Thanks all,
for me the depression becomes a friend, because i am physically disabled as well when i get stressed it i get ready to fight or run and i can do nether, i just end upin a ball of tension,
when i pop my head out of my shell everyone come's running to grab a bit of the old me, then in half hour i am wasted, a new shirt and a shave and you look well comments make me feel like a fake, inside i am still empty,
i just want to shout and scream sometimes or go to the gym and punch the living &$%+e out of something, but physically i can not,
i am just mentally tired all the time, i would love to be physically exhausted again just for once that feeling i would love that feeling.
my recovery would be quicker and less painful emotionally if i could my body would just work a little.
this is why i topped up on meds to get that feeling, but all that happens is i get a little mobile then go into withdrawal so end up feeling &$%+ again,
My councilor does the gym for all there tension.
everyone just imagine you cannot move as well a you can, no fast response pain when you move and pain when you don't.
no get your self into fight or flight mode and try to feel it,
rabbit headlights.
LR