Abandoned...

[Michibelle]

I just wondered if anyone else on the forum feels (or has ever felt) completely abandoned?

I was raised as a Catholic girl, attending Catholic schools, attended mass every Sunday and Catholic celebration.  I always believed in God, the goodness of people and that if I was a good and honest person I would always be safe in God's hands.

However, in recent years I have come to feel completely abandoned.  By God, by religion...everything.  I find that I can no longer have faith in any of the things I was brought up to believe.  I don't believe in the goodness of people.  I don't believe that God will save me.  I don't believe that he listens to my prayers or that he has a plan for me.  I simply cannot accept that I was "destined" to live this life.  Why would a loving God make me live this way?

I can't reconcile myself with the teachings of the Bible anymore -- I no longer believe in forgiveness.  Sure, for the little things, like when I used to fight with my sister when I was little, when I upset someone, when I recognise that I've been selfish.  But how can I forgive the person who has turned me into this shell of a human being?  How can I ever forgive the man who I was supposed to be able to trust for the abuse that he sentenced me and my siblings to?

And how can I believe in a God who is willing to forgive this man, so long as he seeks that forgiveness?  Is it just me who finds it terrifying that, according to the Bible and Catholic teachings, this peadophile will go to heaven because he repented and sought forgiveness, but that I - a generally good, kind and caring, albeit flawed person - will probably go to hell for my disbelief?

This is something that has troubled me deeply in recent years and I wondered if anyone else has had similar thoughts?

[junior]

Hi Michibelle
I have never really had any faith in a god, there were times when i wanted to believe but how hard my life has been and seeing the pain of others i just cant see it.
But saying that i do think there is something other than evolution like a god so to speak or higher power, i believe when someone does pass away the can look over you,  heaven and hell i dont believe in but i do think there is something else just not sure what, if you can understand that.
Junior

[lightenup]

Again due to tough issues in my life, I too have questioned my religion.  The atrocities of living in N.Ireland etc, beggars my belief.  I do however feel someone is looking out for me.  I never knowingly or intentionly ever set out to harm anyone and I hope if there is a God they would favour a person like me  rather than someone claiming on their deathbed forgiveness for being the biggest b***ard in the world. As I tend to say now I believe there is a greater being, but I don't believe in religion (especially as people have been at war over religion or in the name of it).  &*( 

[Carry]

Hi Michibelle

I was always a Christian but a few years ago the questions I had struggled with for a long long time, overpowered my belief. 
I was consumed with the thought of hell and was constantly begging for forgiveness just in case I died in that moment. 
I prayed every night for help. I asked God to show me the way. One Christmas my brother bought me a book ( I'm not sure if I should mention the title), and this book changed my life. 
I realise that organised religion is not for me.
I also know there is no hell.
Love is more powerfull than hate.
I trully believe that what we ask for we will receive.
Prayer is very powerful but who you pray to is up to you.
I personally like to pray to God and the Goddess.
My life is easier spritually than it has ever been and at last I have no guilt about it. Hope this helps? Carry

[Carry]

Sorry Just a few more thoughts.

I Don't believe we have to learn something or have a path in this life. I believe that we are only here firstly because we want to be and secondly for us to remember who we are, which is part of God/Goddess/Creator. I believe we can truly learn what Love is because we all experience the opposite of it at times in our lives.

God never abandons you he is Love and always will be.

Any religion, that you choose, is right for you. You will know when you find it. I would humbly suggest you pray about it.

I hope I haven't offended you with my thoughts.

Love and Peace
Carry