Depression Forums
Other Depression & Anxiety Related Illneses => Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - OCD => Topic started by: Got on October 30, 2011, 07:40:16 PM
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Has anyone else here got OCD?
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I have a few minor rituals but dont think it counts, what form does it take Stevie (if you dont mind saying)
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No I don't mind...I'm open about it. I've had it my whole life, I used to have strange rituals that would last hours sometimes. I used to do very many and strange things, but the most prominant was, and is to an extent, if I think something bad, for example a relative dying, whilst performing, an action (such as sitting down) I would have to repeat that action a certain number of times to prevent it from happening. But things like tha I have control over now, it is annoying at most, but during times of stress I can have intrusive thoughts.
But the worst part for me, is that I ruminante, and that leads to severe depression. For example, what happened with my girlfriend recently, I have being thinking about it for every waking hour of the day for three months, and I dream about it, and that leads to awful depression...enough to make you want to do yourself in. This is the side of things I can deal with, and to be honest....it is ruining my life.
People often make light of OCD, including GP's but it is a horrible distressing illness.
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so probably finding a way to get rid of the depression and/or the intrusive thoughts would help the OCD?
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Yes indeed.
The ruminating is the worst part, I spoken to CBT therapists about this and they don't know what to suggest. Its amazing how many professionals still seem to think OCD is checking locks and washing your hands. I have neither and never have.
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I check locks and wash my hands - but not as much as I would call OCD proper (if you know what I mean?) but it does get on other people's nerves sometimes!
When you say ruminating do you mean going over events past and/or future over and over and over again in your mind?
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Yes, going over and over in your mind to an obssesive level about something. For many OCD sufferers it can be the silliest of things, for example looking at a child, and then worrying for the next two weeks that you are a paedophile. In my adulthood though, I only seem to ruminate of real events, but I find that so much more stressfull because it definatly is real. This is something I beleive may contribute majorly to my depression, but it is difficult to get any advice on this on NHS, getting help for OCD is tough, and it is difficult to get treated for depression and OCD together.
It is quite shocking, the level of care for OCD sufferers. I've even had some therapists say to me 'just dont think about it' or try to train your mind to stop thinking about it' Unfortunatly, it is very hard for someone who doesn't have OCD to realise just how powerful and overiding rumination actually is.
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I would guess its similar to the difference between someone feeling fed up and someone who is clinically depressed? Someone thats fed up can "buck yourself up" but saying that to someone thats depressed is probably the silliest and often one of the most harmful things to say.
I tend to have 'what ifs' and in the past would worry about them until it made me physically ill on some occasions, I'm not sure if the advice I got from my counsellor that has helped me reduce those to a minimum would be of any help to you?
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What ifs, checking locks and frequent hand washing could all be OCD traits. People use different techniques to over come them, but one of the most common, and the one I found the most powerful, is to identify that they are irrational and label them as being OCD. If you give into these traits, you are teaching your mind that they work.
I suppose any advice would help, it either will work or it wont. I'd love to stop obsessing over what had happened because it is making me quite ill.
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I use the 'whats the worst that can happen' for locking doors and washing hands which usually works but I still get half way up the road and have to turn round to check Ive locked up a lot of times, I'm better than I was but it drives OH mad at times! Thinking about it I tend to check and double check the gate is properly shut (in case the dogs get out) and other things too at times.
You might find that meditation helps and mindfullness, both of them are supposed to still the mind but Ive found even after 10 years of practice that some days my mind is full of absolute rubbish that keeps intruding.
You might try tai chi, that is one thing I find absolutely no thoughts can get past working on my form, if you dont fancy classes there are a couple of really good DVDs that teach the short form that I can let you have the names of.
Things that were suggested by my counsellor were: 1. Take the thought as though its a physical thing, put it in a box or a drawer and make it stay there. 2. See what the thought feels like (for me its often a sort of burning sensation in my chest), picture it, if you can give it a colour, imagine it going from wherever it is in your body into one of your hands and throw it as far away as you can (in my case I sometimes have to try that lots of times as it seems to stick to my hand!). There were others but atm I cant remember them, I use the throwing away technique which works quite well for me, but I dont think I have true OCD so it may simply be that they work for people that worry about things past and future rather than obsessively worry.
Hope that isnt too garbled?
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No thank you...that is usefull thanks. The tai chi sounds good to me....but if could see me, you would giggle at what an amusing sight that would be.
