Depression Forums

General => Welcome our 'NEW MEMBERS'!! => Topic started by: milkyjoe on February 22, 2016, 07:31:27 PM

Title: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on February 22, 2016, 07:31:27 PM
hi
   im 40 years old. i was first diagnosed with depression and anxiety when i was 33 when i quit playing football. i have always suffered from irrational thoughts, shoehorning illness into my real life.

i think i was 16 when i had my first episode when i thought i was terminally ill, it passed no problem. when i was 33 i was convinced i was a goner and my sleep went away. life without sleep is horrible for me. i cant function. so i can go years without incident. but if im ill i think the worst and fall apart. my latest episode involved finding a lump in my armpit and thinking its lymphoma straight away. of course it wasnt but im now left with crippling insomnia.

my usual treatment is to get annnihilated on alcohol for a few weeks. i feel terrible in the morning and great at night, whilst waiting for the citalopram to kick in.
however this time i was already on the citalopram(20mg) just got it bumped to 40 mg but nothing is happening so really worrieed im never gonna sleep again.

in fact im not sure i have enjoyed life for a few years now. :(.
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on February 22, 2016, 08:16:06 PM
Thank you for your intro, Joe, and welcome to the forum!

You could almost be talking about me with most of your message so I really do understand where you're coming from.  Have you found anything that helps you to sleep or not really?  What is your nightly routine?  Have you tried meditation or anything like that? 

You will sleep again, but I understand the insomnia... have you found anything helps you to relax at night?  A hobby or anything like that?  What about randomly surfing the net?  Or creating a website in HTML?  Something creative like a colouring book for adults that you can get off Amazon?

I'm far from a doc, but getting drunk while you're on the Citalopram could be the cause of the pills not working, so how would you feel about not using alcohol for a few weeks?  It's just that alcohol is a depressant is all which may be why you've needed to increase your dose is all.

Not meaning to lecture you or anything, just trying to offer a few suggestions is all   ;D
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on February 22, 2016, 09:08:27 PM
hi amanda and thank you for replying.

my usual night is watching tv in bed and when im tired trying to sleep with little success. after a few restless days i then drink and catch up. it really isnt ideal i know. but its the only day i feel normal again. im going to docs tomorrow and gonna level with him about my drinking. i just feel like i have developed a bad habit regarding my sleep pattern.
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on February 23, 2016, 08:55:22 AM
Do you go to bed before you're tired?  Maybe stay out of the bedroom until you're tired then listen to the radio instead of watching TV?  That's what I do!   :biggrin:

How would you feel if he offered you a short course of sleeping pills so that you could catch up on your sleep a bit?  Not forever or anything, just a month's worth so that you can get into a new, better, sleep routine?
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on February 23, 2016, 09:45:54 AM
yeah i dont go bed till im tired. i been on zopiclone before, they worked okay but docs never give them me till i get even worse.  very frustrating. i defo still got severe anxiety as i soak the bed with sweat when i wake up after a very short sleep :(
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on February 23, 2016, 10:10:09 AM
I've got no idea about anxiety, but maybe ask for something that eases it and makes you sleepy as a side effect?   :hug:
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on February 23, 2016, 07:56:05 PM
wow. something like that would be great :D
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on February 23, 2016, 08:34:05 PM
My previous AP (anti psychotic) sent me to sleep for 12 hours within minutes of taking it so maybe there's something similar for anxiety?   :happy0158:
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Pip on February 23, 2016, 10:47:20 PM
 :welcome:

I suffer with severe depression, anxiety and have manageable OCD.  It has been an issue for me over the years over sleeping but now it's not too bad but that's probably more to do with the combination of meds I take.  What helps me when I can't sleep is to read but it's different to everybody.
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on February 24, 2016, 07:47:53 AM
hi pip.

        well i decided to drop the alcohol and see how i go regarding sleeping. last night wasnt great, think i had about 3 hours tops so im drained today. i did buy a sleep aid with has valerian in it but didnt take it yesterday. was wondering if anyone knows if it could interfere with 40mg citalopram?
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on February 24, 2016, 07:58:47 AM
It might take a while to see any effects of not drinking alcohol but keep going, Joe!  Your body is sorta going "I want alcohol" right now, but if you can get through the cravings then hopefully you will see the positive affects of the Citalopram slowly start putting in an appearance which will help your mood... you're doing well so keep going!
Title: Re: hello
Post by: SteveW on February 24, 2016, 03:16:40 PM
Joe
Valerianic Acid, which is the sedative bit of Valerian Root, doesn't have any interactions with any anti-depressants that I have heard only  St Johns Wort falls into that category. I wouldn't advise taking a sedative anti-psychotic like Olanzepine or Quetiapine. These are potent drugs intended for the treatment of psychosis and schizophrenia. The sedative effect is a side effect that many people don't get. This type of drug can raise cholesterol and many claim they can trigger Type 2 Diabetes. They aren't nice benign little drugs. Using them to control insomnia is a bit over the top.

