Hi all, my name is Glen.

[Glen53]

Hi all, just wanted to introduce myself as Im new to the forum.

As said my name is Glen and im 34 years old. I have suffered with a few bouts of depression over the years (anxiety based apparently) and Im now in what I would call the darkest hole i have ever been in. However, Im hoping that by talking to others on here, i can at least 'vent' some of the load that I cant seem to share with those closest to me, and beat this horrible condition once again.

Im also hoping to give back as well as hear advice from you - I have plenty of experience to draw on and i hope it can be of some help to someone out there who is suffering as I have.

I will post a brief account of my story on the forum somewhere relevant later - didnt want to start the first post with such a downer, but I seem to have managed that anyway! (sorry)

[Lol]

Hi Glen53. Welcome to the forum. Depression and anxiety bring with them awful symptoms of inner turmoil and hopelessness. Your description of a dark hole is one that we can all relate to and we are here to support you when you want to vent about it. You are not alone.

Take Care. Lol

[Glen53]

 It does help to know there are others out there who are battling with everyday life too. It makes the dark hole a little lighter when you realise there are others standing next to you in the dark

Thanks for your kind words.

A little more info on me:

I work as a rehabilitation assistant for the NHS. This involves helping people who suffer with MS, Stroke, Parkinsons and various other neuro illnesses to regain some independence when their symptoms threaten to limit their lives. It does tend to ground me when i feel hard done by with my own little problems, then see what these terrible ilnesses can do. That said, not even that thought seems to be pulling me up this time.

I have written a background on my experiences with depression here:

http://depressionforums.co.uk/dpf/index.php?topic=1017.0

I did not go into too much detail on the emotional side of it tonight - Im feeling a little fragile and seem to burst into tears at the least little thing atm. Not very manly really.

I hope that I can at least offer a little help to someone if there is anyone here suffering with the same conditions.

Thanks again. Its nice to know I have another safe place to retreat to from the safety of my bedroom.

G.

[dlg78]

Hi Glen and welcome.

I do hope joining here will help you in some way, I think it is very good to write down your thoughts and get/offer advice.

It's also good to just listen sometimes too.

Dave

[Glen53]

Thanks Dave.

I have already found some comfort in reading through the forum last night. As a result I seem a little more upbeat today. These happy feelings never seem to last these days, but Im enjoying it whilst its here!  :)

[Zaf]

Hi Glen and welcome :)

Are you taking any medication for your depression currently?

[Glen53]

Hi Zaf.

I have taken Citalopram before and I have just been restarted on it in the last day or two. I know how helpful the meds can be, but I always try to manage without first if I can. this time i realise I really need it, if only to keep me going until I feel stronger.

On that note I thought I would share a wierd experience that happened today. I had to go out to get my new Citalopram meds - didnt feel like venturing out to be honest, but I managed to get in the car and head out feeling very anxious and vunerable. As I was driving along the radio started to play " itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini" and I found myself grinning from ear to ear, and even at one point giggling away to myself! I havent smiled for so long and it felt so good. I dont even know why this happened - memories of Timmy Mallet perhaps or laughing at what a naff song it was - no idea, but I didnt care.

Whithin 10 minutes of getting home I was feeling down in the dumps again.

Sometimes I really dont get this condition. Its so random and bizzare.

[Zaf]

Hi Glen, having been on it before you'll know it takes a couple of weeks or so to kick in so hopefully when it starts taking effect you'll see an improvement, I cant say I've ever had a fit of the giggles while being depressed but at least it gave you a few lighter moments during the day :)

[Lol]

Hi Glen, those moments are rather bizzare aren't they! And sometimes make the episode worse becasue there is such a contrast between 'moods' all the time adding to the confusion. I think cherish them if you can whilst they are happening and expect to return to a lower mood but know that those moments will come again. I think you are doing the right thing in taking your meds. I hope you feel better soon.