Hi Guys,
Well I have been on a marriage forum discussing my relationship with others. I didn't mention anything about mental health or things like that because I know how people judge saying stuff like that.
Anyway I wrote about a period of my history with my wife a couple of years ago and I specifically wrote about a couple of incidents that happened and everyone on the forum has posted that it is blatantly obvious that she has had an affair. I didn't write with any emotion or anything just posted a lot of things that I noticed at a certain period from a couple of years ago that I'm confused about. I kind of assumed but it's been bugging me anyway as I said I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately and been thinking about the whole me. I've been asking a lot of questions and part of that process has led me here and another has led to this marriage forum.
I have started thinking about my wife and how she has been with me the last 5 years or so. I've come to the conclusions that she needs me around for what I don't know but she hasn't shown me love or affection or any respect what so ever over these last years. I do genuinely believe she cheated on my although she blatantly and arrogantly denies it. Even as I write this I can feel my energy draining, the blackhole I closed last week seems to be reopening and I'm starting to shake, anxiety but oh no not this time buddy, this time I'm not letting it win. I'm gonna win this round.
I have started thinking about my depression and I'm wondering if it's possible that it's because of my situation, the things I have gone through made me feel down and numb for so long? It comes in cycles where I feel like I give in then I start fighting again and it kind of clears.