What your describing sounds very much like real OCD to be honest....but not sevre... Sometimes, when people have just a few tendancies, it is considered that they have OCD traits but not actually a dissorder, but I find thats an over simplification...I think this is a way of determinig whether or not you need treatment. You are considered to have OCD when the rituals interfere with your every day life and occupy your time. Then again you get people with OCD who have no external rituals at all...but it all goes on inside their head.
I find it a bit odd that I can be told I dont have true OCD, and then a few months later I qualify as having severe OCD, and then I few months later, I'm OCD free again. As far as I am concerned I have OCD....it just goes up and down.
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Tai Chi truly is the one thing that I can do that stops all other thoughts intruding into my life while I'm practicing, I'll find the names of the two DVDs I have for you, I practice at home with them on the TV or outside with a portable DVD player when the weather is good enough :) and who cares what we look like?!
It possibly is but its never really affected how I function in everyday life, I suppose the 'what ifs' and sometimes obsessive thoughts may be what contributes to my depression on occasions though.
I cant see how you can have it sometimes and not others, I'd have thought its a case of you can control it better at times than you can at others?
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Exactly, sometimes I have more control over it. I follow an OCD charity, and one of the main things they are trying to push is a better understanding and more appropriate treatment for OCD sufferers.
OCD has become such a household name, that nobody seems to realise its severity, unfortunatly, including some doctors....much the same complaints with depression I suppose.
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it seems to be something thats very much pushed under the mat by the NHS like a lot of things they dont want to spend money on, including depression >:D
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I dont have OCD, as in the traditional sense of cleanliness, or rituals. But i do suffer from intrusive thoughts, which is also a part of OCD apparently. Its not nice and scares the crap out of me when it happens. It takes a lot to calm myself down when it does happen.
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Everyone has intrusive thoughts, it is how your respond to them that helps define if you have OCD or not. The fact that it scares the hell out of you, suggest that you do have traits.
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I'm not sure if anything I do could be classed as OCD or whether it is just anxiety, I suspect it's more likely to just be anxiety, mild anxiety at that
I make lists which must be followed strictly and checked, my most important ones are a list of things I must do when I get ready for school in the mornings, one for when I get home and one for when i'm getting ready for bed
I'd fall apart without them, i've been using lists for years
It seems so stupid from an outsider point of view that I have to have lists that say things like "Brush teeth" "Get dressed" "Deodorant" etc as if I would forget to do those things, but I genuinely think now that if I didn't have them I would forget something even something as obvious as that
I think it's because i'm so used to following the list from a piece of paper that it's not programmed into my brain like it is with other people, I genuinely can't understand how the rest of the world manage to do all this stuff without needing to think about it
I check the lists several times to check I haven't missed anything and no matter how behind time I may be, everything on the list has to be done. They bring order into my life, particularly the mornings which are usually stressful and rushed to get the bus to school
Those are my most important lists, but I have others such as one for things I have to put in my schoolbag, again I can't understand how other people manage to take everything they need by just thinking about it from the top of their head
The anxiety is a normal part of my life, I find it difficult to think of examples since I live with it every day, but the point during my day when i'm most anxious is usually when I go to get the bus in the mornings. I live a 2 minute walk away from my bus stop and usually leave the house 5 minutes before it leaves. I have never missed the bus in the mornings in my whole 5 years of high school/a levels yet it still stresses me out
I always walk up to the bus stop as fast as possible with my heart pounding, with thoughts running through my head about missing it even though I know I won't.
That's the frustrating part - I know I won't miss it, I know i'm on time, I know the driver won't decide to leave early, and I know that if I did miss it, nothing earth shattering would happen - I would just get the next bus at 11 and sign into school late, yet I can't get past the stress I feel
I don't even want to post this now but since I spent ten minutes on it, i'm too stubborn not to.
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I could have written that and I consider I have mild OCD, I try not to let it intrude into my life too much but even though my lists arent as detailed as yours I'd feel insecure without them as I'd be worrying I'd forget something; I also leave ages before I have to for everything because I dont want to be late.
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I also leave ages before I have to for everything because I dont want to be late
Same here :P at least both of us are able to be logical about our habits, like you reminding yourself "what's the worst that can happen?"
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oh timekeeping :(
this is such a big one for me, i was getting quite good at being "on time ish" but i have fallen back into old habits and being majorly early to everything!
im even worrying, right now, that i finish work at 5pm, takes 20 mins to get home, will i have time to go pick up my meds from the chemist (which i dropped in friday) and then get to my therapy session at 6pm! its probably the biggest thng that rules my life at the moment, i've always had it - just now i know i am doing it!
