Feelings.

[chilliconcarnage]

One part of my depression which I find most difficult to deal with (appart from the odd intrusive thought...which are grim) is the feelings I get. By this I'm talking about horrible 'Creepy' or 'Spooky' feelings. I can almost surely atribute these to the anxiety of depression (if you get what I mean). But they are horrible, and when mixed with Intrusive thoughts they make me feel like im a real bad person (which I know im not). I can only describe it as something similar to the moment before you go on the drop of a scary rollercoaster, or perhaps when you realise youve just deleted the whole of an assignment of work, that "Oh no" feeling.  Its quite an Alien feeling to me and something that (prior to my severe depression) I had never experienced before.
Does anyone else have any 'Feelings' that they think are Depression related that dont fit the "lists". As ive had a few that im not sure are depression or not?

 

[Lol]

one of the depresson/amxiety markers is 'a feeling of impending doom' and is often described and diagnosed as a panic attack. Could this be what you are experiencing?

[chilliconcarnage]

I dunno. Its not severe, but if I watch something on Tv or hear something which isnt pleasant such as a bad news story i get this horrible fear/sinister feeling in my chest. By sinister i dont mean that ive turned nasty, but just ....hmm well it does feel like an impending doom feeling but not an overwhelming feeling. Its just so weird and difficult to explain? Im off to see the Psychiatric nurse (local NHS mental health unit) at half 10 this morning so ill mention it to her.
Im sure its related to anxiety, as the Intrusive thoughts have been too regular recently..

[Munchroom]

It certainly sounds like it could be anxiety related....  I often find that if I see someone upset, even if I don't know them very well I get an awful feeling (resulting in symptoms of anxiety most of the time) that I have done something to cause it, even if my logical mind knows that this cannot be the case.

How did your appointment go? x

[Glen53]

It could also be that you dont want to see negative things as its 'too close to home' in what you are thinking. Kinda like a subconcious reminder of what you dont want to think.

If I see something terrible on the telly like someone getting run down or killing themself, I find Im subconciously putting myself in that position - almost like Im flirting with the idea for myself.

Its wierd, but i put it down to not feeling well and part of my disease.

[chilliconcarnage]

Glen, I think your right. Because I suffer Intrusive thoughts, then when I see something on Tv I feel like its me or that I must be capable of something like that due to the thoughts I have, which is irrational, so i just try to nrationalise it. I think its down to my fragile mental state.

Munchroom, The appointment went well. I spoke to the Psychiatric Nurse and told her about my thoughts. Its allways a weight of my mind when I open up to a professional as to how im feeling or what im thinking. She didnt even bat an eyelid and said that all people who dont even suffer from Intrusive thoughts get them now and then anyway, but as they arent fragile they just shrug it off straight away and never think about it again. Im on n anti anxiety medication (Buspirone 5mg 3 times daily) but to be honest I cant report any let up in my anxiety symptoms. She said she would speak to the Psychiatrist to see if i could try a different med. And apparently the waiting list ive been on for my therapy/CBT is starting to thin out so there is a space for me the end of Jan. Thanks for asking :)

[Munchroom]

It must have been a relief that she showed no real concern about these type of thoughts - I guess when we feel like this we do tend to over analyse everything so I suppose it makes sense.

I'm on sedative medication for my anxiety (Trazadone) and also an anti-phsycotic (Quietapine) all I can really feel is the sedative effect though! I guess theres a lot of fine tuning that needs to take place!

xx

[chilliconcarnage]

It must have been a relief that she showed no real concern about these type of thoughts - I guess when we feel like this we do tend to over analyse everything so I suppose it makes sense.

I'm on sedative medication for my anxiety (Trazadone) and also an anti-phsycotic (Quietapine) all I can really feel is the sedative effect though! I guess theres a lot of fine tuning that needs to take place!

xx

Yeah I think its about getting the right mix. I was prescribed Quietapine, but didnt take it as my Intrusive thoughst started to lessen. But seem to be more often now. I still have them in the cupboard just in case they are needed.