im back

[milkyjoe]

hi peeps, i need to post on here when im okay for a change. however i got excited last week because my sleep apnoa appointment had arrived. till they cancelled it for the third time. i been told its december now. my depression has come back with a vengeance this week and my sleep has vanished completely. i just end up watching tv all night in a zombie like trance. life sucks for me right now. my appointment with my health counseller is still 5 weeks away. the nhs is a real shambles right now on mental health issues....................

[Amanda_George]

I'm so sorry you've been delayed again, Joe!  Can you maybe phone them in the morning and explain how frustrated it is making you now that they've delayed you three times?  Maybe you could say that you're available at short notice or something?

 

  if you want it?

[milkyjoe]

yeah it is ridiculous. i got a potentially lethal condition that i cant get diagnosed................

[milkyjoe]

my mood is so low right now. never been this low before.

[Amanda_George]

Maybe you could phone the place and tell them that you are risking your life every time you go to sleep?  Is there anything your GP can do on your behalf or anything?    again if you want it.

[milkyjoe]

Im gonna make an appointment Monday. I can't go on like this, I just don't enjoy life anymore. I'm actually contemplating getting myself sectioned so I can get some help.

[Amanda_George]

You shouldn't be forced to live like you are so please do make the appointment on Monday, Joe!  In the mean time, I'll listen whenever you need to talk!

[milkyjoe]

Thank you. I'm glad you have messaged. No idea how I'm gonna get through next few days.

[Amanda_George]

Lean on us whenever you need to and I for one will always be here for you   

[milkyjoe]

i been thinking all day on ways to end my life im that low. ate 30mg mirt 20mg of proponol and zopiclone and didnt sleep at all.

i think i have come to the end of the line. thinking along the line of necking vodka bottles. man the nhs failed me big time.

just couldnt get the help i needed

[Amanda_George]

Please keep safe, Joe!  Phone NHS Direct and ask what they can do to help then make an urgent appointment with your GP tomorrow and demand to get the help you so desperately need and want.  Ask about self-referrals or hospital appointments or a temporary increase in your meds or something.  Print out this thread to take with you... I care about you Joe!

[milkyjoe]

hello. my mirtazapine has been increased to 45mg. im still suicidal. my family have me on lock down. managed to get 5 mins to post. still not sleeping,dont think i ever will. thanks for your support amanda. means alot. really need the mirt to get be back to normality. cant go on like this

[Amanda_George]

Keep taking the Mirtazapine, Joe and I hope the increase kicks in soon!  I understand the suicidal thoughts and I understand that you're incredibly low right now, but keep on keeping on as best you can because you will feel better just like I did!

Please stay safe.  I care.

[milkyjoe]

Thanks, any idea how long it will take the extra 15mg to start kicking in. Got some sleep yesterday, but had to take a zopiclone.

[Amanda_George]

I've got no idea about med increases unfortunately... sorry!  Maybe phone and ask your doc or NHS Direct or something?  Maybe you could phone your doc as soon as they open tomorrow to see if a doc can tell you over the phone?  It may not be your GP, but hopefully they will be able to give you a bit more of an idea than I can?

Glad you got some sleep yesterday... I know what insomnia is like and how frustrating it is to be too tired to function only too well.  What is your night time routine like?  Do you turn off your computer at least an hour before bed time and read a magasine in bed until you can barely keep your eyes open or listen to your favourite radio station or anything?