Depression Forums
Depression - Road to Recovery => One Step At A Time => Topic started by: no-one-special on January 18, 2012, 11:55:58 PM
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I have been looking for a same place , a home kind of, for these thoughts. Sorry if I am in the wrong place or if it makes no sense.
I am not afraid of the monster
who lives across the road
who lives in silence
who stands there all alone
I don not care about the monster
who stares at me at night
who delights in my fear
who loves to see my fright
I am not scared of the monster
Sitting in my room
lurking in the shadows
or sitting by my bed
The monster I am afraid of
that terrifies me to the bone
is the monster that lives inside
and taunts me when i am alone
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thats very good :)
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Thats really good - really struck a chord xx
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Very good - sounded really close to home.
S x
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sometimes it is easier to hide behind a verse
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Puts me in mind of this song a little bit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csBW4smCU2w
xx
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What a beautiful song I only wish my words could hold such power &*(
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The smile can hide a thousand hurts
A laugh can earn their trust
but who we are behind it all
sometimes becomes too much.
I wont let them see its hurting me
I wont let them share my pain
but in the deepest darkest parts
my heart is filled with shame.
I want to find my healing hands
the ones that fixed the rest
but all I find is pointless thoughts
that have got me in this mess
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Thats brilliant :)
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Once upon a time
not so long ago
I had a light inside my soul
A light that made me glow
I now stand in the shadows
and wonder where it went
I look in to the empty space
My light it has been spent.
I see my value through others eyes
I sense my worth through them
I use their light to guide my way
A path that leads to mayhem
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Thats brilliant :)
Thank you being able to post my thoughts has really help *(*
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They are wonderful my dear. I havent wrtten anything for a while. I may start finding my muse again xz
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I am
A mother
A daughter
A sister
A wife
A Worker
A cleaner
A nurse
A doctor
A childminder
A counsellor
A warden
A confidant
A lover
A cook
A carer
A referee
A judge
A jury
I wear so many hats is it any wonder I have lost who I am
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I am
A mother
A daughter
A sister
A wife
A Worker
A cleaner
A nurse
A doctor
A childminder
A counsellor
A warden
A confidant
A lover
A cook
A carer
A referee
A judge
A jury
I wear so many hats is it any wonder I have lost who I am
Never a truer word said.
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I so agree.
S x
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if you could cover you life
with a blanket of snow
what words would you write to be seen ?
If you could dissolve you life
in a torrent of rain
would you swim for for the sure to be saved ?
If you could clear you life
with a tornado ,a storm
would you cling on or just let go ?
When the darkness falls
and the light is all gone
are you alone afraid on the floor ?
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When the darkness falls
and the light is all gone
are you alone afraid on the floor ?
Yes.
I definetly - as I'm sure most people with depression find - feel that as soon as everything stops, as soon as I get into bed, the lights go off and its quiet I'm very scared - theres nothing to hide it or to mask it - its me and my thoughts, thats it.
You are very talented. Please keep writing
xx
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When the darkness falls
and the light is all gone
are you alone afraid on the floor ?
Yes.
I definetly - as I'm sure most people with depression find - feel that as soon as everything stops, as soon as I get into bed, the lights go off and its quiet I'm very scared - theres nothing to hide it or to mask it - its me and my thoughts, thats it.
You are very talented. Please keep writing
xx
I am not talented but thank you that means a lot. The words are just there and they come tumbling out. It is really cathartic &*(
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When I can't do right for doing wrong
When my fear prevents me moving on
When I worry for others more than you'll ever know
when words hurt more than I can show
Thats when I need your understanding most
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That was very moving.
S x
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Sadness is a lover
whos hands will not let go
longing for the happiness
that once i use to know
I revisit all my mistakes
my ifs and what should be
I wish I could erase them
but they are what makes me ME
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I sit alone
The clock ticks
the wind blows
The clock ticks
the night falls
The clock ticks
Dawn breaks
The clock ticks
I go
The clock......
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WOW i wish i could write like u
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I love you
I can feel you near
I need you
I want you here
I will protect you
Keep the darkness away
I will hold you
If you want me to stay
But I need space
a time to mend
I need help
I fear I am near the end
But I will be true
I will be here for you
and even when I am gone
My love for you is always strong
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Thats good :)
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Thats lovely :).
S x
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Something is wrong ,nothing feels right, I am crying for others,but not for life
I am fearing the dark corners that live in my mind
I have nothing to offer ,nothing but time
I cant see the sun, I can see only cloud
I can feel the rain ,Its pouring on down
I see the puddles are my tears, and my life is the ground.
They form and they go and nothing is found
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Lovely again :).
S x
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You really are very good xx
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I thought things were getting better
thoughts were clearer in my mind
I hoped things were improving
getting better over time
Then I asked for help and found
the was none when I looked around
Why open up just to be let down ?
Why open up to rejection ?
