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32
Fun Stuff / NEW AIRLINE RULES
« Last post by Pip on April 01, 2024, 12:33:45 PM »NEW AIRLINE RULES
Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir. May I see your ticket?
Passenger: Sure.
Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please!
Passenger: What for?
Attendant: For telling you where to sit.
Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.
Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat locator fee of $5. It's the airline's new policy.
Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it.
Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not?
Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this.
Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you?
Passenger: That would be swell, thanks.
Attendant: No problem. Up we go, and done! That will be $10, please.
Passenger: What?
Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 carry-on assistance fee.
Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it.
Attendant: Actually, you're right, you can't stand. You need to sit, and fasten your seat belt. We're about to push back from the gate. But, first I need that $10.
Passenger: No way!
Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I will be forced to call the air marshal. And you really don't want me to do that.
Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me?
Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal hailing fee.
Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the $10. I can't believe this.
Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it?
Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert two quarters into the overhead coin slot for the first five minutes.
Passenger: The airline is charging me for cabin air?
Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents.
Passenger: I don't have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar?
Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!
Passenger: But you've given me only three quarters for my dollar.
Attendant: Yes, there's a change making fee of 25 cents.
Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter? What the heck can I do with this?
Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the lavatory
Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir. May I see your ticket?
Passenger: Sure.
Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please!
Passenger: What for?
Attendant: For telling you where to sit.
Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.
Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat locator fee of $5. It's the airline's new policy.
Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it.
Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not?
Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this.
Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you?
Passenger: That would be swell, thanks.
Attendant: No problem. Up we go, and done! That will be $10, please.
Passenger: What?
Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 carry-on assistance fee.
Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it.
Attendant: Actually, you're right, you can't stand. You need to sit, and fasten your seat belt. We're about to push back from the gate. But, first I need that $10.
Passenger: No way!
Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I will be forced to call the air marshal. And you really don't want me to do that.
Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me?
Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal hailing fee.
Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the $10. I can't believe this.
Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it?
Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert two quarters into the overhead coin slot for the first five minutes.
Passenger: The airline is charging me for cabin air?
Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents.
Passenger: I don't have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar?
Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!
Passenger: But you've given me only three quarters for my dollar.
Attendant: Yes, there's a change making fee of 25 cents.
Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter? What the heck can I do with this?
Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the lavatory
33
Fun Stuff / HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS
« Last post by Pip on April 01, 2024, 12:31:04 PM »HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS
Got a letter from Grandma the other day. She writes...
The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker.
I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience that followed!
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is... and I didn't notice that the light had changed.
It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed!
I found that LOTS of people love Jesus! Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!"
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking!
I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a "sunny beach"...
I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.
Then I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant, he said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back.
My grandson burst out laughing why, even he was enjoying this religious experience!
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.
So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers grinning, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.
Praise the Lord for such wonderful folk
Grandma
Got a letter from Grandma the other day. She writes...
The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker.
I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience that followed!
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is... and I didn't notice that the light had changed.
It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed!
I found that LOTS of people love Jesus! Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!"
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking!
I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a "sunny beach"...
I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.
Then I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant, he said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back.
My grandson burst out laughing why, even he was enjoying this religious experience!
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.
So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers grinning, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.
Praise the Lord for such wonderful folk
Grandma
34
The Lounge / Re: Members birthdays
« Last post by Amanda_George on April 01, 2024, 07:25:25 AM »We've got a couple of members celebrating their birthday and I'm not gonna joke about the date 'cos I'm sure they're both sick and tired of it by now!
