Hello.
I have been so preoccupied at keeping busy i havnt been on here for a while. But now i find myself with lots of stuff i need to do but cant do any of it again. You'd think id learn that driving myself forward with my eyes shut never works.
As i said in previous messeges on here (at least i think i have) iv had to move back in with my parents. Today was a bad day, my parents are going through difficulties and im the one who they come to to confide in. Im used to this as iv been my parents emotional crutch since i was old enough to remember.
Yet moving back into it is alot harder than i thought. Im no longer gettign the emotional abuse from my now Ex boyfreind. But i now have to shoulder the emotional weight of my family. I could tell them not to talk to me about these things, but my father suffers from depression and my mother is very stubborn. I just cant simply ignore their suffering, yet i know it has a detrimental effect on me.
But right now i feel so very lonely.
I have friends, yet they ask a lot from me emotionally, and let me down an awful lot.
I hate that i come on here for seems like a winge. And find it difficult to come on here and give encouragement to others because i feel so emotionally drained from all those in my life.
Im so tired of looking after everyone, and no one coming to my rescue, it actually hollows me out.
Im always the one in the closed off room crying and almost suffocating from makign sure im not heard. No matter where iv lived
