WHAT TURKEYS NEED TO KNOW BUT DON'T

[The Pastor]

1. By limiting your corn intake to 175 kernels a day, you can lose thirteen pounds or three hours baking time, whatever the case may be.

2. There is no such thing as the friendly ax-man.

3. Hiding inside old Jack-O-Lanterns never works.

4. Running helps you lose weight, but you will never fly, ever.

5. Stop writing to Benjamin Franklin; he's dead, and you lost that National symbol argument long ago.

6. No one buys the "you can't eat a turkey with glasses routine."

7. If anyone asks you about your drumstick size, be afraid; be very afraid.

8. Sweet corn meal is NOT low in calories. Stop eating it.

9. Pretending to be "just a chicken" is not very smart.

10. If there are not pigs or geese on your farm, you should probably worry about Christmas as well.

[Pip]

 

[stewart]

wery wise words for the turky, and add to the list 'an axe travels faster than the turky can run'