooMoo]

Can't seem to shake these dark days I'm suffering with at the minute. It seems to be pushing a wedge between me and my fella and I'm really starting to worry that he's going to have had enough soon and walk out. He's mentioned before that hes finding It hard coping with my current illness state and sometimes feels more like a maid than a boyfriend. I don't want him to leave as I love him so much but I also don't want him to be unhappy cos of me.

My current medical situation isn't the best as I'm not able to do very much and can't leave the house alone etc, so I have to rely on my boyfriend and my family for help. Its killing me to see how pissd off he is and I don't know what to do as I can't shake this slump I'm in at the minute.

I just keep thinking everyone would be better off if I wasn't here anymore causing them All this agro.

[tharidler]

dear moo moo
i know from personal experience how hard it can be at times to break the cycle of depression and anxiety its also very hard on loved ones are you on medication or getting any help from your gp in the form of therapy are you ever able to talk to your boyfriend about how you feel i know this is not easy but it can help if those around us are able to understand some of what we go through and i am sure no one would be better of without you everyone here is really good with advice and support so please keep on reaching out

[FreyaD]

I don't really know what to say, but I didn't want to read and run..

I'm worried that I'm driving a wedge between me and my friends. I have been so horrible for the past 3 weeks but I really need them. I have so much anger in me atm that I'm worried I'm going to take it out on them and really hurt them.

 &*(

[MooMoo]

I know that feeling FreyaD I'm like that all the time at the minute, feel like I'm going to end up alone if this carries on and be very lonely.

Theridler - I am on medication for the depression and lots more for my medical conditions. I'm not currently set up for therapy as I don't feel ready for it. I do talk to my fella about some of the things going on in my head but not everything and I don't think I could do. Same goes about speaking to my family and friends just don't feel comfortable about it as I know what some of them will say and how others will react towards me and I can't deal with that either.

I feel like I'm in between a rock and a hard place!!