Thought I'd give this a go

[FluffySeal]

Hi

I am 21 years old and was first diagnosed with depression when I was around 19-20.
I feel I have had it since I was 14 but no one took me seriously because apparently children can't be depressed. well that is what I was told, so I just dealt with it alone and locked myself in my room. I went counseling for bullying but hated it as the woman was a bit patronising and also invited my mum in for an interview behind my back. I couldn't trust her after that and soon quit.

I dealt with depression throughout school and college but around 19-20 was when it really hit me hard again. I was put on fluoxetine but after only a couple of days i stopped taking them.
I stopped taking them due to the fact 1. I had a phobia of swallowing tablets 2. my boyfriend and my family kept telling me i do not need the tablets

I tried to go on day by day, got my first job last october and was okay for about a month or two; with the odd day here and there. However it all came back to me in January and I have been struggling the most I ever have. I went back on fluoxetine despite other peoples wishes, I was diagnosed as moderately depressed. I took the tablets for about 2 weeks (got over my tablet phobia) and then came down with awful rashes. My arms, legs, tummy and neck were just red raw and itchy. This caused me a lot of grief and it took 2 trips to the doctors to try and sort it. They did not believe that it was the tablets causing the rashes; after about 2 weeks more of itching; I started taking 1 every 2 days and then stopped. Around 3 weeks of stopping; i havn't had a rash since.

A couple of days ago, I went to the doctor to talk about 2 problems I have. One was depression and one was to do with a constant pain in my abdominal area. The doctor told me to come back in 2 weeks if the pain is still there, and didn't even give me anything for depression, barely even spoke to me about it. It took a trip to A&E to find out I have a kidney infection, and right now the antibiotics are giving me anemia, feeling sick, and headaches; and the pain has not even subsided one bit.

The doctors are doing absolutely nothing to help me; they have not offered me to go anywhere to talk like to a counsellor, psychiatrist or homeopath. I feel they do not take me seriously at all because I am young, which offends and upsets me very much.
I am thinking of maybe going to a homeopath locally; its taken me a long time to ask for help, but every time i have tried at the doctors; it hasnt paid off.
I dont really like talking to people about my feelings, but I feel like I may have to sign up for a homeopath soon because I feel completely helpless and lost; I have tried to pick my mood up but every day I am struggling with the will to live. I don't want to be around but I'm too scared to do anything drastic.
My boyfriend doesn't think I need to go see anyone or go on any type of medication or anything; he said he understands but I feel he doesn't. I feel he is in denial and didn't like the idea of me going to see a homeopath. I have refrained from contacting them but feel I may soon despite his view because I just do not know how much longer I can last.

At the moment I am on no type of medication for depression.

[Becky123]

Hi,  I'm also 21 and can relate to a lot of what you say! Struggling to ask for help comes with depression, it's like a constant loop the things that help us, depression stops us doing. And also your boyfriend sounds a lot like mine tries to understand but doesn't because he's not been there himself you could try to explain to him how you are feeling, it's taken me many times of 'you don't understand' and explaining for him to get anywhere need understanding.

You should keep pushing to get the help you need though, some doctors I've had act in a similar way, maybe ask to speak to a different doctor? Because some are nice and take depression seriously.

Hope this helps a little to know you are not alone  :smile:

[stewart]

hi Fluffy, welcome to the forums.
sounds like the doc you see is a real stick in the mud sort, can  you see another doc at all?
also there is an organization MIND have a look online to see if there is an office near you, they have some great support workers.

[craig84]

Hi Fulffy, Welcome!

I agree with both Stewart and Becky, try another doctor and see if you can be referred to MIND via your GP as the waiting time for referrals is slightly less than if you were to approach mind yourself.

My first GP was helpful and referred me to mind right away but after he retired and my sever depression came back it was a struggle going through my GP... after a while I was so frustrated of them not taking me seriously I changed doctors surgery completely and they seem to be ok at the moment... ive been on fluoxetine for 3 weeks now but I don't notice a difference... I need to book an appointment today come to think of it.

its hard to explain everything in one message, there's always bits and pieces we miss out because there's just soo many factors brought into depression. relationships you've had with partners, family, colleagues, friends... then environments at home work or even in public... you'd never explain everything in one message but its nice to see you are open in sharing your story! some find talking to people so hard let alone strangers so well done there..

you will never be judged here !

[FluffySeal]

I think i've seen 2-3 doctors about it but they arn't at all helpful. The last one was too involved talking about my kidney infection which he prescribed me yet more medication to pay for and that was the end of the conversation, he pretty much ushered me out of the door with words so I didn't feel like asking again that I need help as he already ignored it the once. The first time I spoke to him about it he was saying perhaps I just feel sad all the time and maybe I am too sensitive. Yet he was the same one who diagnosed me as moderately depressed.
I do feel like i'm getting worse and worse.  I only recently changed to this surgery about a year ago and from what I see, all the doctors are useless despite being classed as one of the best surgeries there is.

What exactly is MIND like? I feel nervous at the thought of counselling again..

[stewart]

MIND is a body that is there for people with any sort of depression, the support worker there i have is great, he will take me to the shop if i ask, he has even done a few loads of laundry for me.

we sit and chat about how i am, get the latest on how bad the upper managers are trying to run the place, when they have never been a support worker themself.

[Pip]

 :welcome: Family, partners and so on can be well meaning but they don't understand what you're going through.  I remember when I finally let my parents know I suffer with depression their attitude was 'hope you feel better soon.  I may as well have told them I had a cold or flu  .  My mum never knew how long or how severe my depression is (she died two years ago)  and my dad still doesn't know.  My sister only found out about 18 months ago.  That's a story in itself which includes us not talking to each other for 12 years.  She has respected my request not to tell our dad how bad it is.

Keep persevering though as you deserve support / medication if it helps just as much as anybody else.

[craig84]

that's justified as it is a bit daunting walking in for the first time. As MIND deal with vulnerable people the staff are aware we may be anxious and uncomfortable being there and they are accommodating in the sense of being sensitive to you. the worst part for me the first time I went there was waiting to be seen. feeling like people walking past the waiting area (two seats under a staircase in my local one) are judging me and thinking look at this guy... it was made more uncomfortable when another patient walks in and sits beside you but I managed to crack a joke and break the ice... think I said something like what a place to put people to wait.

id say to be blunt with your GP, it does feel like they aren't interested in helping sometimes but I would have got angry if my GP tried to assume why im sad and depressed. its too complex for them to assume. I argued that I was suffering depression and I didn't want it to beat me im determined to put in the work and effort I just need the help and support from you which I don't feel im getting. I was referred to Community Mental Health team for group therapy but icouldnt maintain going because I worked away from home at the time. now I don't work there anymore I have to try and get back on to it but I fear they may say no because I gave it up before... catch 22..

let us know how you get on with MIND and your GP, you could even call your local MIND office and let them know your worries and they will hopefully ease your worries a bit.