35
Christian / Re: Devotions
« Last post by Pip on March 30, 2024, 01:39:17 PM »https://proverbs31.org/read/devotions/full-post/2023/05/24/raising-kids-with-steadfast-faith-in-a-culture-of-darkness?utm_campaign=Daily%20Devotions&utm_medium=email&_hsmi=257496871&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-8y4zPGxM05HrGc2v5AZVBxtbMpjV4JEIn7bkg8Gvoqf7JwUoex6V7VTPphJK7z1VDFTMFtWP3aOnXdA9AY0Ragc3wYcg&utm_content=257496871&utm_source=hs_email#disqus_thread
Raising Kids With Steadfast Faith in a Culture of Darkness
May 24, 2023
by Nicole Hunt
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8 (ESV)
As a millennial mom to four kids in the middle school and young teen years, I feel like the world has been turned upside down. All around us, evil is called good, and good is called evil. Our culture tells us right and wrong are relative. It rejects the objective standard of Truth for a much more convenient and subjective standard of “your truth.” And while it preaches tolerance, this worldview insists that everyone conform to its secular ideology. So as parents, how do we raise children who are steadfast in their faith when culture relentlessly seeks to deceive and confuse them?
In the times of the early Church, the Apostle Paul was in a similar situation with the church in Philippi. In Philippians 4:1, Paul lovingly encouraged the church to be steadfast in the Lord. In the verses that follow, Paul directed them to think about “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise” (Philippians 4:8).
Essentially, Paul called these believers to be steadfast in their faith by developing godly character and conduct the results of pursuing biblical wisdom. Parents can adopt this same plan when it comes to raising kids in today’s culture. We must lead our children to intentionally develop biblical wisdom and discernment so they may live with steadfast faith in this broken world. Easier said than done, right? What practical steps can we take to raise children who are steadfast in their faith?
1. Guide your children in the pursuit of biblical wisdom and discernment.
God’s Word is the very best source of wisdom and wisdom leads to godly actions and right living. Intentionally set aside time to read the Bible with your children. As they get older and are able, encourage them to read it on their own too. Then offer to discuss what they’re reading and learning. Romans 12:2 instructs us to live with renewed minds, and the path to a renewed mind is through the intentional pursuit of godly wisdom. Knowing about the fruit of the Holy Spirit is one thing; choosing to live it out is another (Galatians 5:22-25). And yet another layer of the conversation is discerning whether or not our actions are consistent with God’s call on our lives to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit. Getting to that last layer helps us grow in wisdom and discernment.
2. Be gentle with your children, always leading with love.
The pursuit of wisdom and steadfast faith will inevitably include failure. It’s not about perfection but the pursuit of excellence. We want to inspire our kids with God’s Truth not break their spirits or push them away from God. This requires gentleness and love in both our words and actions.
3. Live it out in your own life.
If we hope to teach our kids to pursue godly wisdom, we must first pursue godly wisdom ourselves. If we hope to inspire steadfast faith in our children, we must aspire to it in our lives. Let your life successes and failures be an example to your child. As parents, the very best thing we can ever do for our kids is model an authentic and growing relationship with Jesus Christ as the Lord and Savior of our lives. And we can be encouraged that God is with us every step of the way as we guide our children in the pursuit of wisdom and godly character. The journey may seem daunting, but we are never alone or without His faithful guidance.
Raising Kids With Steadfast Faith in a Culture of Darkness
May 24, 2023
by Nicole Hunt
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8 (ESV)
As a millennial mom to four kids in the middle school and young teen years, I feel like the world has been turned upside down. All around us, evil is called good, and good is called evil. Our culture tells us right and wrong are relative. It rejects the objective standard of Truth for a much more convenient and subjective standard of “your truth.” And while it preaches tolerance, this worldview insists that everyone conform to its secular ideology. So as parents, how do we raise children who are steadfast in their faith when culture relentlessly seeks to deceive and confuse them?
In the times of the early Church, the Apostle Paul was in a similar situation with the church in Philippi. In Philippians 4:1, Paul lovingly encouraged the church to be steadfast in the Lord. In the verses that follow, Paul directed them to think about “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise” (Philippians 4:8).
Essentially, Paul called these believers to be steadfast in their faith by developing godly character and conduct the results of pursuing biblical wisdom. Parents can adopt this same plan when it comes to raising kids in today’s culture. We must lead our children to intentionally develop biblical wisdom and discernment so they may live with steadfast faith in this broken world. Easier said than done, right? What practical steps can we take to raise children who are steadfast in their faith?
