Firstly, I have huge respect for you. To take on so much and have such a mature attitude to it all is borderline heroic in my book. I had a good childhood with lovely parents (not perfect but who is?) so I cant advise or truly understand what it must be like. I have had 15 years experience as a HCA in the NHS and have cared for many people with drink problems. Its very different to your experience but I have seen many families torn apart by drink.
To have had so much happen to you has clearly shaped the person you are today, but remember that everyone has their limit. At some point you need to live your own life, although from what you have said it may be difficult to leave the caring role you know so well behind. I have seen many good people such as yourself suffer because they refuse to step down and burn themselves out. I know you are now away from the destructive phase of your mums drinking and your dads abuse and I know that you care very much for your brother and sister, but you are clearly still taking on a lot by looking after your family. Your sister is now 23 and needs to learn to fend for herself. In the longrun doing everything for her will not do her or yourself any favours.
Have you ever spoken to each other about what has happened and how you feel? Do they realise how much you are giving and how you feel? It might be beneficial to try to talk to each other about it if you can and let them know that you want them to start to do more for themselves. It need not be done in a harsh fashion, just as a 'where we go from here' chat.
I do not mean any of the above to sound 'preachy'. I have no idea of the hardship you or your family have endured, it must have been very tough for you especially in the earlier years. I think you sound like an amazing person, sister and lets face it - stand in mother too! I just think that you have spent most of your life caring for everyone else and now its time to take some time out to care for yourself a little, even if its just short term
Take care :)
