Keeping house

[Laura]

This is quite hard for me to open up about.
I have tried to tell my doctors that I seem to be incapable of keeping tidy etc. I can't find any surfaces in my kitchen.
I've tried all sorts - following the FlyLady routines, blitzes, getting help from mum, trying to do things one space at a time, making plans to follow, writing lists.
I might occasionally make a little progress but then it will slip back again.
(Is there an opposite of OCD?)
I think the state of the house is a definite reflection of how I feel and the last 6 months or so have been a stead downward slump. I feel bad that my cats don't live in a tidy house but then they do love to play with stuff on the floor. I'm terrified that one day the RSPCA might turn up and decide to take the cats away.
(about 6 months ago I had some dermatology treatment that went badly wrong)

Does anyone else have this problem? Is there any kind of help available for this?

[Lol]

Hi Laura I'm sorry you are having this problem. You have said that the untidyness of your house reflects how you are feeling. What makes you say this?

It is difficult seeing work that needs to done and not having the energy to do it. try to do only a little at a time rather than tackling it all in one go maybe?

[Laura]

I think that the more down I feel the less I tidy so the house is like a barometer of how I am doing.

[Lol]

I think it is common not to want to do the simplest of things like washing, tidying up etc. some peple have suggested picking 3 things, doing them, then rewarding yourself with something (food is the most poputlar from what I can see) or a nap or watching TV for 30 mons etc, then pick another 3, do then, then rewrad yourself again. Might this work for you?

[Laura]

Well I've been told to lose weight so not sure about the food thing.

I have tried so many tricks like this in the past and not got anywhere with it.

[Lol]

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you find something constructive that works for you. It's awful to feel like this.

[danbob]

i know this is gonna sound wierd but try tappersty or model making ect... something that is constructive and has a repetitive pattern.... helped my mum out with her ocd about cleaning

[Munchroom]

I really struggle with this too Laura    I've always liked things clean and tidy, but that has kind of gone out the window over the last year or so. I have zero motivation to do anything on most days at the moment, never mind take on such a humungous task as emptying the dishwasher or sorting some washing out. It's not all the time, but then on the days when I do get my backside into gear and have a bit of a tidy up, I pay for it the next day because I am unbearably exhausted, which then leads to an inevitable low, which then takes me days to recover from... My OH is pretty good, but when he comes home from work and decides he should get the hoover out, I feel so guilty and so incredibly angry at myself. Why is he having to do that?! Why have I become so useless and seemingly so lazy that I can't even clean my own house?! Them the more logical voice starts whispering away in thle background, reminding me that I have been very ill/am still ill and I need to give myself time to REST and RECOVER. Does nothing to help the guilt though....

Xx

[Zaf]

I'm the same Laura, I do find the method lol described works for me (but not with food as a reward either!), sometimes I have to break the tasks down into minute steps to get them done or even part done.

I hope you find something that works as its miserable having everything messy but no energy to do anything about it

[Befuddled]

Is it possible to get a cleaner in to help? This is how I deal with it.

[Laura]

Unfortunately I live alone so no OH to help out. And I'm out of work but don't qualify for benefits so can't afford a cleaner.
I'm too embarassed by it to let my mum or sister see let alone help.

I do get small things done from time to time - emptied the dishwasher and put all the clean stuff in the right places yesterday - but it's maybe once a week I feel up to doing much. I forget what day it is so miss the bin men most weeks. I have now sorted a system to get rubbish out of the house until it's time for a collection but it never seems to be straightforward.
I don't know where most of the rubbish even comes from!

[tharidler]

hello laura
it can seem quite daunting when little jobs take on huge proportions so if you can try the smallest of steps to start with you can try a list some people find that working that way can help or as other people have suggested a reward i'm sure there are other ideas out there but most of all be gentle with yourself if you can't do it now maybe you can later and when you do something no matter how small congratulate yourself and say i did that and tell me if you ever catch one of the rubbish fairies let me know because i'm sure they've been leaving me "presents" i hope this helps a little remember be kind to yourself

[lost rolex]

for me it's the other way round, i like clean and tidy, very clean scrubbed and smelling fresh, i like to have a tidy house and will use my last bit of strength to achieve this,


i hate smelly dirty things clean clean clean,


LR