Ezel Posted: Mon May 11, 2009 8:44 pm
For many years I have suffered with depression which started in my teens. I have suffered an emotionally abusive relationship with a family member since I was young and there were a couple of incidents in my teens that made it worse. One indirectly affected me as it was to do with another family member and I was expected never to talk about it. The second was when I was coerced to surrender my son to adoption when I was 19 years old. It affected me far more than I understood at the time and it was many years later that I understood that I have also been suffering with PTSD due to my son being adopted.
Until 2005 I rarely talked about being depressed and only one person had an inkling that I did suffer with depression and that was my husband. He knew my son's adoption had affected me deeply particularly after I found my son in 2004. It was as if a door had been unlocked to my emotions and it was very difficult to cope with the rush of emotions. I was very confused by the extreme feelings I was going through so little wonder that I eventually hit rock bottom over a year later.
When I did talk to my doctor he made me feel so normal and recognised that I was deeply depressed- I was suicidal at this point but I didn't want to die deep down. For a while I was on medication then stopped but when back on it for a short time in 2007 after my son moved in with us.
What has helped me more than anything is having a husband who understands what I'm going through and good friends.