Taking Promethazine or Amitryptyline would be a far safer bet. Promethazine is OTC but you might have to discuss things with a pharmacist before they gave it to you.

I wish you luck. Insomnia can be misery.
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on February 24, 2016, 09:21:45 PM
hi steve.

             thanks for the advice. im gonna try the sleep aid tonight.  hopefully  it will help :P
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on February 25, 2016, 09:54:09 AM
How did it go last night, Joe?  I hope you were able to sleep!
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Pip on February 25, 2016, 05:26:56 PM
Joe,

Not drinking alcohol is a good idea even if it doesn't seem like it at the moment.  I drink but keep it to once a week or special occasions but I do know what it's like not being able to sleep.  I use one of my meds, Amitriptyline, as a sleeping tablet as well as for pain.  Citalopram didn't help me after the first few months which is why I take sertraline.
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on February 25, 2016, 09:11:59 PM
hi everyone
                    sleep wasnt so good. got about 3 hours tops :(. doc said no deal on the sleep aid. said it was dangerous when on 40mg citalopram.

Even though my sleep is out of sync, Im starting to get my spirits up and not worrying too much about it. But its awfully lonely as a non sleeper in a sleeper world

Hopefully i can turn the corner tonight!!!!
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on February 26, 2016, 11:03:14 AM
What is your night time routine?  How do you feel just before you head to bed?  How would you feel about turning off the TV and computer an hour before bed time and reading a book instead or listen to the radio while you are in bed or something like that?
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on February 26, 2016, 10:22:15 PM
hi amanda

                     im usually a bit anxious that im not gonna sleep when i get into bed. i usually have the tv on till i feel drowsy and then switch it off and try to sleep. i had a bit more sleep yesterday so i havent worried to much today about it. im not sure about the radio i think music might distract me. if i could find a boring channel that just talks all night that could work. :D
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on February 27, 2016, 11:44:46 AM
Have you ever tried replacing the anxious thoughts with positive affirmations?  It doesn't work for everyone but it might be worth a try maybe?  Have you tried reading until you're on the verge of falling asleep too?  That's what I used to do and still do with magasines even now!   :smile:
Title: Re: hello
Post by: stewart on February 27, 2016, 01:09:13 PM
Watching TV and then feel sleepy, so turn it off, go to bed, and just cant settle, think it may have something to do with the tTV distracting the mind from negative thoughts
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on February 27, 2016, 01:13:48 PM
hi all

         slept well today. went from 11pm to 3 am and 330am to 7am. so fingers crossed the insomnia has passed. got a letter from the doc saying he wants to see me. it was dated the 25th when i was actually there. so no idea whats going on????? couuld be another doctor i saw previously i guess.
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on February 27, 2016, 04:09:10 PM
It might be something about a prescription review or a referral or something like that?  I'm glad you were able to sleep last night, hopefully that means that you're through the insomnia, like you said, but it might be worth having a chat to the GP when you see them?

Good luck!   :happy0158:
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on February 28, 2016, 08:51:15 AM
Hi
  Yeah im sure the letter isnt bad news. slept even better today so the insomnia has passed. got a blood test tomorrow to test my  thyroid as its been borderline for a while.
 
got my cbt on the 15th of march to treat my hypachondria. i cant really keep going backwards every time i get a symptom.

im happy for now. mood lifted and looking forward to life :D

you guys really helped with your words of wisdom
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on February 28, 2016, 09:15:01 AM
Good luck with the blood test tomorrow, Joe!  I'm glad that the insomnia has lifted too.  That's what the forum is for... to support the members whenever they need it!  I hope you'll stay with us and maybe offer support to others that are going through what you've been through!   :happy0158:
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on February 28, 2016, 09:21:33 PM
yes i will for sure :D
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on February 29, 2016, 08:51:42 AM
Good luck today, Joe!
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on February 29, 2016, 08:36:33 PM
well

had an awful night last night. hardly slept so insomnia defo not gone grrrrrrr.

been  docs  and  had blood test on my thyroid, results are in wednesday. now bit  anxious about tonight wether i will sleep or not. i really hate viscious circles



Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on March 01, 2016, 11:01:49 AM
How did you sleep last night, Joe?  I hope it was better for you!  I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping you get the result you want!
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on March 01, 2016, 08:33:07 PM
hi amanda.


