Hello - Just starting medication and feel very ambivalent

[jude]

Hello everyone

This is the first forum I have posted on. I'm on my second day of fluoxetine (20mg) having finally accepted my GPs recommendation to take the prescription. I've experienced depression of varying severity for the past 15 years or so. What has made the difference is that I no longer have a hook to hang it on; previously I had several years of infertility problems and lost some friends but now I have a decent job, husband and two year old son, and after a break when I was pregnant it's come back worse than ever.

The thing is that so long as I didn't take medication I always felt there was a safety net there if I needed it. Now I'm testing that net it feels scary - what if it doesn't work? I'm worried that this could be the start of a journey that I don't have the energy for, and which might not be any better than managing without. I also feel angry that all my own efforts to manage aren't enough (I have a mindfulness practice and exercise programme although time is a real issue). I said all this to my GP who said 'that's a depressed mind thinking - let's flip it around and say, what if it works?' So there is a small feeling of hope that perhaps he is right and the medication will help to make the difference.

When I read some of the other posts on this forum I realise how many people are out there with similar sorts of experiences. I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who's at the start of their treatment or just remembers how it was for them.

All the best
Jude

[Buttercup]

Hi Jude. Welcome to the forum  xxxxxx

[Zaf]

Hi Jude and welcome  *()

Depression is scary and your doctor is right that when we are depressed we find it almost impossible to be optimstic, at my lowest if I'd won the Euoromillions I'd have simply sat worrying about things connected with it, its how this horrible illness makes our minds work :0(

Z xxx

[Sweetpea]

Hello Jude and welcome to the forum. Depression is truly awful and there are many who suffer. Its not something that people tend to talk about, that's one reason this forum is so good, it does not make us feel so alone.

S x x x x

Sent from my BlackBerry 9300 using Tapatalk

[Pip]

 $£$

[stewart]

Hi Jude, welcome to the forums, i hope you find them of help to you.

the big D can be a very scary thing, specialy for people who have been recently diagnosed or starting medication.
the medication you are on is just one of many meds to treat depression, and the doseage can be increased or changed if needed.

any concerns you may have on the meds, just ask here and im sure members who are on, or have been on find them.will tell you how they found them

[jude]

Thanks for the welcome everyone. Good to know people are out there! Jude x

[Ohdaddy]

Welcome to the forum. Friendly bunch here.   I've been on fluoxatine 20mg for almost a year now and I have had counseling.  I feel so much better now, in control and positive (with the odd wobble). It will happen for you too.  My mother admitted recently that at the age of 71 she has just started taking it and feels different about herself - more positive.   To me it feels like the part that has been missing for years has finally been installed.

Hope it all goes well for you.

Ohdaddy $%$

[Beetzart]

Hi Jude  $£$

[captainkeefy]

Ambivalent, such a cool word to describe an emotion!