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I think all your poems are very good, I wish I could put my thoughts into words like that
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thank you x
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Tears falling
Fear grows
A breath catches
but no one knows
I scream in silence, to free the pain
I scream in silence to feel again
I can see where I should be
happy with smiles and the right to be me
I know the truth, I know where the secrets lie
I dont want to live like this but I dont want to die
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That's very good, says it all.
S x
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Wow, no other words
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The house is quiet
All are a sleep
I sit in the dark
life looks bleak
I wait for the sun
to break through all the grey
I know one day
It has to shine my way
But until the day breaks
you will find me to be
sitting alone
wishing to be free
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I can really identify with that, so much that it made me cry
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I can really identify with that, so much that it made me cry
hugs xx
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I asked you to help me
And what did you do
You told told me you would
but you were not being true
You could have helped me
to show me the sun
but I guess hurting me was just too much fun
I wont show you you hurt me
I wont show you I cared
I wont let you see me
I am no longer scared
You had the chance to help me
I could have stopped feeling like this
You had the chance to help me
but you were taking the piss
You care for no one
other than you
You care for no one
and that is the truth
But my day will come
I am no longer scared
My day for the sun
I am nearly there
And when I do
you will see
no one knows me
Like I know me !!
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Thats is lovely.
S x
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The time has come to take control
To stand up and demand to be seen
You will listen to me when I speak
You will remember me in your dreams
I will stand up strong and tall and proud
I will make the whole world listen
I see that sitting back wont work
I have come to that decision
On this day I will make my stand
I will no longer cower away by the door
I will make you see
whats been done to me
can not carry on no more
So take this chance to understand
that your actions are to blame
And when I leave and you are all alone
You will have to live with a burning shame
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the calm is here
she walks with grace
she shows the way
My view is clear
I invite her in
please stay a while
her light is pure
her manner mild
She takes my hand
she pulls me close
she strokes my hair
I feel her comfort most
She takes my pain, my fear is hers
She shows me how to cry
I close my eyes and feel her warmth
I release my terror with a heartfelt sigh
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That is really lovely.
S x
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Tomorrow
Tomorrow I will know
Tomorrow I will find my destiny
Tomorrow I will learn my fate
Will the gods be kind ?
Will they look down on me ?
Will the sit and laugh at my weakness ?
When the answers are know
when the time comes to see
when I learn the truth it will be
Tomorrow
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We do we go when its all goes wrong ?
where can we lie when all hope has gone ?
When life leaves you cold,
and the day is old.
Where do we go ?
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why nurture love when we are destined to spend eternity alone ?
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But are we?
Z xx
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I think so. we spend our lives building walls that when the time comes our defences are so strong and our man made bubble so small. We choose reasons to exclude but never reasons to include so as time goes by we sit in our empty fortress looking at the walls we built and forever regretting not putting so much as a door or window in that could lead us to the out side world.
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Thats probably true in this life but eternity?
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there is no heaven there is no hell will all live in an reality we have made for ourselves .
Eternity stretches as far as can be full of isolation and emptiness , of soul searching and regret . It is a reflection of what we build in this world that we take to the next
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I dont believe in heaven or hell either but I do believe in eternity and what we learn in this world helps us in the next :)
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and what we dont learn we repeat .
Thank you for replying xx
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We may do but we also get a chance to learn more
Z xx
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If we are all made in gods image then why are there people who are evil ?
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I saw the stars
I saw their eyes
I saw them stare
arms open wide
I heard the stars
come hear the sighed
come here and heal
come here and hide
I felt the stars
their heat inspire
their love is strong
their need desire
And now they fade
as the sky turns blue
as the bird song flows
my tears do too
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I have a make or break meeting with occupational health tomorrow I feel so defeated I really feel as if I want to say enough is enough. They expect me to drive 16 miles to get to the appointment which is in the middle of liverpool at 5pm It just feels like they are doing everything to make it as hard as possible for me to get back to work.
But they dont see that this is making things worse. I have to tell yet another stranger how I feel and whats going on. It has taken me a year to open up to the doctor and 6 weeks to speak to a counsellor but work expects me to bare my soul to a stranger for 30 mins so he can say if I am ill or not ! How is that going to make me feel better ? How is that going to ease my stress, reduce my depression ?
I can't take OH as he doesn't know what is truly going on but I can't drive so have had to ask my union rep to take me.
It feels hopeless. I have no idea what to say. I have no idea if I will be able to say anything. Just thinking about it is making me feel sick to the pit of my stomach ,
wish I could find a dark room lay down and just sleep until it all goes away. I feel so lost.
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This is going to be very hard for you. Could you try writing down how you are feeling and take this with you. That way you can hand this over, maybe it would be easier for you this way.
Hope it goes as well as it can for you.
S x x x x
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I agree with shaz, hope it goes OK for you xxx
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Thank you both for your time I think thats a good idea I will try and fine some peace and write it down xx
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Really good guys