Newbie looking for people who understand

[PaulaJo]

Hi Ella,
Every depression is different. From my limited knowledge, I know about severe depression, chronic depression, dysthymia, cyclical, bipolar, unipolar and atypical depression (which apparently is the most common)!
I too have periods when I am fine and periods when I get really low.
It is frustrating when your "inner" life is so distraught, even though your "outer" life is so positive.
A few months ago I felt suicidal, hopeless, so terribly terribly low... can't even describe how low... and yet, I had a fairly good job, loving fiance, friends, nice home, family coming to visit for our wedding...
Depression sometimes doesn't care what's going on in your life.

Try to distance yourself from this low, sad hopelessness. I know, and I do really know, it is easier said than done. But try to see it as the illness, not you. It is sometimes less distressing when we "accept" itbus the wirk of the illness. Underneath it all, "we" are still there.

[bookletters]

Nobody likes the idea of taking antidepressants because they sound scary and there is a lot of bad press around them. BUT, no it is not normal to be unable to feel positive or content. It is not normal to feel suicidal or to think you are never going to be happy. This is an illness and it is called depression!!!
Modern medicine allows people ill with depression to go back to happy/positive mode.... Ella, you are suffering in vain. If you had a headache, you would take a painkiller. If you are feeling the way you are feeling, a low dose of antidepressant for a few months is going to help you go back to your happy self and stop suffering so much xxx

[bookletters]

I am like Paula Jo, I have a wonderful life but every now and then depression makes me feel incredibly low, unhappy, with no hope in sight and nothing but utter despair... thank God, thanks to modern medicine, it does not last very long and I can go back enjoy my life where I left it.
You don't have to waste your life feeling this way Ella, please go and see a GP xx

[Catbrian]

I totally agree with Book and paulajo.  Depression is an illness.  If you had diabetes you would take insulin to improve the quality of your life.  Taking the right antidepressant will also improve your circumstances.  It doesn't mean you'll be on them for life, but certainly when you're feeling as low as you are.

I hope you manage to at least discuss it with your GP

[vwone]

Is it normal to have like a period of depression where it is quite intense for a few days/weeks? I have really tried today to keep busy and keep positive after last night's episode and I have seeing my friend from uni who I havent seen for months tomorrow to look forward to, but I just can't feel positive. I feel like I might burst into tears at any point and I have this constant nervous feeling in my stomach that I can't shake off. I don't understand why I can't just feel normal and content when it's been an average day and I've got positive things planned? Feeling very frustrated!

For the first time, I am thinking that I might ask about anti depressants. I was really against the idea but as many of you have said, what is the point in struggling when I could do something about it?

Ella

Xxx

Hi I am sure it is differnet for everyone but this is just how I felt two weeks ago, I had one night when I was perfectly ok then the next morning it returned and I was worse then ever. I went to the Dr's that day and have been on Citalopran since (10 days ago) I am glad I did I am still quite low but not as bad and not crying all the time. I am also getting couselling and had a course of CBT. As others have just said I actually have nothing to be depressed about happy family, nice home, good job but depression can still come. I almost feel embarressed because I know others would say what has he got to be depressed about....Please seek help and make yourself better

[bookletters]

Too many of us feel embarrassed about having depression.
I think when you understand that depression is a physical illness and that you aren't responsible for it then you can hold your head high and say to yourself "Actually, I am incredibly blame for fighting this illness and no-one has any right to judge me!"
Once you are on the right antidepressant, depression is a lot easier to put up with. Since being on venlafaxin I haven't cried once and my lows are a lot less low than they were. I am also able to sleep, eat, go out etc.... I really hope Ella goes to see her doc soon.

[Catbrian]

I have always kept my depression secret.  Some people who have known me for many years, would be surprised to learn I suffered regular bouts.  Lately, regular has become persistent, but I'd rather lose touch with people than let them in on my secret.  I find people generally don't understand and normally respond awkwardly.

[bookletters]

Yes, I tell some people but not some others. People respond differently when you tell them I find....

[vwone]

Hi Ella, hope you are feeling a bit better, just wondered if you had managed to book an appointment with your GP yet

[bookletters]

Good post, I was thinking of Ella too and wondering how she was doing.
How are you vonne? xx

[EllaStar]

Hi guys. I'm going to the doctors tomorrow, haven't been able to go yet due to work but I will be going in tomorrow to arrange an appointment. Had another rough day today but not as bad as I have been. Had a tough day at work, finding work very hard at the moment and feeling very inadequate and useless. Feeling very tearful which I hate

Hope you're all doing okay.

Ella

Xxx

[bookletters]

Thanks for keeping us updated Ella, yes work is never easy when you have depression!! xx

[vwone]

Good post, I was thinking of Ella too and wondering how she was doing.
How are you vonne? xx

Hi thanks I am not too bad citralopram doing its work at the moment, Ella that's great news hope you get an appointment soon  *()

[bookletters]

Good to know citalopram is helping!! xx

[PaulaJo]

Hi Ella,
I hope the rest of the week was OK for you?
I take my hat off to you, working a job while struggling with this illness is so so tough. You can really pat yourself on the back for that.
How are you doing now?
x