Lee, I'm sorry I didn't respond yesterday. Needed to respond when I wasn't doing other things (website related
) as I didn't want to do a rushed post.
Whatever you do never give up. I know this is easier said than done try not let it show what effect it has on you when you're talking to your wife. Your focus is your children and showing that you will do anything to prove that you are and will be a good dad. You wife may feel she holds the cards but you can prove that you are doing something to help yourself. The time will come that your children will know that you have tried if she makes it difficult in the long run for you.
I have self harmed over the years as it was the only way I knew to let emotional pain out. My depression started off as emotional / verbal abuse then became even more severe when I was 19 which is adoption related. The only person who knew I self harmed was my husband and it has upset him. I eventually let my sister know in 2011 in a letter after years of not talking which is a story in itself. All I asked of her was not to tell our dad how badly I have suffered with depression or about the self harming. I did tell my parents back in 2005 that I was depressed and I may have well told them I was suffering with a cold