My name is Melanie

[melaniejm]

Hi there. I began in bereavement on this site but I'm new and firstly want to say this site is phenomenal. It can be scary as your stories sometimes hit too close to home but I have no real support group so its just so good to know you guys are out there and fighting or at least reaching out. I got panic attacks after a gang rape at 19 that I didn't cope with. I went onto Aropax but back then it was very frowned upon. I went opposite and got promiscuous which led to self harm and my ever present drinking problem. Years passes and besides being a pathological liar I felt OK. In my late twenties I came home and watched my mother become sicker everyday while my dad was fired. I met a man, got pregnant, had a beautiful little girl then was dumped at the altar. Thus began my utter fear of rejection. I have no self confidence and since my mums death its all gone pear shaped again. I HAVE to find my way out because of my daughter. I had a damn panic attack in the bath with her. Work is scarce in this country so when I do manage to get some form of work my depression leads to problems. I live in a violent society and can sometimes get afraid of everything. I spent thousands (my dad did actually) on a psychiatrist that addressed my depression but not my anxiety. They came back with a vengeance. Some days I fight panic from sunrise and it can be so debilitating. I've started new meds today and can only hope it works. Exercising, water I tried it all but often turn back to booze which I know is worse. I want my daughter and dad to be proud of me.

[stewart]

Hi Melanie,
welcome to the forums, you have indeed had a bad past.
it you have a good doc, they can often be as good as any shrink, (at least i have found that with my doc)

a low self confidence is something that goes with depression, and i understand the drinking part, i have several times hit the scotch or cider hard, it dont cure the depression it just hides it a bit.

can i ask what meds you are on? im sure someone here will be able to tell you how good they are, or side effects.

[Becky123]

Hi I'm new too. So sorry to hear you're story. You are very strong after everything you've been through I'm sure they would be proud of you no matter what

[melaniejm]

Hi Stewart - I've just started Cilift (citalopram). Anyone know if its good? Thank you for your support guys.

[melaniejm]

Thanks Becky xxxxxxxxxx

[Becky123]

I was on citalopram a while ago and it worked really well I could tell it was working. Just had really bad nausea for first two weeks but once that clearer up I was fine. My friends all noticed a difference and they said it was as if I couldn't cry, like they said I would 'do the face' as if I was going to cry but then nothing. I don't know it that makes sense or helps at all but hopefully!

[stewart]

yep,citalopram is ok, or at leqast it was for me,
only changed it as the doc started to perscribe amitryptaline, and the amys dont go well with cit's

[SteveW]

I hope you find help and support here.

The standard treatment for panic attacks these days is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. CBT is rapidly taking over the world. But CBT can produce good results. I did read one research report that claimed an 80%+ success rate using 8 treatment sessions. As therapy goes that isn't bad. The alternative is drug therapy. So many different drugs have been used that I couldn't begin to list them.

I think the SSRI anti-depressants are probably out in front. Whether they can touch CBT for success rate I wouldn't like to say. But they would certainly be better than nothing to try while you waited for CBT.

Most likely source of CBT is going to be your Community Mental Health Team, though there are other sources. There is also the question of whether panic attacks alone are all you need to deal with. From your post possibly not. The CMHT could give you a full assessment and possibly direct you to counselling if that seemed likely to help as well.

I would see your GP and see if he or she would make a referral to the CMHT. I can't see reason why they wouldn't just do it.

Just read your comment about Citalopram. It is as good any of the 4 or 5 SSRI's that are licensed for use in panic disorder. But I don't think any of the drugs can really touch therapy.

[melaniejm]

Thanks Steve. Therapy is something I need to stop avoiding and start doing.
When unbalanced does anyone else feel like plates in their head are actually shifting out of synch. Sorry if that sounds insane.

[craig84]

I first avoided therapy but now I swear by it!!! Hopefully you get a good counsellor first time! ive had a couple I wasn't happy with as they seemed patronising and insensitive so keep in mind that if your not getting on with whoever you get its not the end it just means you have to ask for another... can be tedious as you feel your explaining everything over and over and over...  ive probably seen around 5 over the years for short periods or for the 6 sessions MIND gave. im now waiting for another and will have to explain everything again... again...

I feel like things are out of sync all the time, disorganised chaos in my mind it seems..
doesn't sound insane at all !

[Pip]

You've been brave to open up over your past 

It's half the battle and it can help.  Nobody can tell you a time frame for feeling better in yourself so the next best thing is getting support from others who care.  The members have helped me just for caring.

I'm not on any medication specifically for depression so will leave that to others as my medication is physical health.