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[Pip]

My husband, Rick, left school without any qualifications and finally we found out out he is slightly dyslexic - reading a book is slow going for him but he is much better reading of a computer screen.  Over the years Rick has worked on and off, been a taxi driver, seeling double glazing, Sky in the early days, have had leafleting teams, we even had our own removals and couriering business.Personally I loved it and one of my favourite trips used to be taking paperwork from the centre of London to Cheshire overnight.  It started on a shoestring and we did Chinese takeway deliveries to help.

Eventually Rick got really interested in web design after his mum died and I offered to type up her poetry.  Rick has never obtained any formal qualifications in web design and is completely self taught.  In recent years he has down a Methodist circuit website as two circuits merged and had already down a website for one of the circuits.  He's done all sorts including for personal trainer, shops etc - he feels like he's doing what he wants finally, is his own 'boss' although any profit goes to charity and he can work the hours he wants to do.

I agree that temping is better than nothing and you're gaining experience and you never know your self belief will improve and maybe set up a small business.
 

[lostmyway]

6 years 4 months and counting, and ppl wonder why I am depressed?

[Amanda_George]

I understand more than you realise, Lost.  It's been 21 years (not a typo) since I last worked and it's been depressing but don't lose hope or confidence in yourself for getting the job you want.  Practise faking confidence despite not genuinely feeling it... smile even though that's the last thing you want to do and dress smartly even though you want to just lay on the sofa in jeans and t-shirt covered with stains.  Set aside one day a week (I recommend NOT Monday or Friday) to go out with a folder full of CV's to each area you are willing to travel to 5 days a week, every week and do your best to convince yourself that you will get a job.

Take your time and never rush... they form an opinion of you from the moment you step through the door and you don't want that first impression to be that you're impatient.  Take your time and be prepared to wait for minutes at a time if they ask you to.  It's annoying, but they are testing your personality to see if you're a good fit for the company.

Go for it, Lost!

[lostmyway]

Well, the last thing I want to do is pound the pavement with a document wallet full of CV's tbh.  Yes, it's depressing and boring, and it does feel like nobody gives a xxxx.  The first 6-12 months were bad enough being without a job, it's about 10 times worse now.  My health has been failing because of it (I'm sure you know why).  I had a similar experience in my 20s, and don't remember it being this bad (probably because it wasn't)... but it was pretty grim during that time.

People need structure and a schedule to their lives in order to feel fulfilled.   Not hours watching TV and surfing the web, because there isn't anything else to do. I know that something will have to give, because this isn't living life.

  

[Amanda_George]

That's totally understandable.

How about just exploring the side streets and making a mental note of which businesses are where... don't approach them yet, unless you feel particularly brave, just go for a drive/walk and see what's about?  Invest in good quality printer paper and a box of A4 envelopes as well as a large book of stamps, then go home and come up with a covering letter for each of those businesses.

Be upbeat, confident and really sell yourself to each of those businesses in your covering letter and finish off by saying that you are happy to cover sick leave or holidays at short notice (if you genuinely are) and you are happy to give them any more information they need.  Basically sell your self, your qualifications and your passions in the letter and leave them saying to themselves "maybe we should get this person in for an interview?"

Might be wise to research business parks etc within driving distance too?  Search your local areas for businesses who have a phone number but no email address or website too.  Have a look at other jobs too, if they seem to be expanding, make a note of their address and send your CV to them too.

You can do this, Lost... the right job is out there for you, you just haven't found each other yet is all.

if you want it?

[Pip]

That's the problem with being unemployed it is very boring, repetitive and depressing trying to find a job. 

I was unemployed for about 18 months and it was demoralising trying to find work, I also got very tired of being told I was over qualified to do the jobs I applied for.  It didn't matter that I was saying I wouldn't be applying for jobs if I thought I was over qualified.  My mum talked me into applying to be a student nurse and I only went through with it because I have a caring nature.  I virtually walked into nursing and I loved the practical side off it.  Eventually I left as I was being bullied which my up line knew about but everything they did to help me the bullying didn't stop.

[lostmyway]

I hear nursing is a very tough profession, more than people think.  I have a DipHE, which is the same level as a HND/Foundation Degree level qualification, so I think I could be over qualified for certain jobs too, if I was being honest. Having no job is like sticking a foot into mild acid, it won't hurt so much at first, but if you keep doing it over and over again, it will hurt like hell.

That's how it is, everyday.. the same old things, over and over again.  I was asked recently why I haven't written a personal summary of reasons why I want a job and how I fit that job - I didn't know... Confidence, inclination, knowing how, among other things.  Easy for others to criticise I guess.  It seems there is always a small amount of bullying/belittling in the workplace, it has happened to me.  So much so, I had seen the manager about it, and HR; it was not a pleasant experience. Someone I used to work with came up to me with a tote bin, slammed it on the floor and said "F'ing do this" isn't acceptable in any way, shape or form. That was a night I wanted to forget very quickly, but it is a long time ago now.  Long-term joblessness breaks you from the inside, it doesn't really matter what others are telling you, whether it is true or not because you are very tired and depressed, and people in that state never really listen - largely because it is too much energy to do so. Basically saying the symptoms have intensified in some ways, it's hard to summarise.

