-Wrong Date-
One of my customers at the department of motor vehicles wanted a personalized license plate with his wedding anniversary on it. As we completed the paperwork he explained, "This way I can't forget the date."
A few hours later, I recognized the same young man waiting in my line. When his turn came, he said somewhat sheepishly, "I need to change the numbers on that plate application."
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-Business Trip-
My husband and I had been trying to have a third child for a while. Unfortunately, the day I was to take a home pregnancy test, he was called out of town on business. I had told our young daughters about the test, and they were excited. We decided if it was positive, we would buy a baby outfit to surprise their father when he got home. The three of us stood in the bathroom eagerly waiting for the telltale line to appear.
When it did not, my thoughtful seven-year-old gave me a hug. "It's okay, Mom," she said. "The next time Daddy goes out of town, you can try and get pregnant again."
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-Final Farewell-
Following a funeral service, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out of the church when they accidentally bump into a wall. From inside the coffin they hear a faint moan. Opening the lid, they find the man inside alive! He leaps out, performs a little jig, and lives another ten years before eventually keeling over.
Once again, a ceremony is conducted, and at the end, the pallbearers carry out the casket. As they head toward the doors of the church, the wife of the deceased leaps to her feet and shouts, "Watch the wall!"
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-Second Marriage-
'If I were to die first, would you remarry?" the wife asks.
"Well," says the husband, "I'm in good health, so why not?"
"Would she live in my house?"
"It's all paid up, so yes."
"Would she drive my car?"
"It's new, so yes."
"Would she use my golf clubs?"
"No. She's left-handed."
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-Enduring Love-
My granddaughter asked why I called my husband Hon.
"It's a term of endearment," I explained.
My husband mumbled, "After more than 40 years, it's a term of endurement."
