Newbie looking for people who understand

[Catbrian]

Hope things are going ok for you, Ella

[EllaStar]

I'm not doing too well really. Didn't go into work today because I was hysterical last night and didn't get any sleep. Feel really guilty for missing work now

I'm trying to think of things I can be positive about but I can't really think of much right now. Keep obsessing about the fact I'm single, back at square one after being hurt and might not find the right person for me to share my life with  

Any thoughts?

Ella

Xxx

[vwone]

I'm not doing too well really. Didn't go into work today because I was hysterical last night and didn't get any sleep. Feel really guilty for missing work now

I'm trying to think of things I can be positive about but I can't really think of much right now. Keep obsessing about the fact I'm single, back at square one after being hurt and might not find the right person for me to share my life with  

Any thoughts?

Ella

Xxx

Hi Ella, sorry to hear that did you manage to get to the Dr's? I know it is really difficlut when you keep obsessing about the same thing and it is difficlut to stop. One thing that I found helped was writting down how I was feeling and why it was bothering me. My counseller gave me a sheet called Stop and it asks questions to stop you thinking of something such as what advice would you give someone and how would someone else see the situation it may help it is probally on the internet somewhere. Also try to keep yourself busy to take your mind off it I have baked a banana cake and carrot cake in the last two days  ^-^but I also think you do need to speak to the Dr as I am also on mediaciton as well as these ideas.

Hope you feel better soon  *()

[Catbrian]

Hey Ella

Sorry you're not feeling good.  Sometimes taking time off work makes us feel so bad, we might as well have gone in after all.

I think ruminating seems to be a common symptom amongst people experiencing depression.  I agree, writing is a good way of getting things into perspective; sometimes a good old rant never goes amiss either.  I think vwone's suggestion about keeping our mind preoccupied is a good way forward.  It does take a lot of practice, but sometimes the little achievements go a long way in building a belief in ourselves.

I don't know if there is a person alive who, at your age group, hasn't at some point spent too much time worrying we are going to be single for the rest of our lives.  Usually, that turns out to be untrue.  Sometimes, we need time to be alone; maybe you need to get over this particularly rough patch before you can fully flourish and, one day, meet Mr Right.

I wish I could say something that would make you feel better

[EllaStar]

I just feel like a totally broken version of myself and I wish someone could just put me back together again.

[Brad2701]

Hi Ella hope you are feeling ok?? I have just been diagnosed with stress and depression. I really didn't want to go to the doctor as I was scared but I'm so glad I did. He was very sympathetic and put me on 20ml citolapram which I've been taking for 2 weeks and I can already feel them working. Never forget its an illness, and it can be treated

[Jon]

Welcome Ella.
I'd like to echo what the others have said.
I'm also new to this site (I joined today).
For me, the worst thing about depression is feeling that you're completely alone with your feelings. I'm 51 and have suffered on and off with depression most of my life but have always found it difficult to admit to people, especially partners.
Going to see a doctor is a must but do keep your options open. Antidepressant drugs don't work for everyone. Some people respond better to counselling. I'm sure you'll find plenty of good advice about the pros and cons of antidepressants on this site.
May I also recommend a book to you? Sunbathing In The Rain by Gwyneth Lewis is a book I've recently discovered and it's helped me no end in terms of feeling less under attack when the darkness gathers. Unlike a lot of books on the subject it's actually very funny and not at all bogged down in heavy theory.
I wish you all good things, Jon

[iggyelvis]

i think i can understand a bit. i wish everything would just go away a lot of the time. sorry you feel so bad.

[EllaStar]

Thank you. I've not been on here for a while because I've actually been feeling better! I am sorry to say I haven't been to the doctors, I can't do it. I'm trying to fix myself on my own and to some extent it has worked, I've given myself goals, cut the person from my phone and life who had caused me so much pain, have started doing better in my job and eating healthier which I think has improved some of my moods. Christmas was difficult and I did feel depressed at times and had to spend some time alone but I feel okay now. I know I will have to have counselling at some point if I want to really deal with my deep rooted issues but I don't want medication and would rather go down the self help root for now.

Hope you've all had a lovely Christmas.

Ella
Xxx

[Brad2701]

Hi Ella so glad you have made positive steps on your journey. I have an appointment with a councillor next weds. Am quite nervous about it