Hello!

[PaulH]

Hey all, thankyou for having me 

I'm a 30 year old man suffering from M.E and Depression. I was diagnosed with M.E 5 years ago and 3/4 months later it brought on depression. Treated successfully with 40mg Citalopram. Almost 3 years ago I caught the flu which made my M.E worse, 6 months later I had to quit work. Me and my partner lost our flat. 3 months ago she dumped me by text.

I'm now unemployed, living with my mum, unable to do much physically and feeling like I've lost the one person in my life that made me happy.

Looking back my depression started around a year ago, mainly due to relationship troubles but also health and lack of job. It manifested itself with drinking and anger issues. I had a terrible panic attack which lasted all day when my GF told me we should live separately. I ended up living with friends for 3 months waiting for her to decide what she was going to do. I became more and more depressed but stupidly thought it would all be ok when we patched things up. It didn't. She dumped my by text message and I haven't seen her since. I have no ill feelings toward her however.

My heart is broken and sometimes I just can't see my life ever being bearable again. I see no future. I dread being alone and waking up in the morning. It's not just because I'm now single. I have only a few friends.

I've switched to escitalopram (3 days ago) and have been referred to counselling.

Hoping this forum helps :)

[Allan_T]

Hey Paul, welcome to the forums.

its a shame to hear all of this, but seeming as i can relate to this (going through the same thing pretty much) i thought it would only be right to put my input in here, even though i haven't found a 'cure' for it all.

it is hard, hell i wake up every morning thinking the same, cry myself to sleep at night, and spend all day doing nothing, no job, no home, nothing except from waiting for a message of the ex to know if i can see my son.

it is difficult, but remember that we only get given what we can handle, yer we may be dealt a bad hand, and everything may seem insignificant, but there are plenty years left in us, and who knows what the future may bring?

the best course of action is to try and keep pushing, its hard to move on with so much pain, but dwelling on the past and occurrences that have happened will only make you sink lower. We have to go out there, start picking up the pieces of our life to find out what our next move will be. You might not be ready to start dating but socialising and bringing something new into your life can help your feelings. You may read this and have the same attitude as me "how is that possible?", well ill tell you how... Self belief.. If you believe in yourself everything will fall together... Don't be ashamed of telling people that you are suffering, don't be afraid to tell people about the rocky road your on, because its part of who you are, and you can only gain strength from these ordeals...

like i said, it is difficult, and I'm not saying that tomorrow you'll wake up feeling like a new man, because we're not built that way, we will hurt, we could hurt for the rest of our lives, but it will get easier, we will be able to manage the pain, and who knows, we could even find happiness. I'm sorry that this has happened to you, and i hope my words have been somewhat helpful... Just remember, everything happens for a reason, and no matter how dark those clouds may seem to be, there is always a silver lining, we just need to reach out and search for it.

[stewart]

Hi Paul, welcome to the forums.
sorry to hear of your troubles, depression alone is hard to deal with for most people, and having it doubled with ME must be much harder still.

changes is meds can help some people, and even a combination of two or more neds is sometimes needed.

at least here you can let it all out as so to say, and you wont be judged against as we all have faced or are still facing verious forms of depression for a veriety of reasons.

[PaulH]

Thanks both for the kind words and advice. It's reassuring to know that things can improve, you tend to convince yourself the opposite when you're in a depressed frame of mind.

[Pip]

 :welcome:

As someone who has suffered with depression for most of my life for completely different reasons I found ways to cope.  Circumstances and triggers bring on bad periods but I am an example that people can live and function with depression.  I have different ways of coping.  I have been fortunate over the years that due to being open about why I am a depression sufferer it's helped me make friends who have gone through similar experiences.  Here I am the 'odd one out' for roots of depression but I can still relate to others.

[Becky123]

Hi, Just wanted to say my best friend has ME and is really struggling so I know what its like and what it can do to a person, and you must be very strong to deal with that as well as depression. Hope you find some help in talking to people on here