1. Guide your children in the pursuit of biblical wisdom and discernment.
God’s Word is the very best source of wisdom and wisdom leads to godly actions and right living. Intentionally set aside time to read the Bible with your children. As they get older and are able, encourage them to read it on their own too. Then offer to discuss what they’re reading and learning. Romans 12:2 instructs us to live with renewed minds, and the path to a renewed mind is through the intentional pursuit of godly wisdom. Knowing about the fruit of the Holy Spirit is one thing; choosing to live it out is another (Galatians 5:22-25). And yet another layer of the conversation is discerning whether or not our actions are consistent with God’s call on our lives to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit. Getting to that last layer helps us grow in wisdom and discernment.
2. Be gentle with your children, always leading with love.
The pursuit of wisdom and steadfast faith will inevitably include failure. It’s not about perfection but the pursuit of excellence. We want to inspire our kids with God’s Truth not break their spirits or push them away from God. This requires gentleness and love in both our words and actions.
3. Live it out in your own life.
If we hope to teach our kids to pursue godly wisdom, we must first pursue godly wisdom ourselves. If we hope to inspire steadfast faith in our children, we must aspire to it in our lives. Let your life successes and failures be an example to your child. As parents, the very best thing we can ever do for our kids is model an authentic and growing relationship with Jesus Christ as the Lord and Savior of our lives. And we can be encouraged that God is with us every step of the way as we guide our children in the pursuit of wisdom and godly character. The journey may seem daunting, but we are never alone or without His faithful guidance.
tarle197637
The Lounge / Re: Members birthdays
« Last post by Amanda_George on March 30, 2024, 07:29:25 AM »Our last birthday of March is tarle1976!
38
One Step At A Time / Re: fighting depression and getting back in shape
« Last post by Amanda_George on March 29, 2024, 01:19:40 PM »I just never "got" it... give me Red Dwarf any day though lol
39
One Step At A Time / Re: fighting depression and getting back in shape
« Last post by jali on March 29, 2024, 11:39:08 AM »Thank you for explaining... I just haven't watched South Park even when Steve did so I was getting confuzzled lol
Your new animation is great - keep going for as long as you enjoy it, Jali!
more then happy to clear things up,
40
Christian / Re: Devotions
« Last post by Pip on March 28, 2024, 03:11:39 PM »https://proverbs31.org/read/devotions/full-post/2023/05/22/looking-for-gods-goodness-while-waiting-for-his-good?utm_campaign=Daily%20Devotions&utm_medium=email&_hsmi=257486051&_hsenc=p2ANqtz--pDzYOybax-fRQ9YWFdV5wCuWpHUFs11vWy3rryOpDPTaTuR8y1S3fWoWaKBj3K88KKILVeBUAPOTmB-xSzk5hwv_e3Q&utm_content=257486051&utm_source=hs_email#disqus_thread
Looking for God’s Goodness While Waiting for His Good
May 22, 2023
by Alicia Bruxvoort
“Yet I am confident I will see the LORD's goodness while I am here in the land of the living.” Psalm 27:13 (NLT)
“I know God can work all things for good,” I admit as we sit outside the coffee shop, hot mugs in our hands and warm sunshine on our backs. “I just wish He’d give me a glimpse of what He’s doing in all this.”
My friend doesn’t need a detailed definition of this. She’s walked me through a recent heartache and prayed with me for a miracle. She’s shown up with groceries, lattes and hugs and has refused to offer pithy platitudes when the outcome of our prayers hasn’t matched the longing of our hearts. I pull a yellow slip of paper from my pocket and hand it to her so she can read my scribbles: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28, NIV).
For months, I’ve carried this promise around as a reminder that even though my circumstances don’t feel good, God is still working for my good. I’ve turned Romans 8:28 into a prayer of faith, and I’ve waited expectantly for God to answer. Yet as my circumstances remain unchanging, my hope is slowly waning. My conversations with God have begun to shift from I know You can take this mess and do something marvelous with it ... to Where are You, and what are You doing?
As my friend and I sip our coffee, I wrap words around my discouragement, and she listens without judgment. She nods in understanding, then speaks a gentle truth: “Even when we can’t see how God is working for our good, we can choose to see His goodness.”