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I hadn't really given any thoughts to OCD's and I'm not really sure if this an OCD oe just a mental thing but I quite often ( several times a day for many years, when walking, when driving, when watching tv etc) I find I count for no reason. Not out loud but in my head. If I look at the clock for example I will for no reason count to 300 just to see if I can guess when it 5 mins later. If I get it wrong I will do again and again until I get it right. When driving I would see a marker ahead and guess how long it would take to get there. Many varying reasons but all counting and sometimes just counting from 1 until I forget I'm doing it. I also have to have notes in pocket all facing same way (queens head) and in order, 5's, 10's,20's etc and neatly folded in half. Old notes must go asap.
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I find I panic if there is even the slightest possibility I'll be late for something - which leads to going to new places beforehand and always leaving too early for appointments and then waiting for ages - which then feeds my anxiety when I'm sat in a waiting room full of people ::) When I was driving I would always need to know where I could park - the hours I spent on google maps looking for car parks and planning it all out beforehand was ridiculous...
I also ruminate a lot over things that have happened - mostly with Peter. I spend hours upon hours doing it and it drives me up the wall. Its like I know the answers, I know I should put him out of my thoughts and life and that he is really not worth all the time I soend thinking about what happened - I don't want to be thinking about him, but I can't shake it. It really really gets me down because no mater how much I go over everything, the blame always comes back onto myself and then I start to feel so guilty and it just continues "£"
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I find I panic if there is even the slightest possibility I'll be late for something - which leads to going to new places beforehand and always leaving too early for appointments and then waiting for ages - which then feeds my anxiety when I'm sat in a waiting room full of people ::) When I was driving I would always need to know where I could park - the hours I spent on google maps looking for car parks and planning it all out beforehand
I could have written that Munchroom, I also ruminate a lot, my counselling his time has helped but its often a struggle not to think about things, especially things I feel guilty about
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I too used to have to plan where to park, how many miles it was,how much it would cost and print a map with 3 alternative routes just in case. I thought it wasa normal an we all did it???
I don't drive now and after last week my son has the keys now cuz the way I drove I was lucky I didn't kill myself or someone else....idiot!!!
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I'm wondering if constantly counting things or doing something for a set period of time shows OCD tendencies?
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I have to have all my tins in the food cupboard the same way round, towels in the bathroom have to be just so, curtains have to be just so etc etc.
Scares me sometimes, but I just can't bear it if things are not right, I have to get up and put them right :(.
S x
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Same here Shaz.... It drives Chris up the wall, especially if i have to 'correct' how he has just slung the curtains back.... ::)
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I think I'm guilty of that to a certain extent, especially with the curtains :(
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I drive Craig mad too :).
S x
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I've justv read through this. Its quite normal for people to have obssesive traits (cant spell because I'm pissed). I don't think any of you appear to have a real OCD problem. OCD is actually a severe disorder that is at times completly disabling.
Some have you seem like you have traits, and I beleive if these traits are causing you anxiety, then they are quite treatable using the available techniques.
Does any one here suffer from intrusive thoughts?
Steve X
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Hi everyone I have contamination ocd with is basically my fear or germs. I find that i have periods where i dont think about it as much and very bad periods where it takes over my hole life. it does seem that the more depressed i get the worse i get. if people allow me to do it and assist me this means i have reletively low anxiety but still depression. I find I get severe anxiety the more people go against me. I see no end in this problem. at my worst i had a bsth 3 times a day would wash my hands up to 200 times a day a open door handles with tissues ect i have found ways to reduce the amount over time by trying to do things i see as "dirty" in order of how i see them. but basically everyone just thinks im weird. i feel trapped inside my thoughts. :(
x
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Hello.
I do see an end to your problems.
You clearly need CBT and you need to begin exposure therapies if you havn't already. By performing the compulsions such as hand washing etc, you are reinforing the illogical thought process and you are feeding the anxiety. The more you perform the compulsions the longer your OCD will persist. It will not get any better until you begin to start exposing yourself to your fears.
Unfortunatly, exposing your self is very scary and often overwhelming. However, with repeated exposure the anxiety will lessen and you will gradually get your life back.
I had bad OCD and now it is down to an absolute minimum, so I feel for you. It seems like an impossible mountain to climb, but it is infact do-able.
You can break free from this I promise you. Have you had any CBT or on you are a waiting list?
Love Steven XXXX