 I slept really well last night so well chuffed!!!! get my results tomorrow. so prob wont sleep lol. docs dont know why they sent me a letter on saturday :D

Title: Re: hello
Post by: Pip on March 01, 2016, 09:44:34 PM
Joe,

I have just caught up as we went down to London yesterday and stayed over with my husband's sister and brother in law who is also his step uncle just to confuse you  ;) .

You seem to have so much going on even though it is to try and help you feel better.  Hope the blood tests come back okay.
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on March 02, 2016, 10:21:50 AM
Good luck with getting the results today, Joe!  I'll keep you in my thoughts all day!
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on March 04, 2016, 08:28:22 PM
hi
   had my results for thyroid. its borderline so has to be tested every 3 months. no treatment for it.

my mood has lifted considerably over last few days and had 3 good days sleeping. so overall im really pleased with my progress

just taking it day by day

Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on March 04, 2016, 08:43:58 PM
I hope you don't have problems with your thyroid, Joe!  Let us know when you have your blood test in 3 months time and I'll keep you in my thoughts for the result you want!

I'm glad you're feeling more positive and sleeping better now!  Sometimes it's hard to take it a second at a time so cling onto the positivity for as long as you can!   ;D
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on March 11, 2016, 07:21:34 AM
hi
   well after nearly a week of great sleep last night i didnt drop off and got really anxious. my skin was on fire. wth!! i cant believe i have gone backwards :( absolutely gutted.
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on March 11, 2016, 11:17:04 AM
You haven't gone backwards, Joe, it's just a bump in the road of your life is all!  Have you tried reading a magasine or something while you're in bed to help your brain to shut off the activity of the day and get ready for sleeping?  That's what I do most nights!   :happy0158:
Title: Re: hello
Post by: stewart on March 11, 2016, 12:37:58 PM
Hi Joe, welcome to the forums,
we are a nice friendly bunch and do not judge people,
there well always be someone who can offer tips or advice on many things
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on March 11, 2016, 02:01:48 PM
Thanks Stewart :-) . Yeah Amanda I'm gonna try reading tonight. Got cbt on Tuesday. Looking forward to my first session
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on March 11, 2016, 02:36:15 PM
I've got a huge pile of old magasines in our spare room that I'm slowly working through when I can't sleep... about half way down the pile so far!  lol  Good luck with the reading tonight... what sort of things do you read?  It's prolly better to read things that lets your brain shut down so no horror or puzzles or anything!   ;)  Might be wise to find something you enjoy then subscribe to it so that you know there is always something to read whenever you can't sleep without leaving the bedroom.  I'm working backwards and I'm up to 2013 now from the end of last year   :tongue0015:

If you don't want to subscribe to magasines then maybe invest in a Kindle?  It's an expensive thing to get but you can get books and stuff for as little as 99p without leaving the house!  Amazon used to do free books on their site too, but don't know if they still do or not... you can easily find out if that interests you though?   ^-^
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on March 11, 2016, 02:55:08 PM
Hi. Yeah I had a kindle but it packed up.my dad reads a lot so gonna get some books off him. I really hate not sleeping just feels so foreign to me when I cant do it
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on March 11, 2016, 09:18:39 PM
Understandably!  Is it your anxiety that keeps you awake or your brain not turning off or something else?  I'm just wondering if you'd tried getting up and having a hot, relaxing drink (not coffee  ;)) and listening to some relaxing music until you feel sleepy again and repeat.  I haven't tried that because I keep forgetting!
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on March 11, 2016, 10:02:58 PM
yeah its my anxiety that keeps me awake. i get into bed when im tired and then im not tired grrrr. and i start panicking that im not gonna sleep and end up watching pointless on challenge tv all night lol. i get  hypnic jerks when im anxious so i drop off only to twitch and wake straight back up.
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on March 11, 2016, 10:50:32 PM
I haven't tried this so don't know if it works, but it's worth a try... turn your computer off a couple of hours before bed so that the TV is your only entertainment then head to bed with the intention of just listening to the music and reading a magasine.  If you fall asleep then that's good, but the intention is to slow down your brain and try to ease your anxiety.

