Some of the following may sound a bit depressing, but stick with it
2011 is coming to an end. It started badly and seemed to go downhill for everyone I know, including myself. I have found myself facing some terrible thoughts of suicide and self harm the likes of which i have never known my whole life. I felt like a thick fog decended upon me and blocked out everything that lit up my life. I wanted out and no matter how hard i tried to, i could not see any way out or anything that was good in my life. I felt alone. I felt scared. I felt unable to carry on in the darkness alone.
In November I typed depression into Google and found this forum, whilst sitting alone in my bedroom. I signed up and wrote a post on how i felt to perfect strangers with tears streaming down my face. It was the best thing i could have done.
I may still be in the worst depressive 'fog' i have ever known, but this forum has made me realise that Im not alone in the darkness
anymore and that there are others struggling too. I have learnt that if I reach out for help, there is always someone there to help me through and although we must all ultimately find our own way, we can help point each other in the right direction and even keep each other company through our worst thoughts.
At worst this thought makes me feel Im not alone anymore, and at best it gives me hope that there are others to help me to see the light in my life once again. This place has helped me to see the best in people once more and although i have a long way to go, I now have the fight in me to keep going until i have my life back. It may be tough, but i wont be beaten.
I realise there are some out there that are suffering over the festive period. To those who are struggling - you are not alone. Keep talking through the hard times and we can help each other through and give each other hope. I will be thinking of you all.
To those who have offered me help and support - a heartfelt thankyou. &*(
To all - I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a peaceful year in 2012.
$^$
