Author Topic: Realisation  (Read 10364 times)

lostmyway

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Realisation
« on: September 08, 2016, 07:37:31 PM »
Hi all

It has come to me the reasons why I am so sad and depressed.  The fact im at home with no job, no decent friends, no satisfying career and my elderly parents erratic behaviour I'm sure are very significant factors.  But I think its the fact im 45 and STILL the situation is the same as it was when i was in my 20s,has a great deal to do with it.  So is the depression purely situational? I think some of it is, yes.  Ok i have a bit more money in the bank, but that sucks when you have nobody to share that with and enjoy it.

Not sure where to go on from here, I'll be honest.

Amanda_George

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Re: Realisation
« Reply #1 on: September 09, 2016, 09:37:06 AM »
I don't know what to say to help other than I've read your post and I care!

 :hug:
Money talks, chocolate sings!  :-D

May your life be as pleasant as you are.

lostmyway

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Re: Realisation
« Reply #2 on: September 25, 2016, 08:38:10 PM »
Nice to say you care, but I don't think much is going to change now or in the near future..

Pip

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Re: Realisation
« Reply #3 on: September 25, 2016, 10:00:28 PM »
Sending cyber hugs :hug: .  I can't give good advice but like Amanda I care as you deserve happiness the same as everybody else.

Amanda_George

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Re: Realisation
« Reply #4 on: September 26, 2016, 09:42:52 AM »
Nice to say you care, but I don't think much is going to change now or in the near future..

It may take time, but things can and do change for the better!  Keep talking and I'll keep listening!   :hug: if you want it?
Money talks, chocolate sings!  :-D

May your life be as pleasant as you are.

lostmyway

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Re: Realisation
« Reply #5 on: October 09, 2016, 10:51:40 PM »
At 45 I'm not sure I'm entirely convinced.  Right now I am scared and worried about the future and what it will hold.
I just feel I have made a dogs dinner of everything and for whatever reason things didn't transpire the way I wanted it to.
Life is about opportunity and taking chances and if those opportunities don't come along, you miss the boat.

I am at home even now because the situation hasnt altered. People ask me why I am still here... to be honest I am not 100% sure either.
Maybe its because i have been here for so damned long now that its hard to alter it, or fear maybe crossing my mind too.  Economics is probably the most logical conclusion
that I can honestly think of right now.  Another is why am I still single? Why didn't I get married and why haven't I moved on? To this day I still don't know the answer.

I think its unusual for a 40 something to still be at home, but to me I guess it's normal. Most wouldn't understand that ideology.

Amanda_George

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Re: Realisation
« Reply #6 on: October 10, 2016, 10:28:05 AM »
My sister-in-law is in her early 40's and hasn't left home either and she hasn't had a relationship while I've been living here either so you're not alone in that - it's just the way things are for you both right now... things really can and do change no matter how old or young you are!

Keep on keeping on, Lost... things can change for the better!
Money talks, chocolate sings!  :-D

May your life be as pleasant as you are.

lostmyway

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Re: Realisation
« Reply #7 on: November 13, 2016, 11:51:08 AM »
thanks for your optimism but its a conditioning that has been going on for a long time , that why its hard to alter it.  Things are so expensive in this modern age , it can hardly be surprising.
That's why living in the UK is so hard because everything is so overpriced ... Housing, higher education, ridiculously low welfare for people when they are out of a job, the cost of living generally speaking is ridiculous.

Of course it is easier with 2 incomes than just one esp. if you have to take a minimum wage job because there's nothing else out there.  I think the damage was done in my 20's and earlier, long-term unemployment, not getting the high grades i needed to get a better job, there are a lot of different factors that have compounded the situation to where it is now.  The low self-esteem and self-confidence is obviously one of the main problems.  I know very few people who are my age and live on my own , but then the loneliness and seeming isolation hits too if you have only a few friends to rely on and trust.  Yeah i suppose i'm just venting right now, but don't most people in my situation.

Amanda_George

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Re: Realisation
« Reply #8 on: November 14, 2016, 07:43:29 AM »
I understand where you're coming from, Lost.  The only people I know where I am is my next door neighbour and someone over the street from us.  Nobody else.  Keep going and you'll get there in the end.  I know that right now things seem impossibly hard but things can and do get better. Promise.
Money talks, chocolate sings!  :-D

May your life be as pleasant as you are.

lostmyway

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Re: Realisation
« Reply #9 on: November 14, 2016, 11:21:11 AM »
It needs to, otherwise what's the point?

Amanda_George

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Re: Realisation
« Reply #10 on: November 15, 2016, 04:18:42 PM »
Exactly, but there is a point out there for everyone, you just need to find it for you... take each minute as it comes and do things you're interested in and find your own, personal, unique point... try something creative or find a new book to read or TV station to watch or radio station to listen to or something like that?  You don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to, but experiment until you find something just for you.   :happy0158:

 :hug: if you want it?
Money talks, chocolate sings!  :-D

May your life be as pleasant as you are.

Pip

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Re: Realisation
« Reply #11 on: November 15, 2016, 09:36:33 PM »
I suppose I have always been blessed to have had people around me that have cared.   Even when I have been at my loneliness I have had friends.

lostmyway

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Re: Realisation
« Reply #12 on: November 16, 2016, 12:28:46 PM »
it's the enforced idleness and the isolation that compounds the problems to no end.  Is mentally like living on a desert island.  A lot of it is caused by joblessness, but like I iterated before, it's because my life never really got going for one reason or another.  i lost my job in April 2013 and since probably the middle of June 2014 or so I seemed to stop looking for a job, I gave up one way or the other.

I just have total apathy towards the whole thing, partly because I didn't want to go back to warehousing.  It damaged my health badly one way or the other.  Like I said previously I don't know where to go from here.

Amanda_George

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Re: Realisation
« Reply #13 on: November 16, 2016, 12:55:35 PM »
How would you feel about going in a totally different direction and going to college or distance learning or something like that?  Train to be something totally new and different?  Like becoming an optician's assistant or work with animals or something just for you, like philosophy or something really creative or a musician or designer or something like that?  Do something just for you kinda thing... something that you can look back on and be able to say "I did that just for my own benefit and I really enjoyed it!" kinda thing?    :happy0158:

 :hug: if you want it?
Money talks, chocolate sings!  :-D

May your life be as pleasant as you are.

lostmyway

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Re: Realisation
« Reply #14 on: November 16, 2016, 01:03:54 PM »
I am already with the open university on my 2nd level 2 module.  The module im doing is very dull and i'm hoping it'll get more interesting.  If i want a Bsc i have to do Level 3.   I was very enthusiastic about the whole thing back in 2013. Now I'm not so sure.