Don't give up if it doesn't work straight away... give it at least a week before you give up but don't worry if you don't sleep, just try to find a way to reduce your anxiety without pressurising yourself to sleep... your body will force you to sleep when it's too tired, so just concentrate on easing your anxiety for a while and go to bed to rest and relax, but not necessarily sleeping.

If you meditate, try that and if you don't do it, maybe learn how to do the basics?  Maybe try yoga too?

Just a few thoughts for you, Joe   ;D
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on March 12, 2016, 05:00:43 PM
yeah my dad keeps saying to me not to worry if u dont sleep u will eventually catch up. but i just hate being a zombie the next day.
Title: Re: hello
Post by: SteveW on March 12, 2016, 05:49:12 PM
If you are going to try Meditation there is a site that has many many guided meditations for free download . Some prefer this to Mindfulness of the Breath. I think it is easier.

     http://www.freemindfulness.org/download (http://www.freemindfulness.org/download)

If you go to the links page there are some general files on other sites, not just meditation.
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on March 12, 2016, 05:53:20 PM
thanks a lot steve. will have a look  :cool:
Title: Re: hello
Post by: SteveW on March 12, 2016, 06:33:32 PM
Good Luck
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on March 12, 2016, 06:39:22 PM
How did last night go?  Just take things really slowly and you'll get there in the end   :happy0158:
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on March 12, 2016, 11:55:10 PM
well. i did something really bad and drank alcohol at 3am and then slept. its not the answer i know and i hate doing it. i dont  even drink when my mood is fine.
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on March 13, 2016, 12:00:41 PM
I'm sorry you drank overnight, I just worry because alcohol is a depressant is all   :hug:
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on March 13, 2016, 12:24:02 PM
yeah i feel like an idiot for doing it. im gonna try and not care if i dont sleep anymore. see how that rolls.
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on March 13, 2016, 01:50:46 PM
Sounds good to me!  Can you maybe nap on the sofa during the day or anything like that to see how it goes?  How about exercise... can you maybe just walk up and down your street a few times to physically tire you out too?  What about eating... how close to you going to bed is your last meal of the day?    ^-^
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on March 13, 2016, 02:46:44 PM
Hi I can prob lie on sofa and watch TV and see what happens but I get anxious if I try to sleep. I used to go for walks awhile ago, could prob do that again but I'm just too tired. I eat around 3 hours before bed
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on March 13, 2016, 02:52:32 PM
Maybe put a really boring channel on the telly then go and lie on the sofa watching it... not trying to sleep or anything, just to see what happens?  Do you have a hot or cold meal before you go to bed?  I'm just thinking that maybe you could swap meals for a while because we had a hot lunch and Steve's snoring away on the sofa and I'm tired too, so if you usually have a hot meal for lunch, maybe try a hot evening meal before you go to bed sorta thing?
Title: Re: hello
Post by: SteveW on March 13, 2016, 07:55:01 PM
Hi Joe. It occurred to me that your sleeping problem might be bad enough that you need to go beyond your GP. In practice this means Sleep Clinics. Unfortunately there are probably less of these than are needed. But you might live close enough to access one of them. This link takes you to a page that has a search facility.

