Depression Forums

I've almost come to the end of my intermediate/Level 2 courses now.  Two left to study tomorrow then mess around with some html so that the intermediate statements get their own page on my site then it's up to advanced/Level 3 courses next week!!   

If you'd told me 6 weeks ago that I would be getting ready to study at Level 3 there's no way I'd have believed you!  Truth is though, as long as I avoid courses with exams because of my brain damage I'll be fine!  There's a Level 1 child psychology course that I want to try that doesn't have an exam or residential school and I loved doing the OpenLearn child psychology course, so as long as I'm re-awarded ESA in November, I'll be saving up to take that course in September 2019!

This really is happening!  I've always thought I was too thick to study at University, but secretly dreamed of getting a degree from the Open University... never thought it would happen though.  I'm seriously starting to think that as long as I avoid maths and science courses I can at least give it a try!

I can so do this!!   

When You Feel as Though You Just Don’t Matter
Apr 05, 2018 | Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love”  Romans 8:38

Friend to Friend

For years we were joined at the hip. Not a day went by when we didn’t talk on the phone at least once.  But sometimes friendships come unhinged. People. Perspectives change. Purposes change. Passions  change. While nothing went terribly wrong, and no hurtful words were exchanged, the void was vast beyond bridging. I felt tossed away. Discarded. Of little regard. Erased as if I had never been. Worthless.  Perhaps you’ve felt that way at some point in your life. It’s a hard “dis-ease” to define. To put your finger on and say, “Yes, that’s where it hurts.”

For me, it was a niggling ache. A haunting hurt that shot straight through at unexpected times.  Why was I having trouble letting go?

Why were my feet stuck in the sucking mire of memories?

Me the woman who taught others how to leave the past behind. “But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead” (Philippians 3:13 nasb).

Yep. I memorized it. I taught it. I flashed it on the screen in PowerPoint Technicolor.  But there was this.  I was reading a book by Canadian Mark Buchanan, Your God Is Too Safe, and he diagnosed my heart-sickness with one fell swoop of his pen. That “thing” I had been struggling with but couldn’t define. My own deepest heart wounds have been inflicted by people who never set out to hurt me. It was worse. At some point they stopped even caring that what they did would hurt me. I became beside the point. My existence ceased to matter. The importance I believed I occupied in the heart of the other, the place of cherishing I thought was reserved for me turned out to be a myth.  Just as clearly as a physician who delivers a diagnosis would, Mark laid bare the crux of my problem: I became beside the point. My existence ceased to matter. For me, it was the worst kind of pain. A malignancy that spread and gnawed on other areas of my life.  Now that I had a diagnosis, now that the dis-ease had a name, I was faced with a choice. That’s what God does, you know. He doesn’t reveal a soul-sickness just for the sake of revelation, but always to bring healing…repentance…to help make you well. When He reveals an infectious soul-sickness, one you’ve never noticed or could define before, it’s as if He’s saying, “Now is the time.” When He shows you a lie that has become your truth, it’s time to reject that lie and replace it with His truth.  Jesus understands what it feels like to be of “no consequence” to someone (or many someones). Your arrow of pain shoots straight through the heart, comes out the other side, and finds its mark in the pierced hands and feet of Jesus, the pierced side of Jesus, the broken heart of Jesus. “By his wounds we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5).

He gets it. He wants you to let Him take it. Let it go not just into oblivion, but onto Him. Into Him. Here’s what Jesus wants you to know. Here is the truth:  You are of great consequence. You are significant. Your existence will never cease to matter. You have great worth.  Stop and do something for me. Draw a circle. Now draw a dot in the middle of the circle. What do you see?

Did you say “a dot?”

I did when someone asked me the same question.  But look at all that space around the dot! Inside. Outside.  Now think of the all-encompassing love of God. Above you. Beside you. Under you. You couldn’t get away from it if you tried. That’s the space inside the circle and outside the circle. That little tiny dot represents that person or the persons who have hurt you intentionally or unintentionally, the person or persons you’ve allowed to make you feel worthless. Why in the world do we look at the circle and see only the dot?

Why don’t we see the space?

Why in the world do we focus on the one person who has hurt us, or doesn’t care about us, and not on all the people in our lives who do love us?

On the God who loves us?

Here’s what I’m challenging you to do: Stop focusing on the dot. Focus on the space around the dot. The dot is just that a dot! She’s a dot. He’s a dot. God’s love for you, and all the other people in your world who love you including me are the space.

Sorry to be dense but when you appealed was it by letter only or did you appeal against the appeal decision to take it to tribunal where you go to court?

I'm waiting for a date for the tribunal as I'm not happy that my health is worse yet someone has decided that I am fitter despite the fact that osteoarthritis doesn't get better, it gets worse.  It is worth getting advice from the CAB.

4th time lucky?

   Happy birthday, MoshyMonster!  Hope you have the best day possible today!

Do you know how to create webpage animations?  Do you do graphic design or video's?  Whichever one it is, get yourself over to Fiverr (not a typo, there really are two r's) 'cos they are a worldwide freelance dooberry that offers all kinds of things that people need.  Steve's on there as a web developer and I've used them to plan out novels for me when I'm stuck for ideas and you charge whatever you want then wait for people to find you! 

Every time someone pays for you and you've done it, you need to put the ad up again 'cos it's taken down when you've got someone who has paid for your work which is slightly frustrating but it's all free... you only pay when you sell and you can look around the site for people who are looking for your type of things for free too.  It's the advertiser that pays when it's been done!

I do everything 2d/3d animation illustrations ect ect, will check it out thanks