horrible thoughts

[tharidler]

hello everyone
i have been reading the posts and i'm sure like most people i feel there is a lot of common ground between us which helps to know you are not alone one of the things i have seen a few times recently is about "intrusive thoughts" and when i read about them they are very similar to my own but the thing is for me is i really do not understand them sometimes they can be innocent and just be disruptive ie i may be praying and i cannot compleat the prayer as sounds,voices and pictures can intrude almost like an annoying person when you are trying to get work done that is a simple example but i'm sure you get the picture the more shall i say hurtfull ones have the capacity to upset me quite a lot as they are horrible they can sometimes leave me scared or disgusted and can be both perverse and violent and leave me questioning my sanity as i'm scared that this is some dark side of me trying to break out but in life i'm neither violent or perverse so how do cope with them is there some underlying issue that i have yet to discover ? answers on the back of a postcard please

[Lol]

It would appear they're 'normal in the circumstances' tharidler?!

For me, mine are absolutely the opposite of anything I would ever do too and I think it's some kind of personal torture 'imagine if this happened what would you do' that we do to ourselves when we're depressed. I think in a way it's escapist.

very strange isn't it

[doublep]

I have horrible thoughts alot..

Either I think about a scenario of a loved one in an accident, or something I would do to myself, or just general hate towards everything.

It does scare me sometimes.

[Holykimura]

I have had disgusting thoughts too so you're not on your own. I am too embarrassed to say what they are on here but believe me they have been very sick to a point where I start questioning my role as a father, partner and Teacher. If it makes you feel better i spoke to specialists about this and apparently its quite common. I think its because we are more likely to think about our thoughts as naturally we are very defensive. If people who were not feeling depressed were to have these thoughts, they wouldn't think twice about them, we on the other hand can dwell on them to long.

[chilliconcarnage]

I have had disgusting thoughts too so you're not on your own. I am too embarrassed to say what they are on here but believe me they have been very sick to a point where I start questioning my role as a father, partner and Teacher. If it makes you feel better i spoke to specialists about this and apparently its quite common. I think its because we are more likely to think about our thoughts as naturally we are very defensive. If people who were not feeling depressed were to have these thoughts, they wouldn't think twice about them, we on the other hand can dwell on them to long.

What Holykimura says.
I have them daily. Mine are sometimes sexualy disgusting, very violent, sometimes just down right repugnant and weird. I have spoken to many professionals about them. They are all of the same opinion that its part of the depression/anxiety (mine im sure are more anxiety based..). We are weakened mentally therefore these thoughts (which most people have), become more troublesome and upsetting. Your not alone .

[Munchroom]

I get them too. Its only recently - after reading recent posts on here in fact - that I've realised I'm not weird or disgusting or disturbed. I would be ashamed to put in writing some of the thoughts I have had, they are truly horrible 

[doublep]

I am glad that we are not alone on this.

Although I still get concerned with myself.

When I start getting graphic, really really disturbingly graphic..

One the otherday was the usual driving scenario.. but I could actually see the crash in my head, in alot of detail.. and was like I was a 3rd party watching 

[Got]

Hi Tharidler. What you are describing is OCD. It is distinct from depression, and it does not follow that if you have depression, you have OCD. But, OCD can leave you depressed.

Everybody has intrusive thoughts, what distinguished people with OCD and people without it, is the way that OCD suffers respond to them. Someone without OCD will not analyse them, they may simply think 'yuck,' and then forget it. If you are attaching anxiety to the thoughts, you are questioning your sanity, and you are mulling over the thoughts for ages...well this is OCD.

I suggest the best thing you can do is go to the doctors and explain. It doesnt matter how messed up the thoughts are, they are just unwanted thoughts. You will not act on them, you will not turn into a paedophile etc etc. CBT therapy will help alot with these thoughts.

Please pay attention to my advice, as this is something I have 28 years of experience in. It will be very useful to you to learn the CBT techniques, it will improve you quality of life, and improve your anxiety and depression.

If you would like, I can give you instructions and advice on how to overcome OCD. It will decrease the thoughts a lot.

[tharidler]

hello everyone
first and foremost thankyou all very much for your replies my first thought is thank god i'm not alone in this. one of the things that did trouble me was the almost graphic in you face nature of these thoughts as doublep posted in the 3rd person. i think the idea of being in a weakened mental state as i am making it easier for these things to manifest makes a lot of sense to me.is it some sort of weird pressure relief valve going off in our heads i'm not really sure but one thing about it being linked to anxiety/depression does make sense of course being that we are all here because of these issues stevie suggested that it may be linked to ocd  and that is not something i had considered i have done  different therapies including cbt which i think has helped as i can function much better than i used to be able to in fact a year ago i was told that a long stay in a hospital unit was really looking necesary i managed to get beyond that and i'm sure cbt is to thank for that. stevie i would be interested in any ideas you may have and thank you once again for the responses as today i feel just a little bit less of a monster

[doublep]

So I've got ocd?

[Got]

The way you are responding and analysing these 'graphic thoughts' is OCD. CBT to reduce these thoughts and elimnate the anxiety you feel in response, will not be the same and CBT for anxiety or depression. To deal with these thoughts, you need CBT geared towards OCD.

Some tips:

You need to see this for what it is, it is not depression, it is OCD, and needs to be dealt with accordingly. You are not mad, not sick, not a muderer, a psychopath a paedophile or anything else. If you are, then you wouldnt be worrying that you are nuts. You have OCD. So, when a though comes into your head this is what you must do:

1. Recognise the thought and relable as being OCD. Do not try to resist the thoughts, do not try to suppress it...this will make it worse. Instead, allow the thought to be in your head. It is just a thought and nothing else. So allow the horrible graphic image to be in you head, as you should not feel guilty for this.

2. Try not to attach anxiety to the thought. It can be in your mind, but so what? It is just a meangless thought produced by OCD which is playing upon subjects you dislike.

This is what you should do to begin with. How frequently do you have the thoughts? Do they impair your daily routine?

Do you do anything to stop the thoughts? For example, do you perform an action, either mentally or physcially? This is an important question

[Got]

double P...I dont know your story, but tharidler seems to have OCD tendancies at least, possibly full blown OCD.

All people have intrusive thoughts, but they anxiety tharidler is describing suggests OCD.

[doublep]

Well judging by the similar explanations, it seems I could have abit.
I'll talk to the therapist next week.about it

[Got]

I should add, that many people think OCD is a trival thing. Many people think they are 'a bit OCD,' whereas in fact, it is a serious mental illness that can devestate the sufferers life. When you have intrusive thoughts, and or rituals and or ruminations to a degree bad enough to affect your life in a negative way, then you have a dissorder.

Fortunatly, for many its is treatable.

Tharidler, please see my above posts.

Steve

[Got]

DP, it could just be that you have a high level of neurotisicism.