Her wisdom dangles in the silence between us as she digs for something in her purse. “I carry a verse with me too,” she says with a playful wink. “It’s a reminder to open my eyes.”
She hands me her phone, and I read the pixelated promise splayed across the screen: “Yet I am confident I will see the LORD's goodness while I am here in the land of the living” (Psalm 27:13).
The verse brings both comfort and conviction. When did I stop noticing the Lord’s goodness? I wonder as the psalmist’s words stir my heart. We head home when our coffee grows cold, and I tuck that crumpled piece of yellow paper inside my prayer journal. I won’t stop believing God’s promise in Romans 8:28 and waiting in expectation. But there’s something I need to do in the meantime. I turn to a fresh page in my journal. Lord, help me to see Your goodness, I whisper. I slow my swirling thoughts and think back through the moments of my day. Then I put pen to paper and name what I see:
1. A friend who speaks in love.
2. Tulips blooming in my yard.
2. Laughter around the dinner table.
My discouragement doesn’t instantly disappear, but as I turn my scribbles into praises, my heart feels lighter, and my frustration grows quieter. I close my journal and fold the corner of the page to mark my spot. Tomorrow I will pause to notice again. Because a wise friend is teaching me that even before we see God’s promised good, we can rejoice in His present goodness. And it’s there at the intersection of faith and sight that hope grows.
Looking for God’s Goodness While Waiting for His Good
May 22, 2023
by Alicia Bruxvoort
“Yet I am confident I will see the LORD's goodness while I am here in the land of the living.” Psalm 27:13 (NLT)
“I know God can work all things for good,” I admit as we sit outside the coffee shop, hot mugs in our hands and warm sunshine on our backs. “I just wish He’d give me a glimpse of what He’s doing in all this.”
My friend doesn’t need a detailed definition of this. She’s walked me through a recent heartache and prayed with me for a miracle. She’s shown up with groceries, lattes and hugs and has refused to offer pithy platitudes when the outcome of our prayers hasn’t matched the longing of our hearts. I pull a yellow slip of paper from my pocket and hand it to her so she can read my scribbles: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28, NIV).
For months, I’ve carried this promise around as a reminder that even though my circumstances don’t feel good, God is still working for my good. I’ve turned Romans 8:28 into a prayer of faith, and I’ve waited expectantly for God to answer. Yet as my circumstances remain unchanging, my hope is slowly waning. My conversations with God have begun to shift from I know You can take this mess and do something marvelous with it ... to Where are You, and what are You doing?
As my friend and I sip our coffee, I wrap words around my discouragement, and she listens without judgment. She nods in understanding, then speaks a gentle truth: “Even when we can’t see how God is working for our good, we can choose to see His goodness.”
Her wisdom dangles in the silence between us as she digs for something in her purse. “I carry a verse with me too,” she says with a playful wink. “It’s a reminder to open my eyes.”
She hands me her phone, and I read the pixelated promise splayed across the screen: “Yet I am confident I will see the LORD's goodness while I am here in the land of the living” (Psalm 27:13).
The verse brings both comfort and conviction. When did I stop noticing the Lord’s goodness? I wonder as the psalmist’s words stir my heart. We head home when our coffee grows cold, and I tuck that crumpled piece of yellow paper inside my prayer journal. I won’t stop believing God’s promise in Romans 8:28 and waiting in expectation. But there’s something I need to do in the meantime. I turn to a fresh page in my journal. Lord, help me to see Your goodness, I whisper. I slow my swirling thoughts and think back through the moments of my day. Then I put pen to paper and name what I see:
1. A friend who speaks in love.
2. Tulips blooming in my yard.
2. Laughter around the dinner table.
My discouragement doesn’t instantly disappear, but as I turn my scribbles into praises, my heart feels lighter, and my frustration grows quieter. I close my journal and fold the corner of the page to mark my spot. Tomorrow I will pause to notice again. Because a wise friend is teaching me that even before we see God’s promised good, we can rejoice in His present goodness. And it’s there at the intersection of faith and sight that hope grows.