     http://www.healthcentre.org.uk/sleep-disorders/find.html (http://www.healthcentre.org.uk/sleep-disorders/find.html)
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Pip on March 13, 2016, 11:17:23 PM
It's worth getting checked out with regards to your sleeping.  About three or four years ago my husband was referred to the sleep apnea clinic at our local hospital.  It turned out he stopped breathing 58 times in an hour so has had a machine with mask to help him sleep better.  When my husband uses it which isn't often he sleeps much better.
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on March 14, 2016, 09:51:39 AM
Yeah I'm gonna mentioned it when I see the docs next. I usually sleep no problem. But when my depression hits my sleep always goes first. I'm thinking my citalopram just doesn't work anymore. Been on it for years
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on March 14, 2016, 01:33:41 PM
It was the same for me before I got the right dosage of AD and AP and still is when I forget to take the pills!  Maybe ask to be referred to a Psychiatrist 'cos meds are their specialty?  There is help out there, sometimes it just takes a while to find the right combination unfortunately.
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on March 14, 2016, 05:43:15 PM
Yeah imma mention that. Got my first cbt session tomorrow so I'm hoping that will help
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on March 14, 2016, 07:04:06 PM
Good luck tomorrow, Joe!  I hope it goes well for you!
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on March 14, 2016, 07:30:01 PM
Thanks Amanda :-)
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Pip on March 14, 2016, 10:46:21 PM
I did CBT online four years ago and it did help with my anxiety.  Sometimes I still suffer with anxiety but I am better equipped these days to cope with it.
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on March 15, 2016, 11:39:57 AM
Good luck today!  I'll keep you in my thoughts all day!
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on March 15, 2016, 01:00:15 PM
Saw the cbt dude. He put me on a low mood and anxiety course which I gotta book in few days. Also mentioned changing my meds to a sedative anti depressant mitrasomething lol. So will speak to my doc about getting that changed as I dont think citalopram is working too well
Title: Re: hello
Post by: SteveW on March 15, 2016, 03:52:35 PM
I think the guy you saw was thinking of Mirtazepine. It is about as sedative as anti depressants get. There was a study in America called the Star*D study. It looked at quite a few drugs as to effectiveness, Mirtazepine was certainly in the top four and I think it was actually the number one. You could do a lot worse than give it a try.
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on March 15, 2016, 04:00:03 PM
It sounds like the CBT doc you saw was reasonably helpful then!  Was the AD Mirtazapine by any chance?  How do you think it went?  I hope the course helps you!    ^-^
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on March 15, 2016, 04:52:06 PM
Yeah that's the drug he said. Guy was really nice. Helpful he said that I know what my trigger points are and that's where we need to work on.
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on March 15, 2016, 04:58:37 PM
Are you going to see him again after you've started the course or has he closed your case already?  I hope the Mirtazapine works for you!
Title: Re: hello
Post by: SteveW on March 15, 2016, 07:50:30 PM
Had a think and decided I shoould tell you a couple of things about Mritazepine.

The first is weight gain. Mirtazepine is terrible for this. People have gained up to 17 kg in a year. Your doctor may or may not tell you this but it a good idea to weigh yourself before you start and keep a record of your weight once a month. It is much easier to gain weight than it is to get it off. Best to try and avoid the problem.

The second thing is sedation. Mirtazepine is rather weird. People who take lower doses experience more sedation than those who take higher ones. Since sleeping is such a problem for you I would probably give a 15mg starter dose rather longer to lift my depression than I would most other drugs. If you don't improve on 15 mg your GP will give you 30 mg and you will likely lose a degree of sedation and go backwards with your sleep.

But things seem to be gradually better for you. Hopefully the therapy will be successful and you won't have to worry about drugs. Take care.

Steve
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on March 15, 2016, 08:38:02 PM
thanks for the info steve. much appreciated. i will read up on it as well.
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Pip on March 16, 2016, 09:04:14 PM
It's good that you are getting the help you need  :happy0158:
Title: Re: hello
Post by: stewart on March 17, 2016, 01:38:50 PM
It is indeed a shame that most anti d's cause sleepiness,
some anti d's have a dual use.
refering to Amytryptaline, anti d, or a sleeping aid.
Title: Re: hello
Post by: milkyjoe on March 28, 2016, 12:01:10 AM
hi everyone.

                         just wanna draw an end to this thread and let u know how i am. my sleep has returned and i feel strong again. this usually can last between 6 months and 3 years but im hoping i wont get dragged back in to depression. everytime it gets harder and harder to beat but my latest episode was the longest but easiest and u guys n gals defo helped me. i will log on to this site and hopefully give advice on people who have gone through similar to what i have done. just cos im nott posting dont mean im not reading. thanks again for the support and u will hear from me again.................
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Amanda_George on March 28, 2016, 08:57:53 AM
I'm glad you're feeling better and your sleep has returned Joe!  Maybe stop in every now and then and let us know how you're getting on otherwise I'll worry!  It doesn't have to be long (unless you want it to be of course), just a quick "hi, I'm still about, still sleeping and stuff" is all I/we need to read   :happy0158:
Title: Re: hello
Post by: Pip on March 28, 2016, 08:47:26 PM
That's good news and you will always be welcome to post any time you feel like even if it's just to let us know you are okay.