Thanks Steve, the documentary did show one young man who's OCD started when he was very young, I believe its the first of a series so they may tackle more of the issues later
Z xx
My OCD started at age 3-4, which is rare. I can remember the first moment it started, I looked at a draw handle and I had the urge to touch it, and from there onwards I performed compulsions. I remember that I used to walk up and down the stairs repeatedly, I would get changed into my school clothes over and over again. When I went to bed at night it took me about 2 hours because I had to keep getting out of bed to perform rituals. At school I had to write and rewrite all my work, and as a result my grades were reduced.
Every time I performed a compulsion I had to do it in an even number of times...but it is more complicated than that, I had to think pure thoughts when performing the compulsion, if I didn't, the compulsions needed to be repeated the correct number of times..... If I did a compulsion, I would do it 2 times, if I needed to do it again, I had to do it another 2 times (2x2=4 times), if I had to do it again I had to do it another 4 times (4X4=8) and if I had to do it again I had to do it another 8 times (8x8=16). Imagine putting on and talking of your trousers 16 times whilst trying to think 'pure thoughts'. Imagine running up and down the stairs 16 times.
To make things worse I was punished daily for this behaviour. I was shouted at, told I wasn't normal, was told I needed locking away. The result has been mentally devastating for me, and by my mid teens I was a volatile person. I argued intensely with my parents, and my aggression increased the older I got. I have many times smashed my house, more times that I care to remember. I am now a very calm person, but my childhood stripped me of confidence and self esteem, and I don't think I will ever be happy because I feel like I am not good enough for the world that I live in.
Even today I suffer terribly with OCD, I cannot begin to put it into words what it is like to think of one thing almost every waking hour of the day for over a year. I wish I could live OCD free, but I never will.
Steve X