Author Topic: New Here.  (Read 2319 times)

SocialServicesFighter

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New Here.
« on: December 14, 2010, 07:55:37 PM »
Hi all, new here.
Please excuse my user name, it's the reason for my depression basically. I'm 28, I live in Telford and suffer with depression, anxiety and have had symptoms close to bipolar disorder.

4 years ago I was a full time Dad of two girls. Social Services entered my life with the phrase "We're not here just to steal your kids".
They then promptly searched for any excuse to do so.
Within 3 months, they did. Wrongly accusing me of neglect.

I ended up in a hostel after they not only took my girls, but also my house and all of my property.
The girls ended up in a foster home, even though my family were prepared to take them in.
For 6 months I didn't see my kids and fought Social Services to see them and get them moved into the home of one of my relatives.

After 18 months of fighting I eventually got my wish.
My girls are now safe with a family member and I see them whenever I like, though it has taken nearly 4 years altogether and Social Services are still looming over us like an unwanted puss filled pimple.

Through the first 18 months of fighting, I suffered a complete breakdown and ended up in a corner rocking back and forth and thought about suicide many times. My whole body would shake uncontrollably and my hands would drop things (my carpets are ruined!).
I'm now on permanent incapacity benefit.

To control my depression I have fought mentally with myself many times, forcing myself to do things, from doing the washing up, to going out socialising.
Believe me, forcing myself to do different things has helped control the depression and anxiety. It gives me a sense of 'normalism' just knowing I'm doing things (though there are times I still do nothing and just sit on my backside).

I'm not going to get preachy as not everyone wants to hear people harping about God, but finding God and the Bible has had a profound impact on my life and has allowed me to find that inner strength needed to get me out and about. If you'd like to hear more about my experience with 'religion' please feel free to p.m me.

My main escape/control though, is playing pool and model making: ie: Doing something creative (model making) and doing something that takes a lot of concentration (pool).
I've found this helps me deal with the difficult things in life in a creative way and has also improved my concentration in doing these things efficiently.
I'm not on any medication, my Doc mentioned it but I refused.

Anyhoo, I'll disappear for now and will check back soon.

SSF.
Everyone has a b@stard, whether it's an Inner Demon, or some self important @rse who looms over your every move.
The trick is to not let the b@stards grind you down. Shed a cleansing tear, then stand tall and be humbled in knowing that you are much better than they will ever be...
... and you will get stronger.

Ezel

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Re: New Here.
« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2010, 08:11:57 PM »
 (*( and  !"£

Social services have much to answer for.  I haven't been through what you have but adoption is a huge factor in why I suffer with depression.  I was coerced aka bullied and lied into surrendering my son to adoption and by the time I knew my rights it was years too late.  Reunion didn't ease the pain as my son has major issues with adoption made worse by finding out I wanted to raise him.  I actually turned my back on my faith after he was adopted but came back to it after we reunited.  It does help though on bad days as I read my favourite parts of the bible.

SocialServicesFighter

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Re: New Here.
« Reply #2 on: December 15, 2010, 03:44:14 AM »
I haven't been through what you have

Meh! You've basically dealt with the Nazis first hand.
Knowing OF them is enough to know what I've been through.

Religion is a funny thing though. I'd never blab on an open channel about my experiences with the Almighty, but I'd certainly talk openly to anyone who asks.
I don't hold to any particular 'labeled' Religion, though my following of the Bible and God is, as I see it, very strong.
I guess you could say that I'm 'Biblist' rather than Christian or Jewish.

It's certainly something that's helped me in dark times, and still helps during lighter times too.
Everyone has a b@stard, whether it's an Inner Demon, or some self important @rse who looms over your every move.
The trick is to not let the b@stards grind you down. Shed a cleansing tear, then stand tall and be humbled in knowing that you are much better than they will ever be...
... and you will get stronger.

bel

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Re: New Here.
« Reply #3 on: December 15, 2010, 11:49:31 AM »
Hi SSF and welcome.
That's a grim story. Poor you.
Glad to hear you're finding some way out. For myself God/religion was no answer but it's great if it helps you. I can relate to the creative stuff though. I try to do drawing and it helps keep the demons away. Although when they're really biting of course I don't want to do anything!  :-\
Keep posting!
bel