[Amanda_George]

How would you feel about researching grants or student loans or whatever to take your studying to the next level?  When the dreaded "what have you been doing since you left your last job?" question comes up at interview you can totally honestly say "I've been studying xyz at abc to improve my knowledge and qualifications to help me return to the career of my dreams".  That's why I'm studying online courses even though it's been over 20 years since I last worked   

[lostmyway]

Not sure.  I wasn't really planning going back to study.  As I said before, you need experience... you could do it for another 10 years without a job - enough is enough.

[Amanda_George]

How about volunteering somewhere?  It doesn't have to be IT related, even though that's what you are aiming to do, but volunteering would give you an answer to their question.  How about being an IT guru at your local library or something like that?  Or walking dogs?  Or being a regular visitor of the elderly in homes?  I know it's not want to do and you won't be paid, but you will be able to answer the interviewer's question about what you've been doing.  Do you know how to create websites?  If you do, you can put the word out about you offering that for individuals and small businesses too.

If you had a job interview for a good job at a decent wage, how would you answer their question about what you've been doing for the last 6 years?  If you could say you'd been studying or volunteering or whatever then hopefully your potential future employer could see that you've made the most of your time away from the workforce     I would say that I write books and create webpages at home... what could you say?   

[lostmyway]

I tried volunteering but I didn't seem to have what they were asking for. I also looked into doing something at the local library some years ago, but it didn't go anywhere.  I really don't know at this point.

[Amanda_George]

What sort of volunteering were you doing... was it something you were genuinely interested in and happy to do or was it the kinda thing that you struggled to get out of bed each morning for (BTDT myself)?  With the library was it to do with IT or returning books to shelves or whatever?  How would you feel about going back to the library and asking if they need any kind of IT help... either with or without interacting with the library users?  My local library is desperate for an IT bod to give lessons in how to use the internet and use computers is all... maybe your library is the same but doesn't know enough to get their computers online or how to use social media or whatever?  They might say no - but they might also say yes!  Does your library have a jobs board or job fair or anything like that?  Mine does and if yours doesn't, it might be something to suggest?   

[lostmyway]

Oh, the machines were definitely online, the last time I looked.  I went to see them a few years ago and nothing happened to speak of; I don't know whether it is a lack of confidence on my part or what.  They built a new building, so I don't know if the same staff are still there or not.  Job fairs in the area of England I am in? it's a possibility, but the last one I went to wasn't that great. I'm 'desperate' to earn a living after being without one for so long... bit of a joke really.

[Amanda_George]

Might be worth another trip to the library?  Dunno about yours, but my library offers support and advice about getting a job for a couple of hours twice a week... might be worth asking about if yours offers something similar too?

Maybe have a look for books you can borrow while you are there for ways to increase your confidence and see if they can point you to more local ways to find a job too?  Is your job centre easy to get to or anything like that?  If it is, they might be able to help you too?

You can do this, Lost!

[Amanda_George]

We're currently catching up with a TV programme on the BBC about an experiment with people who have absolutely no hospital experience, never even been to one to visit a relative or anything like that and Steve said he'd fancy having a go at that, just like the volunteering he did at the steam railway before his legs got bad.  Is there anything like that you could try?  Something totally different to computers and networking that would obviously start at the very bottom of the ladder and not be paid, but you might really enjoy it and you'd be helping everyone with jobs that take time and are definitely helpful to the paid staff.  The hospital volunteers are keeping patients conscious and doing obs and taking on the food rounds and wheeling patients to and from x-ray and things like that - very minor jobs but they are the sorts of things that the nurses usually do that take up time that could be used saving someone's life. 

When Steve volunteered at the steam railway he would clean engines, break up wooden pallets, fetching things for the fireman, cleaning and trimming lamps, making mugs of tea, "general manual labour around the shed", fetching and carrying, tidying up etc and he said, on his very first day there he even helped to take a connecting rod off Black Prince so that it could be cleaned.  All manual labour but he felt like he was "giving something back and doing something useful" with his time and life.  He's passionate about steam trains so I bought him a lifetime membership to our local preserved line and he lived for the weekend because it was sooo different to what he did during the week and he felt like he was giving something back not only to the steam railway but also to the local community too.

What are you truly passionate about?  For Steve it's steam trains for me it's childcare... what are you so passionate about that you would be willing to work for free a day or so a week?  Something totally different to networking?  Find something that puts a huge grin on your face and makes you look forward to your next time doing it... I willingly changed poo-filled nappies several times a day because I'm passionate about children and Steve willingly did manual labour because it meant that he could get close to the trains.  When there was a gala at the railway, Steve would leave the house at 5am and not be home much before 10pm both days of the weekend, he'd be absolutely exhausted but the genuine grin he had plastered on his face the whole time was soo worth it.  If you find a volunteering opportunity in that area, when the interview question comes up about what you've done since your last job, you'll be able to talk passionately about it.  I didn't shut up about the shoppers creche I worked in every weekend and Steve still doesn't shut up about the trains!  lol

Look deep inside yourself and find something that you would be willing to work for free in if all your bills were covered... something that makes your eyes sparkle and that you could talk about 'til the cows come home.