New member - Hello

[Debsdepressed]

Hi fellow deppressee's

I am Debbie and I have been experiencing a severe depressive episode since February.  I have had depression in the past but nothing as bad as this time.  After about a month of realising I was depressed again I started to have severe anxiety to the point I couldnt do very much at all and couldnt eat.  I lost a lot of weight which was the only positive thing.  I was on Sertraline but that gave me diarrhoea then I tried venlaflaxine which gave me lots of awful side effects and I settle on duloxetine which I have improved on slowly where I no longer have anxiety but I am still pretty depressed.  I was off work 4 months - back now and it has done me good.  I am also on pregabaline and quetiapine which I think was for anxiety and propananol.  I dislike being on 4 different medications but am afraid to stop taking any in case the anxiety comes back.  I have been on a waiting list to have CBT which I am told should start in the next few weeks but its been an awful long wait.  I see a psychiatrist once every 6 weeks but that was a long time waiting to start as well and I have had 2 different locums and next time will see another one who is back from maternity leave but I dont feel I have had any continuity of care and they dont seem to be terribly interested unless you are at a suicidal level of depression which I was for a long part of my illness back earlier in the year.

I have only joined this forum today, I wish I had thought to do it a long time ago, I am very lonely with this illness and have little contact with peers except at work and at AA meetings which I go to twice a week as I am a recovering alcoholic.  I am 45 years old, a single mother to 2 daughters aged 18 (at uni) and 14 living at home with me.  I live near Watford which is just outside London.

Im not sure where to start but thought a brief history as above to introduce myself and then a reaching out as I would dearly like to make friends and have some support and give the same back to anyone I can help.

My current symptoms are mainly low mood, lethargy, wanting to sleep or lie around all the time, feeling bad about not having got things done because of the lethargy and loneliness.  Whilst I feel a lot better than I was with the anxiety I feel like something is holding me back and not allowing me to be me.  I get no enjoyment out of anything.

Does anyone else relate to how I feel and anyone have experience of the medications I am taking?

[Pip]

 :welcome:

The members here take different types of medication including combinations.  I tool one medication for depression years ago which I came of in the end.  It didn't help in the way I wanted as I was on such a high dosage to stop me feeling depressed that I felt like a zombie.  For about 18 months I took citalopram which did help for a while then my doctor, in her wisdom, too me off it due to me going through CBT which had helped me with anxiety.  For some time I have been on amitriptyline but for pain rather than depression and to help me sleep.

The lack of continuity of care won't help but hopefully that will get sorted for you.

[stewart]

Hi Debbie, welcome to the forums.
as you have found out, there are side effects to medications, and not all the people have the same side effect, some get none at all.

it is not unusual to be on a combination of medication, and unfortunatly it can take a while for the meds to start working, or indeed to start to show any bad side effects.

[Debsdepressed]

Thanks Stewart and Pip.

I have been on all 4 medications for quite a few months now and I have no idea which of them are doing what for me.  I would like to taper off them all except the duloxetine but my doctor got cross with me when I mentioned this and said a few months ago I was so ill I would have taken anything so why do I want to stop now when I am feeling better.  I can sort of see his point but I am still depressed so does this mean they are not working for me anymore? Am I supposed to settle for feeling depressed just because it is better than I was ie. highly anxious and suicidal.

All I want is to feel happy now and then, have a "normal" amount of energy and to feel enthusiasm from time to time.  I guess most people on here feel the same way.

[stewart]

Hi Debbie,
 the body can become resiliant to meds after a while, but i would think this would take a lot longer than a few months,
it would be my guess that one of the meds is not reacting well for you.
its not good that your doc got cross with you, he / she should have looked deeper into the meds you are on, and maybe try other combinations.